The Ultimate Guide to Gratuitous German in Fanfiction
- And if you really want to do things right and impress everyone with your rad German skills: Write nouns with capital letters. Germans will love you forever.
(Basically: Just remember “Bruder” and “Fräulein” are capitalized ;)
One last thing: In case you were wondering - Klavier's German does not make much sense. He's a walking and talking cliché, and he's using clichéd expressions and "ja?" at all the wrong places - but well, that's the whole fun of it. Yet no matter how silly and stupid Klavier's gratuitous German might be, you'd still want to do imitate it right, ja?
So let's get down to the nitty-gritty!
1. Gibberish made by Google
Never EVER use google.translate or any other online translating thingies.
Just... don't.
Here's an example (from a fanfiction I don't remember right now) that I sent through the google translator to turn it back to English: “everything is my brother, forgive, you can crazy, but I still love you” And it's still worse than this, because in German, the grammar is even more fucked up.
2. You = ...?
Germans have this strange and silly habit of addressing persons they don't know well or they aren't that close to with "Sie" instead of "du", which leads to all kinds of complications - and it's probably best if you don't even try.
Just remember never to use the formal "Sie" for relatives, friends and good acquaintances, no matter what the dictionary tells you (dictionaries and especially online translators tend to spit out the formal way of addressing someone). Sticking to "du" will usually do for all your fanfiction needs.
3. Ich love dyou?
Not really something I've seen being done wrong, but it's still important.
I love you. ≠ Ich liebe dich.
I like you. ≠ Ich hab dich lieb.
I like you. = Ich mag dich.
You would use “I love you.” for your family, for your friends and everyone you feel very close to. “Ich liebe dich.” has a much stronger meaning, it is exclusively used for your boy/girlfriend or wife/husband etc. You would USUALLY not tell your brother “Ich liebe dich.” (Of course you can still insert it into your fanfiction, if you want to depict their relationship as a little... weird. Which I would approve of in any case.)
The same goes for “Ich hab dich lieb.”, which is a sentence that has a slightly stronger connotation and implies a closer relationship than “I like you”. But it also sounds a little childish, so I wouldn't exactly use it for Kristoph to tell it anyone ;]
4. Schönen guten Abend, Ciao, Tschüssi
Somebody already had this problem, not knowing how Klavier would tell goodbye in German. In this special case, it was about a phone call.
Klavier would not tell Kristoph “Auf Wiederhören.” on the telephone. It's much too formal. Not even Kristoph would use it to tell Klavier goodbye. He would in any case use it to talk to business partners.
Pretty typical for Klavier would be “Bis dann.”, in any case, not only on the telephone. “Bis später” is the same as “see you later” and works just as well. Also “Mach's gut.” could be nice.
With Kristoph it's more complicated. He has a more formal way of talking, but in German everything sounds stilted pretty easily. So please don't make Kristoph tell Klavier “Leb wohl.” or stuff like this. He would probably greet people with a simple “Guten Tag.”, strangers or business partners with “Schönen guten Tag.”, and tell those strangers and business partners goodbye saying “Auf Wiedersehen”.
But careful, you wouldn't say “Auf Wiedersehen.” to a more closer person like your little brother or friend ;] At this point even Kristoph could use the much less formal “Mach's gut.” or “Wir sehen uns.”
DON'T make them say “Tschüss.” or “Tschüssi.” It sounds just absolutely gay in the stupid way.
Oh, last but not least: “Gute Nacht.” is something you only tell people when you're going to sleep.
5. Mein Bruder
Never ever make either Gavin address the other as “Bruder” or even “mein Bruder”. It is not only absolutely anachronistic to call your brother like that in German, it also has an extremely weird connotation due to a very popular German comedy movie ( ► “Der Schuh des Manitu”). If you still want to include this word in your fanfiction, note that the plural of “Bruder” is “Brüder”. Of course despite the connotation you can use it as much as you want except for the case of addressing someone.
6. Alternatives
You can however, if you REALLY want them to call each other by their family relation, either use “Brüderchen” (only in ironic situations! Like Klavier teasing him, or Kristoph being highly sarcastic).
