I can feel it
I can feel it coming.. like that Daft Punk song. I was brought into Patrick's life to get him back on the "right" path. He's going to move to Seattle. He needs to move to Seattle. It's been amazing. It's been beautiful. Better than I could ever have imagined. I'm so grateful to the universe for this moment in time. It was amazing. It was fantastic. It was life changing.
He's going to love it. He's going to be highly successful. He's going to kick ass and take names. And I'm going to be so freaking happy for him. <3
The truth is, I don't want to leave Colorado. I kinda love being so close my parents and my family. There's no such thing as perfect timing, but I don't have a huge desire to change my current situation. Even for love. I know that's not romantic. It's fucking logical. I have a job. I have a house. I have my family. I have it all. Except love. A love that moving to Seattle. Life is short. Ian would tell me to go. But I've done that so many times and it never ends well. NEVER. I'm done doing things for other people.
He HAS to go. And he SHOULD go. So he will. We'll stay friends. He'll find someone awesome.. or in a year, maybe I'll move. :( I don't really wanna though. Getting a little teary eyed thinking about it, but this is the way it's supposed to be. The Universe wants me to be in love with myself... and that's not a bad thing. Accepting I'm here for others and not myself is hard though. There are times when I am here for me and it's fabulous, but the overall feeling is I'm here for others.
I get so much joy from giving joy to others. It's my calling. It's what makes my heart sing. :) I can't foretell the future, but I have a feeling... I just know this is how this is gonna work out. I will miss him, but it's gonna be ok. I know it will.