It's been 3000 years. Life-Update, part 1.
I can't believe I'm actually starting to blog again. I meant to use this journal (or well, the original LJ one) as a transition blog, to have proof of the physical and mental changes, but guess what I totally didn't do. Now two years have passed and so did most of my depressions, because I'm almost done transitioning. But I guess I'll try to put up bullet points of what actually happened? It's so weird to come up with something to say if everything is FINE. Talking about negative things is so easy in comparison.
December 2012 to January 2013
I drove to Munich to pick up Kayla at the airport, and I don't think I've ever been that nervous without being anxious. But from the first moment we saw each other, hugged each other, it was perfect and we knew it. Sleeping in one bed for the first time was breathtaking, just holding hands and cuddling, being close. The first physical contact is so overwhelming, when all you had before was just words on a screen. We went for walks, went to christmas markets, got drunk on new years. We laughed and cried and kissed and had sex for the first time, and it made me feel like I was sent back to easier times. It felt , and still does, like the first time I've actually been in love. With all the giggling and blushing, the dokis and the fuzzy feeling in the stomach. The good-bye was a mess. But we promised each other to work towards a future together.
February 2013
Started working part-time in the company was a good idea. It brought more money in and my savings skyrocketed. It was a relatively stressful time, but shortly after I started working there I was able to out myself in the company and everyone was fine with it. Judging me by my personality, not my looks or my gender. What a relief. Generally being in Hof made me feel so much better and more confident in myself. The therapist I had/have here helped me a lot, and getting positive feedback for a change means so much. The only negative thing to say here is that Kayla and me argued a lot and were generally miserable after she went back to America. I wanted to make sure she comes back soon, but the situation with her parents was just so difficult. Plus, I couldn't find a flat and almost gave up looking. It's so hard to find a place when you have pets and a limited budget...
March 2013 to July 2013
Found the perfect flat. 120 squares, first floor, directly in the city center and pets were allowed. Relatively affordable, still a bit expensive but sometimes you gotta invest into the future. We moved in after a lot of struggling, because our driver for the moving truck dumped us. Thank God Yana was back from Russia and helped me a lot with the move, as well as Marcus, a co-worker. But all the stress hit me hard and I had to take time off work because I was a mental wreck. Kayla had her job at the helpdesk and already helped me paying the rent, since we knew she would come here eventually... but everything was still so vague. We eventually managed to convince her parents to pay for a visit in August. And that's where things get funny...
August 2013 to October 2013
Two weeks of vacation. Yeah, sure. We registered her here and then apologised to her parents for not coming back. It was a dirty mess. Her parents were angry, called us betrayers and liars. They somehow needed to get the money back for college that they already paid for Kayla, Kayla had to pay everything back that she earned over the summer since it was college funded... but we made it somehow. Just when her parents calmed down a bit we told them we're getting married to get a residence permit for Kayla and oh dear. How irresponsible we are. We don't know anything about working as partners and adults together, blah blah. But at this point, her parents came to terms with it and are really supportive. Just the initial shock I guess, and that would've hit every pair of parents, not just hers. Shortly after the wedding I started hormone therapy, finally.
November 2013 to December 2013
The hormones actually kicked me right where it hurts. With physical changes like facial hair growing I just didn't feel comfortable anymore going to work and being addressed with a girl's name. I was written off sick for depressions from mid November on, tried to go back once or twice and had breakdowns after three days. The end of the year was relatively unspectacular, except for a lot of appointments to get Kayla some income, changing tax classes, and finding a German course for her. We spent most of the time with paperwork.
I guess that's all for 2013, and for 2014 I will make a separate post.