Fic: Not my life (Doctor Who)
Title: Not my life
Author: karlamartinova
Fandom/Character(s)/Pairing(s): Doctor Who (Ten/Donna)
Genre: General
Rating: PG
Words: 1 008
Challenge/Prompt: Challenge 09: The pens are made for writing / Style: No dialogue @ fictionland
AN: I missed writing Donna :)
.
All her life Donna felt his presence. Since she was a little girl, there was someone in the background, someone looking out for her. At first, she drew him as an angel with large white wings. His face was always hidden by something, a tree, car or telephone booth. Later Donna realized that she just didn’t remember it.
It was a voice in her head, a hand that pulled her from the crossing the street when there was a drunk driver that later killed her childhood friend. Sometimes it was just a slight tremor in her hand when a decision needed to be made, but he was always with her.
When Donna is older, old enough to forget to buy milk and remember things that her children couldn’t know, she starts to draw again. A man in brown pinstripe suit and spiky hair, she knows his name now.
She was nineteen when she had met him for the first time, attending the college with a head full of dreams. He was clever, oh, how he was clever. He told her about galaxies and wonders of the universe and when Donna didn’t believe him, he touched her hand and the world exploded behind her eyes.
She remembers the forgetting too. Remembers his hands on her temples, remembers his soothing voice and Donna knows she was afraid then, but now is just a treasured memory. One that resurfaced and one she wasn’t ready to let go.
John had kept coming back, kept turning up at times when Donna didn’t even know she needed him. He had been her shoulder when her first boyfriend broke up with her, when he professor told her that being a temp is the most she can ever accomplish. John had told her she was brilliant many, many times and Donna never believed him. He told her she would be once the most important woman in the universe and she, in her naivety, understood him in very different manner.
It had ended with a sloppy kiss and lots of apologies. Donna thought that he wouldn’t come back. He did and it was all back. Talks, walks, hugs. But something changes, those hugs were slightly longer and when they parted, there was a sad feeling in his eyes. Like it was the last time he sees her and Donna wanted to touch his cheek, reassure him that she wasn’t going anywhere.
Years flew by, Donna finished her college and started temping. John had been there to celebrate her first job, helped her move to her first flat and she never ever wondered where he was, when he wasn’t comfortably sitting on her couch.
Donna never asked and only now she realized that it was his doing too.
John stopped her questions without her knowing it; he came and left whenever he wanted. And Donna built her own life with him as a constant part of it. She never introduced him to her friends, never talked about him and now she remembers quiet evenings when she thought he was just her imagination, her fight against loneliness.
Now, with medication more memories resurfaced. Donna remembers asking him questions he didn’t like; questions that made him look away from her. She remembers being persistent. Then she remembers the kiss. The desperate way he held her, crushed her with his arms. John whispered to her a prayer and when Donna closes her eyes, she could hear his voice in her mind.
She supposes she should feel betrayed. He had stolen her memories, made her forget such important parts of her life, erased herself from her life like she didn’t have any say in it. But she doesn’t its coming all back to her now. And her life isn’t sad and empty anymore, it’s like all of sudden someone changed the film.
The monitors beep loudly and Donna closes her eyes, feels a building headache behind her eyelids. It hurts, it hurts so much, but it’s a good pain. It means that more is too come, more to see and remember.
Next day is a creature from stone in the morning and a planet made from sapphires in the evening. Donna doesn’t remember her family entering and leaving, she remembers lots and lots of running and John, no, not John, the Doctor, holding her hand and pulling her though an ancient looking market.
She doesn’t know that her daughter kissed her cheek just before she left the room, because she is on an alien space ship saving the world from an invasion and it’s his voice telling her what to do.
Then she remembers the end, her pleading voice and the horrible feeling of forgetting and she feels angry all of sudden but then she remembers more and the anger vanishes as quick as it came. She is back and her room is empty. It unfamiliar and Donna realized she didn’t know how she got there, didn’t remember the flowers in her nightstand and the smell in the air.
She closes her eyes, breathes in and smiles when there is that alien sound coming from across the hall. She always knew when he was coming, Donna remembers that too.
His trainers squeak on the hospital floor and he doesn’t look a day older since she last saw him. She wonders how she looked when he saw her last, maybe just two hours ago, maybe a week.
The Doctor stops at the edge of her bed and takes her hand in his. Donna smiles and he does the same. The air changes, there is strange warmth in it and Donna feels her body changing, feels the strength and knowledge and immediately knows that this was his plan all along.
She plans on scolding him for it later. When the TARDIS would be her home once again, when she will be there among the stars and this time, there won’t be anything pulling her back. And Donna knows that eventually, she will thank him and sometimes, sometimes she might even understand.