Or you can make them call each other “Bruderherz”. But you should not forget that this term is also VERY anachronistic and tacky. It should only be used in EXTREMELY ironic situations (i.e. Klavier visiting Kristoph in prison after sending him there, Kristoph welcoming him and calling him “Bruderherz” in the process).
7. Achtung Baby!
“Achtung” actually means "look out" or "be careful", so if you yell "Achtung!", every German will be in a state of alert. Except when you use it as a silly U2 reference.
8. Ach ich Armer...
"Ach" is perfectly okay in combinations like "Ach, fine!" or the like, as an exclamation of resignation and frustration. Never use it to show sorrow or distress - or it will sound like a monologue in a very old drama (very similar to "Alas!").
9. I wool you!
Okay, now I know nobody really feels like doing long-winded research when all they want is to write a good oldfashioned PWP sporting one of the Gavins and some whispered sexy German words.
But pleasepleaseplease, take the time. I know nobody but us Germans will notice, but we DO notice and when we're reading a nice sexy scene and Klavier is telling something to Apollo that's along the lines of “Ich wolle dich!!”... well, I can tell you, the last thing I'm thinking about is the pretty scene at this point.
And much worse, if Kristoph tells Klavier something like that. Because in this case, instead of having sexytimes with Kristoph, Klavier would just burst out laughing in his face.
I know German is a difficult language and it's pretty easy to overlook mistakes. But one single letter makes the difference between this hawt little extra Germaness in your fanfiction and an unintentional laughing fit.
Ask Germans! If you don't know any Germans, for heaven's sake, ask ME. I'm always glad to help and as I said, I want your Gavin-fanfictions to turn out great just as much as you do ;]
10. I body you!
Something very short and general: ie ≠ ei!!
It makes such a strong difference like you wouldn't believe! If you write “Ich leibe dich” instead of “Ich liebe dich”, you went from romantic to involuntarily ridiculous.
11. Mein Fraulinchenleinchen
Well, Klavier does use this word a lot, so it should be adressed here.
It's F r ä u l e i n.
Not Fraulein, not Fraulin and not Frauline and REALLY not Fraulinchen and oh ma GAWD what's a Fraülien?!
I've seen this done wrong SO many times I lost count. Fräulein already IS the diminutive of Frau, so please stop trying making a diminutive of it.
One more thing about the Fraulein: I know your keyboard does not have an "ä", but why don't you just copy it? You just have to search for “Fraulein” on google and the first thing popping up is a big blue “Fräulein” (or copy it from here!).
If you really can't find any "ä" ANYWHERE since you have no internet connection because you are living in a cave or for whatever other reason... you can always write "ae" instead of "ä" (same goes for ö=oe, ü=ue). It may look stupid, but it's right. You may think it doesn't make a difference, but trust me. It does.
Also for everyone who writes Klavier/Ema: Detective ≠ Detektiv. Detective = Inspektor.
12a. Nicknames and pet names
"Schatz" translates to "dear/darling", and is used by married couples, especially in movies, and nothing a sane young person would ever say to anyone. "Schätzi" does not exist.
Never use any nicknames with "lein" or "chen". Just please, please, don't.
12b. O mai tru wuv
Something important which should be pointed out, as it occurs pretty frequently:
meine Liebe ≠ my love
When you’re addressing someone with “meine Liebe”, the most common translation is “my dear”. So please don’t make Klavier talk like an old grandma. ;)
Also, the romantic pet name “love” does not translate to “Liebe”, but “Liebste (f) / Liebster (m)” (although people born our century would rather use “Schatz” (on that topic, see above)).
13. Of female brothers
Don’t forget to pay attention to the gender to avoid involuntarily humorous gender confusion!
