Fic: the collapsed feeling under your skin (TBBT)
Title: the collapsed feeling under your skin
Author: karlamartinova
Fandom/Character(s)/Pairing(s): The Big Bang Theory// Sheldon/Penny
Genre: Angst
Rating: PG
Words: 1 120
Challenge/Prompt: Challenge 09: The pens are made for writing / Prompt: Quote: “No matter how careful you are, there's going to be the sense you missed something, the collapsed feeling under your skin that you didn't experience it all. There's that fallen heart feeling that you rushed right through the moments where you should've been paying attention.” -Chuck Palahniuk @ fictionland
AN: A future fic with a slight spoilers for season 3.
.
He won a Nobel, of course he did. It was something expected, required even. No, no one ever told him that he has to, but he knew it any way. They expected it.
“Congratulations again, Dr. Cooper, it is truly an honour that you are considering to work for me,” the man stretched his hand toward him and someone long ago taught Sheldon to always take it. “It´s decorum, sweetie.”
Sheldon looked at the man, Roger Miller, and smiled politely. “When someone offers you money, you need to be polite.”
“Thank you, Mr. Miller. It would an honour to work for your company. Your achievements on the field of nanotechnology are quite legendary in my circles,” he told him, holding his head high. She taught him that too.
Sheldon never wanted to end like this. To be a figure for someone to show off with but he accomplished so much, he could choose any university, yet this man and his offer was the only one he ever considered. It meant freedom. He could choose anyone to work with, any place and any kind of equipment.
“I heard that you aren’t talking nonsense. Welcome to my company,” Miller said and stopped the nearest waiter taking two champagne glasses from him. “To our friendship,” he toasted and Sheldon felt like snorting.
He didn’t take friendship lightly and there was a time where friends were the most important part of his life. But he didn’t know what he had till he didn’t lose it.
His work, his accomplishments were more important, the most important and he didn’t see the end of something that never really begin.
Penny broke up with Leonard, Leonard didn’t talk to Penny. Penny moved out, made a career. Leonard found a girl, got married and moved out too. Suddenly, Sheldon was alone. They all moved on with their lives different way he did.
They all had family, he had Nobel.
Sheldon didn’t know how bitter could regret taste. Some days, it was just too much and he sat in empty apartment putting takeout on five different plates. It never helped.
He took sip of his champagne, felt the sweet taste on his tongue. Miller smiled at him and then turned when the whole hall became quiet.
Sheldon looked over his head and could only see a gold fabric and people moving to the side. Someone was coming and even though he didn’t see her face properly, Sheldon’s heart knew that his past followed him here today.
“Penelope, I’m glad you could make it,” Miller greeted the blonde woman and kissed her loudly on the mouth. (She’s mine.)
She didn’t see him yet and Sheldon felt like running. He wasn’t prepared and he knew he should know that but he never paid attention to tabloids. It would be there written with big black letters, “Movie Star Penelope La Fountain Dating a Billionaire”.
Miller turned back to him and Sheldon felt the exact moment Penny saw him. The burning feeling on his skin whenever she was close enough returned, her small gasp of surprise whenever he surprised her with something was the same too.
“Sheldon,” she whispered her hand already halfway to touch his.
“Penny,” he acknowledged her and hated himself for the small catch in his voice. She heard it too, he could tell from her look.
“I didn’t realize you two knew,” Miller said evidently surprised and both of them knew he was waiting for the story, for an explanation but no one cared.
“I will tell you later, Roger. I didn’t see Sheldon for too long to waste any time with stories,” her voice was sweet as ever, but there was a hint of something that told him that Penny didn’t want to be here as much as he did.
She grabbed his elbow and pulled him toward the nearest corner from the curious ears of her boyfriend.
“You don’t want to be here,” he said as a fact and she smiled. She didn’t look a day older from the time he saw her last. She had been standing in the hall with the last bag in her hand. It was the first time, when his body relaxed while touching someone else’s.
“Neither do you. Do you want to grab a hamburger; there is a small restaurant just across the street. Penny-approved,” she grinned and he couldn’t help but do the same. It was her who made him question his choices and pushed him as far from his comfort zone as possible.
“I must say I am quite hungry,” Sheldon said and welcomed the warmth that slipped into his hand along with hers.
Many people paid them attention when they left the hall but they both ignored them. There was too much unsaid between them, too much left unfinished.
The restaurant was empty and the owner sent toward Penny a huge smile.
“So, tell me, Sheldon. What were you up to all that time,” she asked as soon as they were seated in the small saloon that hid them from the view. It was cosy and nice and he realized he didn’t feel this way since Penny moved from 4B.
“I won Nobel,” he said because it was the answer they all wanted. It was the one always wanted to tell. That he was perfectly happy achieving all his dreams, that he didn’t mind being all alone in it.
She laughed because it was Penny he was talking too and then she leant forward and took his hands in hers. It was her look that scared him the most.
“And it’s everything you ever want it to be?” the question would be innocent from someone else. It would mean they expect a clear “yes” followed by the person telling them about his/hers perfect life.
But this was Penny, Penny who taught him how to be human, how to make pancakes with smiley faces, how to varnish nails and buy the right gift for a friend. This was the woman he almost thanked at the accepting speech, the woman he wanted to kiss so many years ago but never really did.
Sheldon wanted to change that now.
“No,” he whispered and her eyes softened. She leant over the table and kissed his cheek, made his heart almost stop and then start again.
Sheldon felt different after that, he felt like those seven years ago when she told him he could be better.
“Do you want to go back?” he asked and Penny knew exactly what he meant. They always communicated without others really noticing.
“No,” she said, a small smile playing at the corner of her lips.
