A rant to top off the death note.
I am irritated and in pain (I know where my ovaries are just by where the pain is most intense - and for anyone going "OMG SHE MENTIONED HER PERIOD!!!11!1one!!" might I remind you that I have long since gone through puberty and have very little shame, both being facts you really ought to know by now. Not that I really should be ashamed, since my period obviously means I am viable breeding stock and that apparently is very important to the world at large and I just went off on a tangent in parenthesis. Moving on), so this will not be a nice entry. Oh no, not by a long shot. This, dear reader, is an issue that's got my hackles up and my teeth bared, simply because I am just that bitter about it. It's a stupid issue, too! The best kind to rant about.
Now, when I say that I've been suffering from this particular bout of... angst, shall we say, since the first weekend of this month, those with good memories or a marked calendar will be the first to know what event happened that weekend, but for those who are bereft of such things I'll go ahead and tell outright: The first weekend of May was supposed to be our senior trip.
Except it wasn't.
This trip was months in the making. I was consulting and conferring with people back in, what?, March? about it: planning and working out details and making sure everyone was off work and knew where to go and could make it on time and knew what to bring, etc., etc. I invited more people to be sure that the trip wouldn't be a complete waste of time, and then made sure that they had all the information needed, knew where to go, were off work, so on.
Let it be known first of all that I really don't mind planning things. I'm actually rather good at it, and if I'm given the resources then I can plan events and the like. I enjoy doing so, truth be told. And I must admit that the trip had me pysched (as some of you may recall from much earlier entries). I pretty much single-handedly arranged everything for the trip, and coordinated most of it as well.
Have you ever tried to ask someone their preference, or tried to get their opinion on something, only to hear, "Whatever you want," or "I really don't care," in response? Isn't it annoying? Especially when you particularly want or need the other person's input! There was a severe case of that in the planning of this trip. I was the one who ended up making decisions, and it annoyed the living daylights out of me. I do like planning events, but I also like having some general points to use as a sort of rough outline - instead I was saddled with almost all the planning (I say "almost" because my memory might be failing again and someone might've actually contributed something at some point and I just don't remember) and no one would even give me basic points to work off of!
I do not work well on things I don't know the basics or boundaries of.
Despite this, I was really and truly looking forward to the trip. I'd planned it, worked out all the bugs, and done everything I could to make sure all would go as it should. I worried and fretted over the trip for days, hoping that everything would go over well and everyone would have a good time.
Except it didn't, and at the last minute everything fell apart. Burandi-san was unable to go due to health reasons, and Kisaru-kun opted out not long after. The trip went from being a senior trip to just another beach trip.
Of course both were told that we'd reschedule. Mama's niceness demands it. This would be perfectly alright were it not for the fact that it seems I am again expected to play the role of "Event Coordinator" and am therefore obligated to run back and forth betwixt four or five different people, comparing dates and seeing what works when.
I must ask: Do I look like Selphie to you!? Do I look like I can take all this and work it out into a viable event schedule again?!
Just to give you some idea of how difficulty has risen by a factor of, oh let's say twenty, the first time planning this event I would confer with the other seniors by waiting until lunch and then calling Kisaru-kun over to where Burandi-san and I were. I would then talk to the others over the Internet, and work it through that way. Now Burandi-san is the only one still at the school and can be contacted through e-mail (she doesn't check her inbox very often) or by phone (I loathe calling people on the phone, just so you know), Kisaru-kun doesn't sign online all too terribly often, and Mama has to use me to get messages out to everyone else. Do I look like a message board to you?
If I were anything other than really, really annoyed by all this then I'd be crying from sheer frustration. Geez, I'm so irritated I've scratched myself up. I've got welts on my ribs, arms, back, face, shoulders....
My plans already fell apart once. What makes you think I can regroup and put everything together again? Just to let you know: I really don't care anymore. I hate the beach, and I already got a frikkin' tan -which I won't next time 'cause I'll have sunblock instead of stupid sunscreen- so there's no reason for me to go back there. You want to go there so badly then reschedule it yourself! I DON'T CARE ABOUT IT ANYMORE! If I plan it it won't work! History has made this perfectly clear! Let's learn from the past, shall we?
I hate trying so very hard to make something go right only to have it fall apart. It's happened so many times. I just can't do it again. I can't put so much into something only to watch it fall to pieces. I'm sorry, but I can't.