Of course, getting all those possessive pronouns and adjectives right is rather tricky, but fear not, here’s a bit of assistance:
mein Bruder = my brother
meine Schwester = my sister
but: mein Fräulein, because „Fräulein“ as a word is neuter (don’t ask).
mein / lieber / kleiner… = my / dear / little… (male) (e.g. Bruder)
meine / liebe / kleine... = my / dear / little… (female) (e.g. Schwester)
mein / liebes / kleines… = my / dear / little… (neuter) (e.g. Fräulein, Mädchen (girl) or Kind (child))
meine Kleine = cute nickname for a little girl, very macho when used for flirting
mein Kleiner = cute nickname for a little boy, condescending/teasing for an adult male
Kleine / Kleiner = shorty, little one (calling a woman „Kleine“ sounds like you’re coming on to her in the arrogant, disrespectful, icky kind of way)
Rule of thumb for possessive pronouns and adjectives:
Ending with a consonant = male, ending with “-e” = female.
Of course, it is in fact more complicated than that and it’s rather difficult to get the gender right, but a good online dictionary can help you here.
14. The little Piano is called whatnow?
Don't. Make. ANYBODY. Call Kristoph “Krissi”.
“Krissi” is a very common girl’s name, and calling a boy (and especially a grown man!) “Krissi” is very weird, not to mention extremely silly and ridiculous.
If you think a nickname is absolutely necessary, you can use “Kris”, which is pretty common (just like in English), and imho cute and casual enough.
“Klavi” makes no sense at all. It makes me wonder how on Earth English speakers usually pronounce his name.
So maybe we need a quick digression: Klavier is pronounced /k l a v i ɐ/ or, with examples:
“Kl” (just like in clear) “a” (like in father) “v” (like in very) and the “ier” is very similar to the sound in dear (for the American speakers: try to leave out the “r”, as it’s not pronounced at all).
You see, Klavier only consists of two syllables and flows pretty well, so there is no necessity to shorten the name. It also sounds nice and rather cute imho, so I don’t see how it could possibly get any better. As for “Klavi”, a native German speaker would never cut off the end of the syllable like that. The sound “ier” is a diphthong, which means there’s a slight shift from one vowel sound to the other - but it is still one inseparable sound, not two.
TL;DR: It sounds strange and would never occur to a native German speaker.
So if you want to use a nickname, “Klav” would be possible, but only for English speakers - for German speakers, it’s awkward to pronounce it.
15. Sometimes you just feel sorry.
In English you say “I'm sorry.” or maybe “I'm so sorry.” or “I'm so very sorry.”. Oh, and there's “Forgive me”.
But in German, there are SO many different forms to say sorry, and every single one is used in different situations. It's like we're the masters of apologizing. So let's make a little list, shall we?
Sorry. - you can say that in German, too, it's a little colloquial, but very common if nothing big happened. i.e. used when you are stepping on a friend's toes accidentally.
'Tschuldigung. / 'Tschuldige. - Exactly the same as “Sorry”.
Entschuldigung. - This is a more formal way to say sorry for the same kind of situation. You can also say “Entschuldigung.” if some stranger on the street is standing in your way and you have to get through.
Entschuldigen Sie. / Entschuldigen Sie bitte. - Asking a stranger for the direction to the nearest train station? This is how you are beginning your sentence.
Entschuldige bitte. - Not used to apologize. It's always used in an ironic kind of way, you know, like “Well, excuuuuuuse me, princess!” ;]
Entschuldige mich bitte. / Bitte entschuldigen Sie mich. - It's a formal way of what you could say when you're at a restaurant with someone you don't know that well and you need to go to the bathroom or something for a second.
Es tut mir Leid. - That's what you tell somebody for every minor and major offense you might have caused, maybe you broke somebody's vase, maybe you didn't think of their birthday. It's very common and used very often.
Tut mir Leid. - Same as “Es tut mir Leid” but more colloquial.
Verzeihen Sie. - Pretty much the same as “Entschuldigen Sie”.
Verzeih mir. - imho one of the most beautiful German phrases and perfect for somebody begging for forgiveness.
Verzeih. - REALLY anachronistic. You really shouldn't use this.
Vergeben Sie mir. - Sounds like you are begging some emperor to forgive you. I can't think of any modern situation where you could use this.
Vergib mir. - It's almost the same as “Verzeih mir”, but imho not as pretty.
