(no subject)
hi all.. weekly update.. not sure how well its gonna go though my head is pounding,
so i was up all night.. got up about 8pm sat night,.. its now 10am as you can see...
i spent all night watching movies and playing the good ol psp,.. at least up untill i felt the house shake at about 1am.
i ran downstairs after spilling coke all over myself to find dad had fallen in the bathroom. delerious of course.. i helped him up and he told me he went to flush the toilet then spun around to make "copies, or a fax" for mom.. and then he fell..
at this point im worried for his own safety, so i stayed up and kept an eye on him all night, then traded off with mom at about 7, the whole night i wanted to cry, just watching him tore me apart. i talked to him when his eyes were open and he still was in a dream, i watched him roll up a garden hose, freak out over crayons on the wall,.. even what looked like cooking in the kitchen,.. all with nothing there,.
i dont know what to say to him.. he asks me questions that dont have a LOGICAL answer.. i try to help him.. no theres nothing there dad,.. ive been here the whole time dad,.. we never had that conversation dad,.. but it just confuses him i think. i started agreeing with him at one point. i was holding the lit ciggarette that he'd dropped, and he was asking me something about my business i had. how was it going .. i dont even remember.. what ever.. i just went with it.. at least it didnt wake him up. eyes wide open still dreaming.
god only knows what his mind is doing,.. its so quick. change after change,. i hardly ever see him finnish one thing before he's in another. it looks to me like his mind is just living out day to day things.. just horribly unorganized, like a fragmented harddrive randomly running incomplete programs then jumping to the next.
come to think of it.. i dont think i ever heard the toilet flush, nor was there the noise of a settaling tank,.. and an empty bowl.. prolly just another dream,
its hard to take in, i sat at the kitchen table with him, we talked.. not sure what was real or not.. but,. he was in and out.. drank his invisable coke and not sure what it was,.. but tinkered with something in his hands.. but we talked.. i wanted to cry , i i almost asked him, if he'd talked to my grandfather. and the simple task of writing that sentence has painfully brought tears to my eyes.
im done,
so i was up all night.. got up about 8pm sat night,.. its now 10am as you can see...
i spent all night watching movies and playing the good ol psp,.. at least up untill i felt the house shake at about 1am.
i ran downstairs after spilling coke all over myself to find dad had fallen in the bathroom. delerious of course.. i helped him up and he told me he went to flush the toilet then spun around to make "copies, or a fax" for mom.. and then he fell..
at this point im worried for his own safety, so i stayed up and kept an eye on him all night, then traded off with mom at about 7, the whole night i wanted to cry, just watching him tore me apart. i talked to him when his eyes were open and he still was in a dream, i watched him roll up a garden hose, freak out over crayons on the wall,.. even what looked like cooking in the kitchen,.. all with nothing there,.
i dont know what to say to him.. he asks me questions that dont have a LOGICAL answer.. i try to help him.. no theres nothing there dad,.. ive been here the whole time dad,.. we never had that conversation dad,.. but it just confuses him i think. i started agreeing with him at one point. i was holding the lit ciggarette that he'd dropped, and he was asking me something about my business i had. how was it going .. i dont even remember.. what ever.. i just went with it.. at least it didnt wake him up. eyes wide open still dreaming.
god only knows what his mind is doing,.. its so quick. change after change,. i hardly ever see him finnish one thing before he's in another. it looks to me like his mind is just living out day to day things.. just horribly unorganized, like a fragmented harddrive randomly running incomplete programs then jumping to the next.
come to think of it.. i dont think i ever heard the toilet flush, nor was there the noise of a settaling tank,.. and an empty bowl.. prolly just another dream,
its hard to take in, i sat at the kitchen table with him, we talked.. not sure what was real or not.. but,. he was in and out.. drank his invisable coke and not sure what it was,.. but tinkered with something in his hands.. but we talked.. i wanted to cry , i i almost asked him, if he'd talked to my grandfather. and the simple task of writing that sentence has painfully brought tears to my eyes.
im done,