faking confidence
The main reason I posted that confident rant to Reddit last night is because for the past few days I wasn't feeling confident at all.
I'd been thinking about how I haven't made and kept a new friend since before COVID. I'd been thinking that, no longer a supervisor, without that constant stressor in my life, I was simply more tired and sleeping more, not filling that space with anything else. With T moving back in, I was feeling like I'm suddenly too squished to add to my social life. With T moving back in, I was feeling like I won't see B on my own much anymore. With the gout and other knee problems over the past year, I was feeling less fit than I'd like to be. So, overall, I was feeling down.
In response, I had to focus on what makes me attractive, and then assert my attractiveness in some sort of public way. And, that's controversial, asserting one's own attractiveness. Showing confidence in such an explicit way. Especially as an older gay man.
I'd been thinking about how I haven't made and kept a new friend since before COVID. I'd been thinking that, no longer a supervisor, without that constant stressor in my life, I was simply more tired and sleeping more, not filling that space with anything else. With T moving back in, I was feeling like I'm suddenly too squished to add to my social life. With T moving back in, I was feeling like I won't see B on my own much anymore. With the gout and other knee problems over the past year, I was feeling less fit than I'd like to be. So, overall, I was feeling down.
In response, I had to focus on what makes me attractive, and then assert my attractiveness in some sort of public way. And, that's controversial, asserting one's own attractiveness. Showing confidence in such an explicit way. Especially as an older gay man.