16. Pornographic German = NO-NO!
If it really is not absolutely required for some reason, NEVER try to use sex-related words in German. It always, and with always I mean ALWAYS sounds absolutely awkward and ridiculous.
Even we Germans prefer to use English for our smut-rpgs/-pwps. If we can, that is. The reason is that German sex vocabulary sounds like right out of a low standard porn movie. For example: There is no German equivalent for “cock”. Every German word you can use to refer to a penis sounds somehow embarrassing. We Germans are very uptight about stuff like this it seems 8D
Short dictionary of UGGGGF(FIGG)
Things like Ja, Nein, Danke, Bitte should be clear by now, but here's a short list of sentences you can use in your fanfictions without any German laughing at you, isn't that great? 8D
Hello. - Hallo.
Good morning. - Guten Morgen.
Formal way of saying hello all day long. - Guten Tag
Good afternoon. - No German equivalent. It's also Guten Tag.
Good evening. - Guten Abend.
Good night. - Gute Nacht. (only used when going to bed/sleep)
How are you? - Wie geht's dir?
I love you. - Ich liebe dich.
I like you. - Ich mag dich.
I adore you. - Ich verehre dich. (sounds pretty corny in German.)
I want you. - Ich will dich.
I need you. - Ich brauche dich.
I'm crazy about you. - Ich bin verrückt nach dir. (sounds rather cute, so it's more Klavier-ish and not something Kristoph would use)
Screw you / Fuck you - Fick dich.
Shit - Scheiße (or Scheisse)
my big brother - mein großer Bruder
my little brother - mein kleiner Bruder
I want to / I'd like to / I need/have to ask you something - Ich will / ich möchte / ich muss dich etwas fragen.
I have no idea. - Keine Ahnung.
Don't leave. - Geh nicht.
Don't leave me. - Verlass mich nicht.
Don't leave me alone. - Lass mich nicht allein.
That's it for now. If you have further questions, requests, need specific sentences or more explanations: feel free to ask in the comments or send us a message. We will expand the guide as soon as we find stuff to add.
We hope that you find this useful.
Feedback and critique is appreciated <3
Also, bis dann! :D
(Basically: Just remember “Bruder” and “Fräulein” are capitalized ;)
One last thing: In case you were wondering - Klavier's German does not make much sense. He's a walking and talking cliché, and he's using clichéd expressions and "ja?" at all the wrong places - but well, that's the whole fun of it. Yet no matter how silly and stupid Klavier's gratuitous German might be, you'd still want to do imitate it right, ja?
So let's get down to the nitty-gritty!
1. Gibberish made by Google
Never EVER use google.translate or any other online translating thingies.
Just... don't.
Here's an example (from a fanfiction I don't remember right now) that I sent through the google translator to turn it back to English: “everything is my brother, forgive, you can crazy, but I still love you” And it's still worse than this, because in German, the grammar is even more fucked up.
2. You = ...?
Germans have this strange and silly habit of addressing persons they don't know well or they aren't that close to with "Sie" instead of "du", which leads to all kinds of complications - and it's probably best if you don't even try.
Just remember never to use the formal "Sie" for relatives, friends and good acquaintances, no matter what the dictionary tells you (dictionaries and especially online translators tend to spit out the formal way of addressing someone). Sticking to "du" will usually do for all your fanfiction needs.
3. Ich love dyou?
Not really something I've seen being done wrong, but it's still important.
I love you. ≠ Ich liebe dich.
I like you. ≠ Ich hab dich lieb.
I like you. = Ich mag dich.
You would use “I love you.” for your family, for your friends and everyone you feel very close to. “Ich liebe dich.” has a much stronger meaning, it is exclusively used for your boy/girlfriend or wife/husband etc. You would USUALLY not tell your brother “Ich liebe dich.” (Of course you can still insert it into your fanfiction, if you want to depict their relationship as a little... weird. Which I would approve of in any case.)
