(no subject)
It's a good thing this is Talk Like a Pirate Day, otherwise this wouldn't make any sense.
---------------
YAAAAAAR!!
Curse you Edward Marrrr-tinez, and your crew of lily-livered landlubbers! Yer twenty-minute dry dock twas a cowardly falsehood, ye have damaged my ship, the Blue Saturn, and you will pay!
Verily, she was damaged before I brought her to your foul waters, but I had lovingly repaired her with my own hand and hook, and she has carried me smartly since through all manner of storm and calm, throughout the seven seas, yea even down the treacherous Straits of the Juan O'Juan.
So after ye kept me waiting long with yer round butterfaced wench, I was enraged to see that MY vessel, the fair Blue Saturn, had her port side mirror stove in! I spoke with the knave who dared impugn my fine repair, who said that while swabbing the vessel, it just fell to his feet. LIES! The Blue Saturn is a sound and seaworthy vessel, and my repairs have carried me and my crew through all manner of peril without so much as a wobble from the rudder!
Had I my broadsword, I would have slit him from his lying throat, through his bloated whale-belly to his flaccid and cankerous hornpipe! THEN, you, Captain Marrrr-tinez, had the gall to suggest I take a COUPON for my troubles, whereas I suggested politely that you go roger your first mate arseways.
From the looks of yer harbor, ye wouldn't know such a fine vessel if it fell out of the skies upon the whole lot of you! I will spend my daylight hours repairing the Blue Saturn right and proper, but a pox upon you! May yer wenches be plague-ridden and your hard tack full of worms! May you stay on land as long as you live. Ye offered me a coupon for my next dry dock but HA! I spit on your coupon, and Satan himself will be up to his arse in snow before the Blue Saturn plies your polluted waters again, or my name be not
Captain Kar3n the Numeric, the Pirate Queen.
---------------
YAAAAAAR!!
Curse you Edward Marrrr-tinez, and your crew of lily-livered landlubbers! Yer twenty-minute dry dock twas a cowardly falsehood, ye have damaged my ship, the Blue Saturn, and you will pay!
Verily, she was damaged before I brought her to your foul waters, but I had lovingly repaired her with my own hand and hook, and she has carried me smartly since through all manner of storm and calm, throughout the seven seas, yea even down the treacherous Straits of the Juan O'Juan.
So after ye kept me waiting long with yer round butterfaced wench, I was enraged to see that MY vessel, the fair Blue Saturn, had her port side mirror stove in! I spoke with the knave who dared impugn my fine repair, who said that while swabbing the vessel, it just fell to his feet. LIES! The Blue Saturn is a sound and seaworthy vessel, and my repairs have carried me and my crew through all manner of peril without so much as a wobble from the rudder!
Had I my broadsword, I would have slit him from his lying throat, through his bloated whale-belly to his flaccid and cankerous hornpipe! THEN, you, Captain Marrrr-tinez, had the gall to suggest I take a COUPON for my troubles, whereas I suggested politely that you go roger your first mate arseways.
From the looks of yer harbor, ye wouldn't know such a fine vessel if it fell out of the skies upon the whole lot of you! I will spend my daylight hours repairing the Blue Saturn right and proper, but a pox upon you! May yer wenches be plague-ridden and your hard tack full of worms! May you stay on land as long as you live. Ye offered me a coupon for my next dry dock but HA! I spit on your coupon, and Satan himself will be up to his arse in snow before the Blue Saturn plies your polluted waters again, or my name be not
Captain Kar3n the Numeric, the Pirate Queen.