goodbye yellow brick road
Isn't there some saying about how you spend the last day of the year is how you'll spend the new year? I really hope that's not true, because I'm spending the last day of 2017 wallowing in self-pity. I had a giant anxiety attack last night in bed, and today I'm all tears.
All in all, I've been doing better than years past. At least I've been doing more. Lots of guitar and singing and songwriting and performing. I recorded in an actual studio a song I wrote, and it's on an actual CD. I haven't written anything in a while though (I've never known for sure if "a while" should be two words or one).
I've been struggling a bit. I'm still off medications and out of bed and seeing my therapist. I'm at a point where I'm believing that this is as good as I can be, although my therapist says differently.
I wish I knew what I wanted my 2018 to look like. I do know I'm at my happiest in the mountains, in the woods. Maybe that's a goal.