The same goes for “Ich hab dich lieb.”, which is a sentence that has a slightly stronger connotation and implies a closer relationship than “I like you”. But it also sounds a little childish, so I wouldn't exactly use it for Kristoph to tell it anyone ;]
4. Schönen guten Abend, Ciao, Tschüssi
Somebody already had this problem, not knowing how Klavier would tell goodbye in German. In this special case, it was about a phone call.
Klavier would not tell Kristoph “Auf Wiederhören.” on the telephone. It's much too formal. Not even Kristoph would use it to tell Klavier goodbye. He would in any case use it to talk to business partners.
Pretty typical for Klavier would be “Bis dann.”, in any case, not only on the telephone. “Bis später” is the same as “see you later” and works just as well. Also “Mach's gut.” could be nice.
With Kristoph it's more complicated. He has a more formal way of talking, but in German everything sounds stilted pretty easily. So please don't make Kristoph tell Klavier “Leb wohl.” or stuff like this. He would probably greet people with a simple “Guten Tag.”, strangers or business partners with “Schönen guten Tag.”, and tell those strangers and business partners goodbye saying “Auf Wiedersehen”.
But careful, you wouldn't say “Auf Wiedersehen.” to a more closer person like your little brother or friend ;] At this point even Kristoph could use the much less formal “Mach's gut.” or “Wir sehen uns.”
DON'T make them say “Tschüss.” or “Tschüssi.” It sounds just absolutely gay in the stupid way.
Oh, last but not least: “Gute Nacht.” is something you only tell people when you're going to sleep.
5. Mein Bruder
Never ever make either Gavin address the other as “Bruder” or even “mein Bruder”. It is not only absolutely anachronistic to call your brother like that in German, it also has an extremely weird connotation due to a very popular German comedy movie ( ► “Der Schuh des Manitu”). If you still want to include this word in your fanfiction, note that the plural of “Bruder” is “Brüder”. Of course despite the connotation you can use it as much as you want except for the case of addressing someone.
6. Alternatives
You can however, if you REALLY want them to call each other by their family relation, either use “Brüderchen” (only in ironic situations! Like Klavier teasing him, or Kristoph being highly sarcastic).
Or you can make them call each other “Bruderherz”. But you should not forget that this term is also VERY anachronistic and tacky. It should only be used in EXTREMELY ironic situations (i.e. Klavier visiting Kristoph in prison after sending him there, Kristoph welcoming him and calling him “Bruderherz” in the process).
7. Achtung Baby!
“Achtung” actually means "look out" or "be careful", so if you yell "Achtung!", every German will be in a state of alert. Except when you use it as a silly U2 reference.
8. Ach ich Armer...
"Ach" is perfectly okay in combinations like "Ach, fine!" or the like, as an exclamation of resignation and frustration. Never use it to show sorrow or distress - or it will sound like a monologue in a very old drama (very similar to "Alas!").
9. I wool you!
Okay, now I know nobody really feels like doing long-winded research when all they want is to write a good oldfashioned PWP sporting one of the Gavins and some whispered sexy German words.
But pleasepleaseplease, take the time. I know nobody but us Germans will notice, but we DO notice and when we're reading a nice sexy scene and Klavier is telling something to Apollo that's along the lines of “Ich wolle dich!!”... well, I can tell you, the last thing I'm thinking about is the pretty scene at this point.
And much worse, if Kristoph tells Klavier something like that. Because in this case, instead of having sexytimes with Kristoph, Klavier would just burst out laughing in his face.
I know German is a difficult language and it's pretty easy to overlook mistakes. But one single letter makes the difference between this hawt little extra Germaness in your fanfiction and an unintentional laughing fit.
Ask Germans! If you don't know any Germans, for heaven's sake, ask ME. I'm always glad to help and as I said, I want your Gavin-fanfictions to turn out great just as much as you do ;]
10. I body you!
Something very short and general: ie ≠ ei!!
It makes such a strong difference like you wouldn't believe! If you write “Ich leibe dich” instead of “Ich liebe dich”, you went from romantic to involuntarily ridiculous.
11. Mein Fraulinchenleinchen
Well, Klavier does use this word a lot, so it should be adressed here.
It's F r ä u l e i n.
