OCD
What it means to be OCD
I know I have mentioned several times that I have OCD. I have even explained the few areas where it shows up. Resources on data is one of them. I need at least 6 verifiable sources on the subject matter. It shows up in other places too. But the worse, the one that is causing me to have my third glass of wine just to be able to stop putting in my two weeks notice is money. I have always worried about money, even as a teenager. I have been living on my own since I was a senior in high school. When I was 15, my mother would constantly need all of my money that I had saved up from working. It got to the point that while I was a senior in high school, I would go to school half the day and work three job the rest of the time because I was always worried about paying my bills.
How bad do I worry about money? To make this trip in a few days I will need to some how convince my self that it is ok to travel with only hundred dollars in cash. It has taken everything in my power to allow my self to go even though I do not have $400 in cash on me. Does not matter how much I have in my account, well not much. I will not pull out money from my checking account. If I want to make this trip then I need to save enough for what ever may happen.
So I have set the stage to let people know that I worry about money. Now with that said, it is time to explain my OCD concerning money.
My coworkers would rather be over then short in their till. I cannot comprehend this in the manner that makes sense to them. I explain to them that it does not matter if I am short or over, I am still off. If I am over then I cheated the patrons. If I am short, then the company. Either way it is still wrong. *breath*
I count the money I start with. I count out the money that returns to the company and the the money I have made for the company. I count out the starting amount three times and place it in a pile. THREE TIMES in THREE DIFFERENT WAYS!!!! Then I count the money I made for the company the same method. Never the same way just to make sure I am not getting lazy. They run my report, and it matches. (98% of the time) I drop the money in the safe. I am OCD.... It is important to remember this.
Almost every shift I have worked the last MONTH/month and half I have been told that I have been off by EXACTLY 10 dollars from the starting amount. As I have explain to him this is not possible. I AM OCD about the money. the owner expect me to take the money out of MY POCKET and give it to him.
Something is very wrong here. I count it three times, sometime 6 times. I will always recount it 5 times again if I am even off by more then a quarter. It matches when I drop the money. He thinks maybe I am miscounting, but I explain that it is not possible, I am OCD.
Today he told me I was off exactly ten dollars both times even though when I dropped the money, I was exactly on. I even gave him a run down of exactly what I had put in the start envelope. I could do that for the last three drops.
My OCD had made it that I could not act. I spent several moments unable to do anything but stand there shocked. I do what needs to be done and leave without saying a word. I am to work Saturday morning as a bartender, but I am afraid I will not be capable to deal with a till until I figure out a solution. This is were the OCD has a hold of me.
After talking to a friend, I think I might have something to help it out the shortage. FOR I KNOW DAMN WELL IT IS NOT ME. I stake my job on it.
I know I have mentioned several times that I have OCD. I have even explained the few areas where it shows up. Resources on data is one of them. I need at least 6 verifiable sources on the subject matter. It shows up in other places too. But the worse, the one that is causing me to have my third glass of wine just to be able to stop putting in my two weeks notice is money. I have always worried about money, even as a teenager. I have been living on my own since I was a senior in high school. When I was 15, my mother would constantly need all of my money that I had saved up from working. It got to the point that while I was a senior in high school, I would go to school half the day and work three job the rest of the time because I was always worried about paying my bills.
How bad do I worry about money? To make this trip in a few days I will need to some how convince my self that it is ok to travel with only hundred dollars in cash. It has taken everything in my power to allow my self to go even though I do not have $400 in cash on me. Does not matter how much I have in my account, well not much. I will not pull out money from my checking account. If I want to make this trip then I need to save enough for what ever may happen.
So I have set the stage to let people know that I worry about money. Now with that said, it is time to explain my OCD concerning money.
My coworkers would rather be over then short in their till. I cannot comprehend this in the manner that makes sense to them. I explain to them that it does not matter if I am short or over, I am still off. If I am over then I cheated the patrons. If I am short, then the company. Either way it is still wrong. *breath*
I count the money I start with. I count out the money that returns to the company and the the money I have made for the company. I count out the starting amount three times and place it in a pile. THREE TIMES in THREE DIFFERENT WAYS!!!! Then I count the money I made for the company the same method. Never the same way just to make sure I am not getting lazy. They run my report, and it matches. (98% of the time) I drop the money in the safe. I am OCD.... It is important to remember this.
Almost every shift I have worked the last MONTH/month and half I have been told that I have been off by EXACTLY 10 dollars from the starting amount. As I have explain to him this is not possible. I AM OCD about the money. the owner expect me to take the money out of MY POCKET and give it to him.
Something is very wrong here. I count it three times, sometime 6 times. I will always recount it 5 times again if I am even off by more then a quarter. It matches when I drop the money. He thinks maybe I am miscounting, but I explain that it is not possible, I am OCD.
Today he told me I was off exactly ten dollars both times even though when I dropped the money, I was exactly on. I even gave him a run down of exactly what I had put in the start envelope. I could do that for the last three drops.
My OCD had made it that I could not act. I spent several moments unable to do anything but stand there shocked. I do what needs to be done and leave without saying a word. I am to work Saturday morning as a bartender, but I am afraid I will not be capable to deal with a till until I figure out a solution. This is were the OCD has a hold of me.
After talking to a friend, I think I might have something to help it out the shortage. FOR I KNOW DAMN WELL IT IS NOT ME. I stake my job on it.