ok
OK, you get to express your traumas to me, and I hear them, and I see them, and I feel them,
but I don't have lots of traumas, in my, self-description,
my self-description avoided digging lasting trenches for my trauma,
I avoided remembering exact dates to dodge anniversary effects,
I threw away choice paper memories, knowing, these would be deleted forever,
as, for my mother, I deleted her journals before my father could find them, after she died, after he went to sleep, I
I dug into my mother's filing cabinets, I knew she had journals,
I knew they were somewhere,
I found them, I read them, and then I made them disappear forever,
so my father would not find them,
But I read everything my mother wrote in her journals.
Everything.
After she died. And then I destroyed them.
but I don't have lots of traumas, in my, self-description,
my self-description avoided digging lasting trenches for my trauma,
I avoided remembering exact dates to dodge anniversary effects,
I threw away choice paper memories, knowing, these would be deleted forever,
as, for my mother, I deleted her journals before my father could find them, after she died, after he went to sleep, I
I dug into my mother's filing cabinets, I knew she had journals,
I knew they were somewhere,
I found them, I read them, and then I made them disappear forever,
so my father would not find them,
But I read everything my mother wrote in her journals.
Everything.
After she died. And then I destroyed them.