Not Fraulein, not Fraulin and not Frauline and REALLY not Fraulinchen and oh ma GAWD what's a Fraülien?!
I've seen this done wrong SO many times I lost count. Fräulein already IS the diminutive of Frau, so please stop trying making a diminutive of it.
One more thing about the Fraulein: I know your keyboard does not have an "ä", but why don't you just copy it? You just have to search for “Fraulein” on google and the first thing popping up is a big blue “Fräulein” (or copy it from here!).
If you really can't find any "ä" ANYWHERE since you have no internet connection because you are living in a cave or for whatever other reason... you can always write "ae" instead of "ä" (same goes for ö=oe, ü=ue). It may look stupid, but it's right. You may think it doesn't make a difference, but trust me. It does.
Also for everyone who writes Klavier/Ema: Detective ≠ Detektiv. Detective = Inspektor.
12a. Nicknames and pet names
"Schatz" translates to "dear/darling", and is used by married couples, especially in movies, and nothing a sane young person would ever say to anyone. "Schätzi" does not exist.
Never use any nicknames with "lein" or "chen". Just please, please, don't.
12b. O mai tru wuv
Something important which should be pointed out, as it occurs pretty frequently:
meine Liebe ≠ my love
When you’re addressing someone with “meine Liebe”, the most common translation is “my dear”. So please don’t make Klavier talk like an old grandma. ;)
Also, the romantic pet name “love” does not translate to “Liebe”, but “Liebste (f) / Liebster (m)” (although people born our century would rather use “Schatz” (on that topic, see above)).
13. Of female brothers
Don’t forget to pay attention to the gender to avoid involuntarily humorous gender confusion!
Of course, getting all those possessive pronouns and adjectives right is rather tricky, but fear not, here’s a bit of assistance:
mein Bruder = my brother
meine Schwester = my sister
but: mein Fräulein, because „Fräulein“ as a word is neuter (don’t ask).
mein / lieber / kleiner… = my / dear / little… (male) (e.g. Bruder)
meine / liebe / kleine... = my / dear / little… (female) (e.g. Schwester)
mein / liebes / kleines… = my / dear / little… (neuter) (e.g. Fräulein, Mädchen (girl) or Kind (child))
meine Kleine = cute nickname for a little girl, very macho when used for flirting
mein Kleiner = cute nickname for a little boy, condescending/teasing for an adult male
Kleine / Kleiner = shorty, little one (calling a woman „Kleine“ sounds like you’re coming on to her in the arrogant, disrespectful, icky kind of way)
Rule of thumb for possessive pronouns and adjectives:
Ending with a consonant = male, ending with “-e” = female.
Of course, it is in fact more complicated than that and it’s rather difficult to get the gender right, but a good online dictionary can help you here.
14. The little Piano is called whatnow?
Don't. Make. ANYBODY. Call Kristoph “Krissi”.
“Krissi” is a very common girl’s name, and calling a boy (and especially a grown man!) “Krissi” is very weird, not to mention extremely silly and ridiculous.
If you think a nickname is absolutely necessary, you can use “Kris”, which is pretty common (just like in English), and imho cute and casual enough.
“Klavi” makes no sense at all. It makes me wonder how on Earth English speakers usually pronounce his name.
So maybe we need a quick digression: Klavier is pronounced /k l a v i ɐ/ or, with examples:
“Kl” (just like in clear) “a” (like in father) “v” (like in very) and the “ier” is very similar to the sound in dear (for the American speakers: try to leave out the “r”, as it’s not pronounced at all).
You see, Klavier only consists of two syllables and flows pretty well, so there is no necessity to shorten the name. It also sounds nice and rather cute imho, so I don’t see how it could possibly get any better. As for “Klavi”, a native German speaker would never cut off the end of the syllable like that. The sound “ier” is a diphthong, which means there’s a slight shift from one vowel sound to the other - but it is still one inseparable sound, not two.
TL;DR: It sounds strange and would never occur to a native German speaker.
So if you want to use a nickname, “Klav” would be possible, but only for English speakers - for German speakers, it’s awkward to pronounce it.
