who i've been hates who i am
almost two weeks ago, but what seems like an eternity, i went to lunch with a friend. the friend confronted [to use the lame term] me about some things i did, personality traits that he percieved to be purposeful actions in my day to day life. and this conversation has haunted me to this day.
i feel like i do not know who i am, or what exists around me. i make myself into what i think people want me to be, and am oh so rarely who i truly am. i wish i could sleep, i wish i could understand, i wish i knew how to be everything i have been taught to be, to take the lies and throw them out, keep the truths and apply them to what i have learned and who i have become. but instead, there is the emotionally destroyed self that doesn't know how to act, how to love, how to care, how to live.
i feel like i do not know who i am, or what exists around me. i make myself into what i think people want me to be, and am oh so rarely who i truly am. i wish i could sleep, i wish i could understand, i wish i knew how to be everything i have been taught to be, to take the lies and throw them out, keep the truths and apply them to what i have learned and who i have become. but instead, there is the emotionally destroyed self that doesn't know how to act, how to love, how to care, how to live.