I hate myself so much.....
I'm anathema. I'd forgotten that.
I'd been so determined to have a good time... and it was all in vain. In the end all I did was hurt myself again. I'm forever doing that - robbing myself and regretting it.
I won a blue ribbon. That's all. I can't go to that other competition. That's what I earned.
Is it too late to say I wish I were dead?
One day I will tear myself to shreds in the physical world because of this. One day I will. And I'll be smiling.
I'm smiling now. No one can tell I'm upset. I grin and hide as well as any of them. They can't tell that I want to scream until I can't breathe. That I want to shred my flesh until nothing is left but bones.
They can't tell.
If I'd known, I would never have gone. Never.
I'd been so determined to have a good time... and it was all in vain. In the end all I did was hurt myself again. I'm forever doing that - robbing myself and regretting it.
I won a blue ribbon. That's all. I can't go to that other competition. That's what I earned.
Is it too late to say I wish I were dead?
One day I will tear myself to shreds in the physical world because of this. One day I will. And I'll be smiling.
I'm smiling now. No one can tell I'm upset. I grin and hide as well as any of them. They can't tell that I want to scream until I can't breathe. That I want to shred my flesh until nothing is left but bones.
They can't tell.
If I'd known, I would never have gone. Never.