The promise was when everything fell, we'd be held
"New Mommy"
she pulled the mug from the cabinet, wanting to show it to me.
"she gave this to me after i had sarah. i didnt know what to say when she handed it over"
i smile
"i didnt know the first thing about being a mom. i was so scared that i was going to mess up, clip sarah's nails to short, get shampoo in her eyes. i remember one night, sarah would not stop crying. billy was gone and i was all alone. i called your mom, and she made me put sarah up to the phone. just by listening to her cry, she knew what was wrong. so when i went back to work, she was the one and only person i would let watch sarah."
i remember
"and she never let me pay her, not once. even when your mother was going through chemotherapy treatments, she would hold sarah until she fell asleep. karen would never let that child go"
This is what it means to be held.
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive.
This is what it is to be loved.
And to know that the promise was
When everything fell we’d be held.