ah-ha.
Well, this week is gonna be what we like to call a doozy.
In addition to the three most important games of our season tuesday, thursday and friday, I also have a marathon of DC meetings starting tomorrow...not to mention regular ole school and some semblance of a social life.
speaking of socialness, i just had a phone convo with gordon. and afterwards, i felt like those dumb girls in movies who just get off the phone with a boy and then stare meaningfully and with oodles of melancholy into the distance, and then rest there wrinkle-less brow on the table and heave a heavy sigh. Not of relief or greif, but something else entirely. If you've been there, you'd know.
Needless to say we had a good chat, productive meaning good, and not unnecessary. But some small part of me somewhere, wanted some hopeless romantic night in shining armor to overtake his shy little body for a second and profess his undying love. Erm, no such luck. I knew it was coming and needed to be done for us both. We agreed that now is the not the right time. He admitted he was uncomfortable but also said that he cared about me, but just knew he couldn't handle it right now. And sadly I knew all this alsmot from day one...i was just too damn naive and hopeful to get it.
so maybe, in a few years, he'll come knocking on my door with Chef G brownies and wildflowers, to ask me if we could try again. It's just sad...sad that we have a connection that could go there and yet cant at the same time. I know nobody else gets this, and everyone thinks I was a dumbass to see anything in him ever, but really its there, he just hasn't opened up to you yet. things are never quite what they seem.
Other than that had a great weekend with Chels, Jon and Kate.....and hung out with erika on friday night after our game. also really fun. I feel like I have a great comfy big group of friends and I love it. Sadly not all my friends or potential friends are at westtown any longer, and it just leaves me feeling a lil empty. I guess thats how i feel right now, empty. They should have that as one of the lil mood bears...
MufflerRufflerDuffler's big 1-6 on wednesday!!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!
and in other news, i can't think of other news....
.love.
In addition to the three most important games of our season tuesday, thursday and friday, I also have a marathon of DC meetings starting tomorrow...not to mention regular ole school and some semblance of a social life.
speaking of socialness, i just had a phone convo with gordon. and afterwards, i felt like those dumb girls in movies who just get off the phone with a boy and then stare meaningfully and with oodles of melancholy into the distance, and then rest there wrinkle-less brow on the table and heave a heavy sigh. Not of relief or greif, but something else entirely. If you've been there, you'd know.
Needless to say we had a good chat, productive meaning good, and not unnecessary. But some small part of me somewhere, wanted some hopeless romantic night in shining armor to overtake his shy little body for a second and profess his undying love. Erm, no such luck. I knew it was coming and needed to be done for us both. We agreed that now is the not the right time. He admitted he was uncomfortable but also said that he cared about me, but just knew he couldn't handle it right now. And sadly I knew all this alsmot from day one...i was just too damn naive and hopeful to get it.
so maybe, in a few years, he'll come knocking on my door with Chef G brownies and wildflowers, to ask me if we could try again. It's just sad...sad that we have a connection that could go there and yet cant at the same time. I know nobody else gets this, and everyone thinks I was a dumbass to see anything in him ever, but really its there, he just hasn't opened up to you yet. things are never quite what they seem.
Other than that had a great weekend with Chels, Jon and Kate.....and hung out with erika on friday night after our game. also really fun. I feel like I have a great comfy big group of friends and I love it. Sadly not all my friends or potential friends are at westtown any longer, and it just leaves me feeling a lil empty. I guess thats how i feel right now, empty. They should have that as one of the lil mood bears...
MufflerRufflerDuffler's big 1-6 on wednesday!!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!
and in other news, i can't think of other news....
.love.