Body Image Hurdle
I'm not the same person I was the last time I went to the spanking party, I feel five years older, definitely feel larger, and haven't yet lost enough weight to think the lost weight is making me look any better,
I didn't have to work to present my body to the outside world for the past couple years, and whether that work made much of a difference or not in how I was perceived by others, it meant a lot to me,
So part of the stress I'm feeling, in addition to work and mucho Time to Self, is presenting myself to the public world again.
I've gone out to movie theaters, I went to Portland and all the stuff there, but at the spanking party I feel more judged, whether that is all inside my head or not, whether the differences I see are seen or not,
-----> there's this, I'm doing better with the weights than I have in a long time,
but I'm not doing better with the running or the mirror posing yet LOL
yet, I felt like I look good for 54, babe, but I didn't want to look 54 LOL
I didn't have to work to present my body to the outside world for the past couple years, and whether that work made much of a difference or not in how I was perceived by others, it meant a lot to me,
So part of the stress I'm feeling, in addition to work and mucho Time to Self, is presenting myself to the public world again.
I've gone out to movie theaters, I went to Portland and all the stuff there, but at the spanking party I feel more judged, whether that is all inside my head or not, whether the differences I see are seen or not,
-----> there's this, I'm doing better with the weights than I have in a long time,
but I'm not doing better with the running or the mirror posing yet LOL
yet, I felt like I look good for 54, babe, but I didn't want to look 54 LOL