Freakish Nightmare

[kasuru_hahaoya]

I was taking a short nap while Vivi slept for a bit yesterday afternoon, and I had a very disturbing dream. I dreamt that John and I were living in this dorm type setting in a building with two floors. We were arguing about something, so I went and stayed with a friend in another room, only to hear a strange noise. I went to investigate, so I go upstairs and find my husband in bed with another woman. I was livid and started to rip off the sheets and scream at the girl. I asked John why he had decided it was okay to spend the night with someone else the same night we had just had a fight. It wasn't even getting a divorce or a separation fight, just a normal needing to cool off fight. Then I hear a faint sound on the other side of the house. It's Vivienne crying out, "Mamamamamama" like she does when she gets scared or upset and is calling for me. I try to go the other side on the second story only to find the second floor is divided and the only way to get there is to go back downstairs, then climb the staircase on the other side of the house. So I quickly leave, trying to get to my baby. Suddenly, Vivienne's cries become more and more frantic, turning into straight out screaming. I start running to her, running up the stairs. When I find her, a strange man is holding her with her clothes halfway off, and his finger is trying to penetrate her vagina. I scream out, trying to get my baby away from him, but he backs away from me out of reach too fast. I cry out, "My baby! Give me my baby!!" while Vivienne is crying as loud as ever. I try to get her out of his arms without hurting her too much, and while clawing off his face at the same time. Then I wake up.

I woke up crying with my heart breaking. Why am I having dreams like this? It hurts to even re-live the dream by writing it out. But I'm afraid that if I don't tell somebody that I will re-dream it, and I don't know if I can stand another sleep like that. I need some comfort :-(