Sheldon wanted to kiss it away. He felt brave enough now.
Author: karlamartinova
Fandom/Character(s)/Pairing(s): The Big Bang Theory// Sheldon/Penny
Genre: Angst
Rating: PG
Words: 1 120
Challenge/Prompt: Challenge 09: The pens are made for writing / Prompt: Quote: “No matter how careful you are, there's going to be the sense you missed something, the collapsed feeling under your skin that you didn't experience it all. There's that fallen heart feeling that you rushed right through the moments where you should've been paying attention.” -Chuck Palahniuk @ fictionland
AN: A future fic with a slight spoilers for season 3.
.
He won a Nobel, of course he did. It was something expected, required even. No, no one ever told him that he has to, but he knew it any way. They expected it.
“Congratulations again, Dr. Cooper, it is truly an honour that you are considering to work for me,” the man stretched his hand toward him and someone long ago taught Sheldon to always take it. “It´s decorum, sweetie.”
Sheldon looked at the man, Roger Miller, and smiled politely. “When someone offers you money, you need to be polite.”
“Thank you, Mr. Miller. It would an honour to work for your company. Your achievements on the field of nanotechnology are quite legendary in my circles,” he told him, holding his head high. She taught him that too.
Sheldon never wanted to end like this. To be a figure for someone to show off with but he accomplished so much, he could choose any university, yet this man and his offer was the only one he ever considered. It meant freedom. He could choose anyone to work with, any place and any kind of equipment.
“I heard that you aren’t talking nonsense. Welcome to my company,” Miller said and stopped the nearest waiter taking two champagne glasses from him. “To our friendship,” he toasted and Sheldon felt like snorting.
He didn’t take friendship lightly and there was a time where friends were the most important part of his life. But he didn’t know what he had till he didn’t lose it.
His work, his accomplishments were more important, the most important and he didn’t see the end of something that never really begin.
Penny broke up with Leonard, Leonard didn’t talk to Penny. Penny moved out, made a career. Leonard found a girl, got married and moved out too. Suddenly, Sheldon was alone. They all moved on with their lives different way he did.
They all had family, he had Nobel.
Sheldon didn’t know how bitter could regret taste. Some days, it was just too much and he sat in empty apartment putting takeout on five different plates. It never helped.
He took sip of his champagne, felt the sweet taste on his tongue. Miller smiled at him and then turned when the whole hall became quiet.
Sheldon looked over his head and could only see a gold fabric and people moving to the side. Someone was coming and even though he didn’t see her face properly, Sheldon’s heart knew that his past followed him here today.
“Penelope, I’m glad you could make it,” Miller greeted the blonde woman and kissed her loudly on the mouth. (She’s mine.)
She didn’t see him yet and Sheldon felt like running. He wasn’t prepared and he knew he should know that but he never paid attention to tabloids. It would be there written with big black letters, “Movie Star Penelope La Fountain Dating a Billionaire”.
Miller turned back to him and Sheldon felt the exact moment Penny saw him. The burning feeling on his skin whenever she was close enough returned, her small gasp of surprise whenever he surprised her with something was the same too.
“Sheldon,” she whispered her hand already halfway to touch his.
“Penny,” he acknowledged her and hated himself for the small catch in his voice. She heard it too, he could tell from her look.
“I didn’t realize you two knew,” Miller said evidently surprised and both of them knew he was waiting for the story, for an explanation but no one cared.
“I will tell you later, Roger. I didn’t see Sheldon for too long to waste any time with stories,” her voice was sweet as ever, but there was a hint of something that told him that Penny didn’t want to be here as much as he did.
She grabbed his elbow and pulled him toward the nearest corner from the curious ears of her boyfriend.
“You don’t want to be here,” he said as a fact and she smiled. She didn’t look a day older from the time he saw her last. She had been standing in the hall with the last bag in her hand. It was the first time, when his body relaxed while touching someone else’s.
“Neither do you. Do you want to grab a hamburger; there is a small restaurant just across the street. Penny-approved,” she grinned and he couldn’t help but do the same. It was her who made him question his choices and pushed him as far from his comfort zone as possible.
“I must say I am quite hungry,” Sheldon said and welcomed the warmth that slipped into his hand along with hers.
Many people paid them attention when they left the hall but they both ignored them. There was too much unsaid between them, too much left unfinished.
The restaurant was empty and the owner sent toward Penny a huge smile.
“So, tell me, Sheldon. What were you up to all that time,” she asked as soon as they were seated in the small saloon that hid them from the view. It was cosy and nice and he realized he didn’t feel this way since Penny moved from 4B.
“I won Nobel,” he said because it was the answer they all wanted. It was the one always wanted to tell. That he was perfectly happy achieving all his dreams, that he didn’t mind being all alone in it.
She laughed because it was Penny he was talking too and then she leant forward and took his hands in hers. It was her look that scared him the most.
“And it’s everything you ever want it to be?” the question would be innocent from someone else. It would mean they expect a clear “yes” followed by the person telling them about his/hers perfect life.
But this was Penny, Penny who taught him how to be human, how to make pancakes with smiley faces, how to varnish nails and buy the right gift for a friend. This was the woman he almost thanked at the accepting speech, the woman he wanted to kiss so many years ago but never really did.
Sheldon wanted to change that now.
“No,” he whispered and her eyes softened. She leant over the table and kissed his cheek, made his heart almost stop and then start again.
Sheldon felt different after that, he felt like those seven years ago when she told him he could be better.
“Do you want to go back?” he asked and Penny knew exactly what he meant. They always communicated without others really noticing.
“No,” she said, a small smile playing at the corner of her lips.
Sheldon wanted to kiss it away. He felt brave enough now.