15. Sometimes you just feel sorry.
In English you say “I'm sorry.” or maybe “I'm so sorry.” or “I'm so very sorry.”. Oh, and there's “Forgive me”.
But in German, there are SO many different forms to say sorry, and every single one is used in different situations. It's like we're the masters of apologizing. So let's make a little list, shall we?
Sorry. - you can say that in German, too, it's a little colloquial, but very common if nothing big happened. i.e. used when you are stepping on a friend's toes accidentally.
'Tschuldigung. / 'Tschuldige. - Exactly the same as “Sorry”.
Entschuldigung. - This is a more formal way to say sorry for the same kind of situation. You can also say “Entschuldigung.” if some stranger on the street is standing in your way and you have to get through.
Entschuldigen Sie. / Entschuldigen Sie bitte. - Asking a stranger for the direction to the nearest train station? This is how you are beginning your sentence.
Entschuldige bitte. - Not used to apologize. It's always used in an ironic kind of way, you know, like “Well, excuuuuuuse me, princess!” ;]
Entschuldige mich bitte. / Bitte entschuldigen Sie mich. - It's a formal way of what you could say when you're at a restaurant with someone you don't know that well and you need to go to the bathroom or something for a second.
Es tut mir Leid. - That's what you tell somebody for every minor and major offense you might have caused, maybe you broke somebody's vase, maybe you didn't think of their birthday. It's very common and used very often.
Tut mir Leid. - Same as “Es tut mir Leid” but more colloquial.
Verzeihen Sie. - Pretty much the same as “Entschuldigen Sie”.
Verzeih mir. - imho one of the most beautiful German phrases and perfect for somebody begging for forgiveness.
Verzeih. - REALLY anachronistic. You really shouldn't use this.
Vergeben Sie mir. - Sounds like you are begging some emperor to forgive you. I can't think of any modern situation where you could use this.
Vergib mir. - It's almost the same as “Verzeih mir”, but imho not as pretty.
16. Pornographic German = NO-NO!
If it really is not absolutely required for some reason, NEVER try to use sex-related words in German. It always, and with always I mean ALWAYS sounds absolutely awkward and ridiculous.
Even we Germans prefer to use English for our smut-rpgs/-pwps. If we can, that is. The reason is that German sex vocabulary sounds like right out of a low standard porn movie. For example: There is no German equivalent for “cock”. Every German word you can use to refer to a penis sounds somehow embarrassing. We Germans are very uptight about stuff like this it seems 8D
Short dictionary of UGGGGF(FIGG)
Things like Ja, Nein, Danke, Bitte should be clear by now, but here's a short list of sentences you can use in your fanfictions without any German laughing at you, isn't that great? 8D
Hello. - Hallo.
Good morning. - Guten Morgen.
Formal way of saying hello all day long. - Guten Tag
Good afternoon. - No German equivalent. It's also Guten Tag.
Good evening. - Guten Abend.
Good night. - Gute Nacht. (only used when going to bed/sleep)
How are you? - Wie geht's dir?
I love you. - Ich liebe dich.
I like you. - Ich mag dich.
I adore you. - Ich verehre dich. (sounds pretty corny in German.)
I want you. - Ich will dich.
I need you. - Ich brauche dich.
I'm crazy about you. - Ich bin verrückt nach dir. (sounds rather cute, so it's more Klavier-ish and not something Kristoph would use)
Screw you / Fuck you - Fick dich.
Shit - Scheiße (or Scheisse)
my big brother - mein großer Bruder
my little brother - mein kleiner Bruder
I want to / I'd like to / I need/have to ask you something - Ich will / ich möchte / ich muss dich etwas fragen.
I have no idea. - Keine Ahnung.
Don't leave. - Geh nicht.
Don't leave me. - Verlass mich nicht.
Don't leave me alone. - Lass mich nicht allein.
That's it for now. If you have further questions, requests, need specific sentences or more explanations: feel free to ask in the comments or send us a message. We will expand the guide as soon as we find stuff to add.
We hope that you find this useful.
Feedback and critique is appreciated <3
Also, bis dann! :D