my god
I'm dying here, really. I CANNOT stop laughing. It's inevitable that surfing TVTropes will lead to uncovering amusing links, but this seriously takes the cake.
I ended up on this scathing review of literally the worst example of "erotica" and/or "romance" that may have ever been written in the history of ever. Sweet Jesus I can't believe the author got paid for this crap.
Seriously. SO. BAD.
This color is the review, this color is actual excerpts from the book. The book someone was somehow paid to write.
For her birthday, Louise Jackson is dragged to Medieval Worlds: Dinner and Tournament by her best friend. Deciding the wait for the woman’s bathroom is too long, Louise slips into the men’s room in hopes of relieving herself quickly. There she is assailed by the stench of the men’s room and the sight of the gorgeous man at the urinal:
And the sight of the huge cock the knight is holding in his right hand as he shakes off the last few drops of pee is even more dazzling.
The sight is so dazzling that Loiuse’s pee dries up and is replaced with moist desire.
I don’t need to pee any more. Now I just need to get laid.
The knight gives me a knowing smile, and jiggles his giant cock in my direction. “You look like a fair maiden in need of a good visit from the codpiece,” he says.
Frankly, I don’t know of any visual more attractive or seductive than a guy dressed like a knight in a tacky dinner theatre waving his post pee schwizzle stick around. Louise is clearly a woman of discerning taste.
That's not even the worst of it. No, really, it's gets even more ridiculous. The Knight's name is Verdigris, there's a little action involving 'spinning around on his codpiece like a top', and a yo mama contest. No, really. NO, REALLY. And the euphemisms used are just...
I mean...I have no...I can't...
I ended up on this scathing review of literally the worst example of "erotica" and/or "romance" that may have ever been written in the history of ever. Sweet Jesus I can't believe the author got paid for this crap.
Seriously. SO. BAD.
This color is the review, this color is actual excerpts from the book. The book someone was somehow paid to write.
For her birthday, Louise Jackson is dragged to Medieval Worlds: Dinner and Tournament by her best friend. Deciding the wait for the woman’s bathroom is too long, Louise slips into the men’s room in hopes of relieving herself quickly. There she is assailed by the stench of the men’s room and the sight of the gorgeous man at the urinal:
And the sight of the huge cock the knight is holding in his right hand as he shakes off the last few drops of pee is even more dazzling.
The sight is so dazzling that Loiuse’s pee dries up and is replaced with moist desire.
I don’t need to pee any more. Now I just need to get laid.
The knight gives me a knowing smile, and jiggles his giant cock in my direction. “You look like a fair maiden in need of a good visit from the codpiece,” he says.
Frankly, I don’t know of any visual more attractive or seductive than a guy dressed like a knight in a tacky dinner theatre waving his post pee schwizzle stick around. Louise is clearly a woman of discerning taste.
That's not even the worst of it. No, really, it's gets even more ridiculous. The Knight's name is Verdigris, there's a little action involving 'spinning around on his codpiece like a top', and a yo mama contest. No, really. NO, REALLY. And the euphemisms used are just...
I mean...I have no...I can't...