when you say "best friends" means friends forever
They say you need to pray
if you want to go to heaven
But they don't tell you what to say
when your whole life has gone to Hell
Everyone's caught on to everything you do
Everyone's caught on to...
& I can't let you let me down again
I need someone to talk to. Someone to listen to me. It's sad though. I've lost trust in everyone. Except Erin and she's busy and worrying about other things. I don't want to be a burden on her. I had such a horrible day. No one cares. I know. But it was pretty bad. We had an assembly today and the whole time I was thinking I couldn't sit with any of my friends because there was someone who didn't like me or I didn't like them mixed in. So I sat with Carly, Josh, and Dave and made Brandon Schraeder suffer. I don't hate him so he can deal. Brandon R sat with Josh and Chris and yea. So that wouldn't have worked. A bunch of my other friends I would have gone and sat with were sitting on the other side and then I saw Brian. It was like everywhere I looked, there were people who hated me. I feel so hated. So alone. Like everyone in our school hates me or something. I don't know. Or at least it feels like it. This is just the beginning and I don't think I can take much more of this. I don't think anyone understands how much it really does hurt. Oh wait. No one would know because I can't trust anyone enough to tell them how I feel. You know, the major reasons I can't deal with stuff. The one person I thought would understand...nevermind. I'm not even going to start with that.
I can't trust people anymore after everything that's going on. Other people are gonna have to suffer and it's not their fault, it's mine. Oh well. Not like you cared then, not like you'll care now. Anyway. I thought the worst was over. I just keep falling. Things just get worse. It's out of my hands now. I don't care. Well I know I care, but there's notthing I can do anymore. I'm sick of trying. I feel like I'm talking to a total stranger because they probably would understand more. I don't know you anymore. I don't know me anymore. I don't know what I'm talking about anymore.
Hey look! I talked to one of my old best friends today. That was fun. You know the one who hated me for no reason in 8th grade and now we're friends for the fun of it. Yay for Megan Lazzaro. That whole friendship was full of shadiness though. It's okay. I knew it. Well atleast I'm on good terms with someone now. Why do I suck so bad at keeping friends for long time periods? I have Chris Coy from 5th grade and Brandon since 8th-9thish. That's it. Forever's such a bullshit word I've decided.
On top of all this, I found out that I most likely will never get to play soccer this year. Maybe not even run now. It's like this year is just getting worse and worse for me. It's like...hey there goes Karin, how can we ruin her day some more today? oh let's throw a whole bunch of bullshit at her and then add some more stress...make her feel sick to her stomach and cry a lot. Sounds like a plan!
As if it happening wasn't enough
I got to go and write a song
just to remind myself how bad it sucked...
if you want to go to heaven
But they don't tell you what to say
when your whole life has gone to Hell
Everyone's caught on to everything you do
Everyone's caught on to...
& I can't let you let me down again
I need someone to talk to. Someone to listen to me. It's sad though. I've lost trust in everyone. Except Erin and she's busy and worrying about other things. I don't want to be a burden on her. I had such a horrible day. No one cares. I know. But it was pretty bad. We had an assembly today and the whole time I was thinking I couldn't sit with any of my friends because there was someone who didn't like me or I didn't like them mixed in. So I sat with Carly, Josh, and Dave and made Brandon Schraeder suffer. I don't hate him so he can deal. Brandon R sat with Josh and Chris and yea. So that wouldn't have worked. A bunch of my other friends I would have gone and sat with were sitting on the other side and then I saw Brian. It was like everywhere I looked, there were people who hated me. I feel so hated. So alone. Like everyone in our school hates me or something. I don't know. Or at least it feels like it. This is just the beginning and I don't think I can take much more of this. I don't think anyone understands how much it really does hurt. Oh wait. No one would know because I can't trust anyone enough to tell them how I feel. You know, the major reasons I can't deal with stuff. The one person I thought would understand...nevermind. I'm not even going to start with that.
I can't trust people anymore after everything that's going on. Other people are gonna have to suffer and it's not their fault, it's mine. Oh well. Not like you cared then, not like you'll care now. Anyway. I thought the worst was over. I just keep falling. Things just get worse. It's out of my hands now. I don't care. Well I know I care, but there's notthing I can do anymore. I'm sick of trying. I feel like I'm talking to a total stranger because they probably would understand more. I don't know you anymore. I don't know me anymore. I don't know what I'm talking about anymore.
Hey look! I talked to one of my old best friends today. That was fun. You know the one who hated me for no reason in 8th grade and now we're friends for the fun of it. Yay for Megan Lazzaro. That whole friendship was full of shadiness though. It's okay. I knew it. Well atleast I'm on good terms with someone now. Why do I suck so bad at keeping friends for long time periods? I have Chris Coy from 5th grade and Brandon since 8th-9thish. That's it. Forever's such a bullshit word I've decided.
On top of all this, I found out that I most likely will never get to play soccer this year. Maybe not even run now. It's like this year is just getting worse and worse for me. It's like...hey there goes Karin, how can we ruin her day some more today? oh let's throw a whole bunch of bullshit at her and then add some more stress...make her feel sick to her stomach and cry a lot. Sounds like a plan!
As if it happening wasn't enough
I got to go and write a song
just to remind myself how bad it sucked...