Note that, despite this rant and the fact that what I'm saying is true, I most likely will be forced back into that role. I have to, after all. Who else can contact everyone and get all that needs to be done taken care of? Why, no one can except perhaps Yuni. She doesn't mind, now does she? Oh goodness no! How could she? She has no life anyway, so why not let her do something useful for a change?
Newsflash: I already did.
Now, when I say that I've been suffering from this particular bout of... angst, shall we say, since the first weekend of this month, those with good memories or a marked calendar will be the first to know what event happened that weekend, but for those who are bereft of such things I'll go ahead and tell outright: The first weekend of May was supposed to be our senior trip.
Except it wasn't.
This trip was months in the making. I was consulting and conferring with people back in, what?, March? about it: planning and working out details and making sure everyone was off work and knew where to go and could make it on time and knew what to bring, etc., etc. I invited more people to be sure that the trip wouldn't be a complete waste of time, and then made sure that they had all the information needed, knew where to go, were off work, so on.
Let it be known first of all that I really don't mind planning things. I'm actually rather good at it, and if I'm given the resources then I can plan events and the like. I enjoy doing so, truth be told. And I must admit that the trip had me pysched (as some of you may recall from much earlier entries). I pretty much single-handedly arranged everything for the trip, and coordinated most of it as well.
Have you ever tried to ask someone their preference, or tried to get their opinion on something, only to hear, "Whatever you want," or "I really don't care," in response? Isn't it annoying? Especially when you particularly want or need the other person's input! There was a severe case of that in the planning of this trip. I was the one who ended up making decisions, and it annoyed the living daylights out of me. I do like planning events, but I also like having some general points to use as a sort of rough outline - instead I was saddled with almost all the planning (I say "almost" because my memory might be failing again and someone might've actually contributed something at some point and I just don't remember) and no one would even give me basic points to work off of!
I do not work well on things I don't know the basics or boundaries of.
Despite this, I was really and truly looking forward to the trip. I'd planned it, worked out all the bugs, and done everything I could to make sure all would go as it should. I worried and fretted over the trip for days, hoping that everything would go over well and everyone would have a good time.
Except it didn't, and at the last minute everything fell apart. Burandi-san was unable to go due to health reasons, and Kisaru-kun opted out not long after. The trip went from being a senior trip to just another beach trip.
Of course both were told that we'd reschedule. Mama's niceness demands it. This would be perfectly alright were it not for the fact that it seems I am again expected to play the role of "Event Coordinator" and am therefore obligated to run back and forth betwixt four or five different people, comparing dates and seeing what works when.
I must ask: Do I look like Selphie to you!? Do I look like I can take all this and work it out into a viable event schedule again?!
Just to give you some idea of how difficulty has risen by a factor of, oh let's say twenty, the first time planning this event I would confer with the other seniors by waiting until lunch and then calling Kisaru-kun over to where Burandi-san and I were. I would then talk to the others over the Internet, and work it through that way. Now Burandi-san is the only one still at the school and can be contacted through e-mail (she doesn't check her inbox very often) or by phone (I loathe calling people on the phone, just so you know), Kisaru-kun doesn't sign online all too terribly often, and Mama has to use me to get messages out to everyone else. Do I look like a message board to you?
If I were anything other than really, really annoyed by all this then I'd be crying from sheer frustration. Geez, I'm so irritated I've scratched myself up. I've got welts on my ribs, arms, back, face, shoulders....
My plans already fell apart once. What makes you think I can regroup and put everything together again? Just to let you know: I really don't care anymore. I hate the beach, and I already got a frikkin' tan -which I won't next time 'cause I'll have sunblock instead of stupid sunscreen- so there's no reason for me to go back there. You want to go there so badly then reschedule it yourself! I DON'T CARE ABOUT IT ANYMORE! If I plan it it won't work! History has made this perfectly clear! Let's learn from the past, shall we?
I hate trying so very hard to make something go right only to have it fall apart. It's happened so many times. I just can't do it again. I can't put so much into something only to watch it fall to pieces. I'm sorry, but I can't.
Note that, despite this rant and the fact that what I'm saying is true, I most likely will be forced back into that role. I have to, after all. Who else can contact everyone and get all that needs to be done taken care of? Why, no one can except perhaps Yuni. She doesn't mind, now does she? Oh goodness no! How could she? She has no life anyway, so why not let her do something useful for a change?
Newsflash: I already did.