Author: karlamartinova
Fandom/Character(s)/Pairing(s): Doctor Who (Ten/Donna)
Genre: General
Rating: PG
Words: 1 008
Challenge/Prompt: Challenge 09: The pens are made for writing / Style: No dialogue @ fictionland
AN: I missed writing Donna :)
.
All her life Donna felt his presence. Since she was a little girl, there was someone in the background, someone looking out for her. At first, she drew him as an angel with large white wings. His face was always hidden by something, a tree, car or telephone booth. Later Donna realized that she just didn’t remember it.
It was a voice in her head, a hand that pulled her from the crossing the street when there was a drunk driver that later killed her childhood friend. Sometimes it was just a slight tremor in her hand when a decision needed to be made, but he was always with her.
When Donna is older, old enough to forget to buy milk and remember things that her children couldn’t know, she starts to draw again. A man in brown pinstripe suit and spiky hair, she knows his name now.
She was nineteen when she had met him for the first time, attending the college with a head full of dreams. He was clever, oh, how he was clever. He told her about galaxies and wonders of the universe and when Donna didn’t believe him, he touched her hand and the world exploded behind her eyes.
She remembers the forgetting too. Remembers his hands on her temples, remembers his soothing voice and Donna knows she was afraid then, but now is just a treasured memory. One that resurfaced and one she wasn’t ready to let go.
John had kept coming back, kept turning up at times when Donna didn’t even know she needed him. He had been her shoulder when her first boyfriend broke up with her, when he professor told her that being a temp is the most she can ever accomplish. John had told her she was brilliant many, many times and Donna never believed him. He told her she would be once the most important woman in the universe and she, in her naivety, understood him in very different manner.
It had ended with a sloppy kiss and lots of apologies. Donna thought that he wouldn’t come back. He did and it was all back. Talks, walks, hugs. But something changes, those hugs were slightly longer and when they parted, there was a sad feeling in his eyes. Like it was the last time he sees her and Donna wanted to touch his cheek, reassure him that she wasn’t going anywhere.
Years flew by, Donna finished her college and started temping. John had been there to celebrate her first job, helped her move to her first flat and she never ever wondered where he was, when he wasn’t comfortably sitting on her couch.
Donna never asked and only now she realized that it was his doing too.
John stopped her questions without her knowing it; he came and left whenever he wanted. And Donna built her own life with him as a constant part of it. She never introduced him to her friends, never talked about him and now she remembers quiet evenings when she thought he was just her imagination, her fight against loneliness.
Now, with medication more memories resurfaced. Donna remembers asking him questions he didn’t like; questions that made him look away from her. She remembers being persistent. Then she remembers the kiss. The desperate way he held her, crushed her with his arms. John whispered to her a prayer and when Donna closes her eyes, she could hear his voice in her mind.
She supposes she should feel betrayed. He had stolen her memories, made her forget such important parts of her life, erased herself from her life like she didn’t have any say in it. But she doesn’t its coming all back to her now. And her life isn’t sad and empty anymore, it’s like all of sudden someone changed the film.
The monitors beep loudly and Donna closes her eyes, feels a building headache behind her eyelids. It hurts, it hurts so much, but it’s a good pain. It means that more is too come, more to see and remember.
Next day is a creature from stone in the morning and a planet made from sapphires in the evening. Donna doesn’t remember her family entering and leaving, she remembers lots and lots of running and John, no, not John, the Doctor, holding her hand and pulling her though an ancient looking market.
She doesn’t know that her daughter kissed her cheek just before she left the room, because she is on an alien space ship saving the world from an invasion and it’s his voice telling her what to do.
Then she remembers the end, her pleading voice and the horrible feeling of forgetting and she feels angry all of sudden but then she remembers more and the anger vanishes as quick as it came. She is back and her room is empty. It unfamiliar and Donna realized she didn’t know how she got there, didn’t remember the flowers in her nightstand and the smell in the air.
She closes her eyes, breathes in and smiles when there is that alien sound coming from across the hall. She always knew when he was coming, Donna remembers that too.
His trainers squeak on the hospital floor and he doesn’t look a day older since she last saw him. She wonders how she looked when he saw her last, maybe just two hours ago, maybe a week.
The Doctor stops at the edge of her bed and takes her hand in his. Donna smiles and he does the same. The air changes, there is strange warmth in it and Donna feels her body changing, feels the strength and knowledge and immediately knows that this was his plan all along.
She plans on scolding him for it later. When the TARDIS would be her home once again, when she will be there among the stars and this time, there won’t be anything pulling her back. And Donna knows that eventually, she will thank him and sometimes, sometimes she might even understand.