Day 4
I cried today. I don't even remember why. I guess it doesn't really matter. I should just let the feelings overwhelm me.
I reconnected with some old friends who I haven't seen in many years and it's been awesome. It's also made me realize how much you can change but still be the same. They are really cool and I'm sad we lost touch. I guess the glue that kept us together went away, so we all went out separate ways. Life really is an incredible journey. You never know what's going to happen. Would you really want to? Doesn't that take away the fun?
These friends are also complete outsiders to the last 10 years, so it was really good to hear a different opinion on what's happening with me. They don't know Brian. They've never met him. But they do believe he could change. Instead of just divorcing, perhaps some time away. A break. Brian suggested that too. Spend lots of time apart to give real perspective. It's a distinct possibility he could actually realize I'm just not the right person for him. It's true I don't know if I'll ever trust him again. Time might allow me to see if that's true. The vast majority of my friends want me to rip the band-aid off and just be done, but is it really that easy after 6 years? Like Bye Felicia? I don't know. But it's good to have a differing opinion.
I'm going to Colorado. I bought a one way ticket. I leave on Friday and I'm excited to spend time with my family. It will be nice to get away.
Also, I found out I can't actually get divorced because I haven't lived in California for the last 6 months and cannot prove residency. Lame. So tomorrow I get to look up exactly where I can get a quickie divorce. I keep hearing Nevada. Someone said you only have to live there for 6 weeks.
Lots to think about. I'm super tired, so I'm going to bed. Hopefully tomorrow will be bring more clarity, but I know this is going to be a long, slow process.
I reconnected with some old friends who I haven't seen in many years and it's been awesome. It's also made me realize how much you can change but still be the same. They are really cool and I'm sad we lost touch. I guess the glue that kept us together went away, so we all went out separate ways. Life really is an incredible journey. You never know what's going to happen. Would you really want to? Doesn't that take away the fun?
These friends are also complete outsiders to the last 10 years, so it was really good to hear a different opinion on what's happening with me. They don't know Brian. They've never met him. But they do believe he could change. Instead of just divorcing, perhaps some time away. A break. Brian suggested that too. Spend lots of time apart to give real perspective. It's a distinct possibility he could actually realize I'm just not the right person for him. It's true I don't know if I'll ever trust him again. Time might allow me to see if that's true. The vast majority of my friends want me to rip the band-aid off and just be done, but is it really that easy after 6 years? Like Bye Felicia? I don't know. But it's good to have a differing opinion.
I'm going to Colorado. I bought a one way ticket. I leave on Friday and I'm excited to spend time with my family. It will be nice to get away.
Also, I found out I can't actually get divorced because I haven't lived in California for the last 6 months and cannot prove residency. Lame. So tomorrow I get to look up exactly where I can get a quickie divorce. I keep hearing Nevada. Someone said you only have to live there for 6 weeks.
Lots to think about. I'm super tired, so I'm going to bed. Hopefully tomorrow will be bring more clarity, but I know this is going to be a long, slow process.