(no subject)

[kar11]

if it were warmer out, and if i weren't afraid of what might be out there, i'd go for a loooong walk in the bluffs, get as far away from campus as i could, and scream. i've never felt so many different negative emotions all at once. well i'm sure i have, but not in a really long time. i feel so angry, hurt, and betrayed, and there's nothing i can do about it. i almost punched the shower wall, but i'm sure that would've broken my hand and/or wrist. i was organizing my clothes and cleaning my room, but that got really hard once sara went to bed. the rac isn't open, otherwise i'd go for another run. i could do abs, but i just drank a toooon of water, so that wouldn't feel very good. i should do my homework, but i do not have the motivation for that right now. i'm so angry. i haven't been legitimately angry in a long time. i've been frustrated and upset and maybe a little angry, but it hasn't been the overall emotion. i feel shaky and restless and definitely don't want to go to sleep. i have a huge adrenaline rush going, and i feel like i could just explode. and i have to wait for answers. i HATE that.

ugh i need to DO something