Who Would Have Thought?
I have been to Oldham County, KY 3 times in the last 8 days. Here's what I did:
Friday: went to the La Grange Penitentary to visit my father with my Grandmother. He has lung cancer. I still don't know how I feel about this. The man is my father, but he's in prison for trying to kill me. Among other things, of course. I decided I needed a "feel-good" moment afterwards, so I went and visited some old family friends that live in Pewee Valley, who are called the Elliots. I stayed until mid-Saturday afternoon chilling with them. There are 11 children in that house, all younger than 9. These kids, whom I only see maybe twice a year, were crawling all over me, asking me permission to do stuff, and listening to me when I told them to be quiet. That was odd.
Wednesday: My sister Maggie graduated high school on Tuesday, and my Grandmother came to the event. Wednesday I took her back home. She lives about three minutes from the Elliots, so I was in the same neighborhood. Visited with her until 2:00-ish, then went and visited my Uncle Adam, who lives in La Grange, about five minutes from the prison. Deja-vu. Chilled until about 8:00. There are three kids in THIS house. These kids, whom I only see maybe three times a year, were crawling all over me, asking me permission to do stuff, and listening to me when I told them to be quiet. Wait a minute.....
Saturday: Went back to my Uncle Adam's for a Bar-B-Que cook-out thing, with both my sisters and Maggie's little boyfriend. Was there until 5:00. The partygoers brought their kids, so there were approximately 8 kids. These kids, whom I have never met before, along with my three cousins whom I see maybe three times a year, were crawling all over me, asking me permission to do stuff, and listening to me when I told them to be quiet. A pattern emerges!
Apparently, against my wishes and better judgement, children love me. Not to mention that at all three shindigs, different people told me that I'd make a great father. What the fuck? Me? Are you people high? Out of all the bitter and cynical bastards that roam the earth you think I would be a good father? Oddly enough, the more I think about it, the more I think they're on to something. I am, somehow, great with kids. Perhaps something to do with the radiant glory of my very presence (pause for snickering).
Anyhoo, the point of this particular convoluted rambling: I'm beginning to think that sometime in the next five years or so, I should settle down and spawn a legion of hellish minions...uuumm, I meant....have a couple of kids.
Does this frighten anyone else as much as it does me?
Friday: went to the La Grange Penitentary to visit my father with my Grandmother. He has lung cancer. I still don't know how I feel about this. The man is my father, but he's in prison for trying to kill me. Among other things, of course. I decided I needed a "feel-good" moment afterwards, so I went and visited some old family friends that live in Pewee Valley, who are called the Elliots. I stayed until mid-Saturday afternoon chilling with them. There are 11 children in that house, all younger than 9. These kids, whom I only see maybe twice a year, were crawling all over me, asking me permission to do stuff, and listening to me when I told them to be quiet. That was odd.
Wednesday: My sister Maggie graduated high school on Tuesday, and my Grandmother came to the event. Wednesday I took her back home. She lives about three minutes from the Elliots, so I was in the same neighborhood. Visited with her until 2:00-ish, then went and visited my Uncle Adam, who lives in La Grange, about five minutes from the prison. Deja-vu. Chilled until about 8:00. There are three kids in THIS house. These kids, whom I only see maybe three times a year, were crawling all over me, asking me permission to do stuff, and listening to me when I told them to be quiet. Wait a minute.....
Saturday: Went back to my Uncle Adam's for a Bar-B-Que cook-out thing, with both my sisters and Maggie's little boyfriend. Was there until 5:00. The partygoers brought their kids, so there were approximately 8 kids. These kids, whom I have never met before, along with my three cousins whom I see maybe three times a year, were crawling all over me, asking me permission to do stuff, and listening to me when I told them to be quiet. A pattern emerges!
Apparently, against my wishes and better judgement, children love me. Not to mention that at all three shindigs, different people told me that I'd make a great father. What the fuck? Me? Are you people high? Out of all the bitter and cynical bastards that roam the earth you think I would be a good father? Oddly enough, the more I think about it, the more I think they're on to something. I am, somehow, great with kids. Perhaps something to do with the radiant glory of my very presence (pause for snickering).
Anyhoo, the point of this particular convoluted rambling: I'm beginning to think that sometime in the next five years or so, I should settle down and spawn a legion of hellish minions...uuumm, I meant....have a couple of kids.
Does this frighten anyone else as much as it does me?