How?
How do you deal with things that you've spent months hiding? I told someone the truth (I don't regret it though - I think I needed to tell someone) and now my smoke and mirrors are slowly sliding away.
Don't worry if this doesn't make any sense, I don't expect it to. It's just... My two greatest strengths have always been my dealing with people and my utter reliance on illusion. People sometimes say Knowledge is power, but to say 'Illusion is Power' is far more appropriet. If you think the bridge will hold you, you won't be afraid to walk on it - even if it should've been condemned twenty years before.
It... gods, now I'm actually trying to explain this whole effed up mess. *headdesk* I've even started to swear more. That's how much this is all getting to me.
Damn.
See, my illusions are always two parts truth, one part mirror. Its a lie, but it's different. It exsists because I want - no, I need someone to be happy and I don't want them to hurt. So I'll say one thing and let them think that what I said is the whole truth, even though it's been taken out of context.
I can count on one hand the number of times I've let down an illusion with someone. I have fingers to spare.
I can think of only one person that I've never had to build up an illusion with, and I'm scared to talk to her about this.
Go figure.
Maybe... oh hell I don't know. I keep freezing up when I deal with things. I don't know why. I just can't move. Can't breath. But no one notices... Then again, as good as it would be to be able to just collapse and leave the illusions and shattered mirrors behind, it would hurt too many people that I care about, and I... I can't risk that happening. Not while I'm in a position to prevent it.
Does that make me a fool?
Don't worry if this doesn't make any sense, I don't expect it to. It's just... My two greatest strengths have always been my dealing with people and my utter reliance on illusion. People sometimes say Knowledge is power, but to say 'Illusion is Power' is far more appropriet. If you think the bridge will hold you, you won't be afraid to walk on it - even if it should've been condemned twenty years before.
It... gods, now I'm actually trying to explain this whole effed up mess. *headdesk* I've even started to swear more. That's how much this is all getting to me.
Damn.
See, my illusions are always two parts truth, one part mirror. Its a lie, but it's different. It exsists because I want - no, I need someone to be happy and I don't want them to hurt. So I'll say one thing and let them think that what I said is the whole truth, even though it's been taken out of context.
I can count on one hand the number of times I've let down an illusion with someone. I have fingers to spare.
I can think of only one person that I've never had to build up an illusion with, and I'm scared to talk to her about this.
Go figure.
Maybe... oh hell I don't know. I keep freezing up when I deal with things. I don't know why. I just can't move. Can't breath. But no one notices... Then again, as good as it would be to be able to just collapse and leave the illusions and shattered mirrors behind, it would hurt too many people that I care about, and I... I can't risk that happening. Not while I'm in a position to prevent it.
Does that make me a fool?