What the hell...
I think it prudent to say, first, that I condoned everything that has gone on though I still feel uneasy about it.
KJ stayed out all night last night. I told him he could, and he offered to come home, but I knew that since it was 4-20, he would probably not want to leave or would not be able to. Since I don't smoke, he often does not have someone to share this experience with. Taz moved from next door to some other city - with a girl... So, KJ is left to smoke alone.
I was going to be able to enjoy some time alone and get some solitude - right? That's what I initially thought, however... As the night trudged forward, it became apparent that he was not coming home and we have no phone and no Taz to rely upon for communication so I was left to worry. Needless thing, really - or is it. See, he was out with Amy, a really cool, cute chick that KJ used to have a crush on, and she on him... Some cause to worry...
To me, she is the perfect match for KJ. They both have the same attitude of life, they both have the same aspirations for themselves, they are around the same age and they are attracted to each other. She is also a very strait-thinker (black and white, just like KJ).
I trust KJ, but I suddenly feel out of place. I don't want him to feel trapped in this relationship. Maybe I will just make myself more self-reliant and let him know that he is free to make his own choices to make himself happy and ultimately, I can take care of myself.
I don't want him to be bound to a grow-up life, and a child, before he is ready. I am working toward moving into a place where Devin will be able to live. I wonder how that will work with KJ. He loves Devin. KJs anxiety does not effect Devin the way it does me. Devin is strong and well-prepared for his age.
Mostly, I just want KJ to be happy, truly happy. Even if that means without me.
KJ stayed out all night last night. I told him he could, and he offered to come home, but I knew that since it was 4-20, he would probably not want to leave or would not be able to. Since I don't smoke, he often does not have someone to share this experience with. Taz moved from next door to some other city - with a girl... So, KJ is left to smoke alone.
I was going to be able to enjoy some time alone and get some solitude - right? That's what I initially thought, however... As the night trudged forward, it became apparent that he was not coming home and we have no phone and no Taz to rely upon for communication so I was left to worry. Needless thing, really - or is it. See, he was out with Amy, a really cool, cute chick that KJ used to have a crush on, and she on him... Some cause to worry...
To me, she is the perfect match for KJ. They both have the same attitude of life, they both have the same aspirations for themselves, they are around the same age and they are attracted to each other. She is also a very strait-thinker (black and white, just like KJ).
I trust KJ, but I suddenly feel out of place. I don't want him to feel trapped in this relationship. Maybe I will just make myself more self-reliant and let him know that he is free to make his own choices to make himself happy and ultimately, I can take care of myself.
I don't want him to be bound to a grow-up life, and a child, before he is ready. I am working toward moving into a place where Devin will be able to live. I wonder how that will work with KJ. He loves Devin. KJs anxiety does not effect Devin the way it does me. Devin is strong and well-prepared for his age.
Mostly, I just want KJ to be happy, truly happy. Even if that means without me.