[Week 24, Day 5, Solo Log]
Who: Kinomoto Touya
Status: Closed, solo
Style: Paragraph
Where: Mizusato ryokan site
When: Week 24, day 5
Rating: PG
Warnings: Overworked, ill, depressed teenage boy.
Summary: Touya does a little musing on the job.
The construction is almost finished.
Touya isn't honestly sure what he expected, when he thinks about it, because he's used to thinking of buildings as things that take a very long time, and he had expected primitive methods to cause it to take a lot longer. But he's also used to buildings being things that scrape the sky, at least when they're hotels or offices or other places of business.
The ryokan seems modest, by his own modern standards, and yet impressive in this world, especially since he's been there almost every day, seen every bit of work put into the thing. So much human sweat and exertion, without the use of machinery, and he feels as if he himself has becomes stronger in the process, somehow.
It's a silly thought, perhaps. Surely that kind of change doesn't happen that quickly, does it?
And yet what this world is teaching him, more than anything, is that everything can change in a single instant.
So many things, changing so fast. The ryokan project had come up so quickly, and yet saved him from the sort of boredom that ate away at him, that useless feeling that he wasn't doing anything to help anyone. Yuui's brother and boyfr- whatever Kurogane was - showing up had been good as well, and so many of the various connections he himself had made with people had been amazing.
Yet.
This world, and its fickle gods, could take away just as easily, Touya has learned.
He won't think about what has been taken away. Won't think about a little girl with silly pigtails and a habit of stomping around, with the brave heart and a strength he admires. Won't think about a young man with big glasses and the sweetest smile that ever existed and that way of being kind of everyone that simultaneously makes Touya want to share him with the world and keep him to himself forever.
He won't think about it, won't think about it, won't...
And that's why, despite having worked and worked and worked, he can't seem to find peace at all. Resting just gives him time to think, and he can't handle that. And while he's quite fond of his friends, their togetherness makes him feel more alone at times.
He is not the Touya they knew.
To him, already, Fai and Yuui and Kurogane are precious friends, as much as he hates to admit it. But they are not his family, however much he has tried to make them be so, with pancakes or grudgingly offered kind words of presents of toys.
Magic lessons are a thing to be grateful for. Kindness is a thing to be grateful for. The fact that it's not enough? That's all Touya's fault, isn't it?
But he's not the type to sit still and think about these things. He's exhausted, physically and mentally, and he's heartbroken, and he's not really sure what his life is for, anymore. But the answer to that question, when it's not 'to take care of Sakura' or 'to be with Yukito' or 'to help Dad'... it's always been one thing.
Work.
Pure honest work.
So he shows up first thing in the morning, making his way over from Amesato, leaving the making of breakfast to others on this particular morning, despite it being one of his favorite chores. He grabs a muffin from the bakery, chews it on his way to the site, and then starts to work, greeting each worker as they arrive, giving orders as confidently as if he's been doing it his whole life.
No standing in the tent doing paperwork for him, though.
He carries the heaviest blocks and pieces of lumber that he can manage, runs back and forth across the camp for tools, wields the hammer with vigor.
He works, and he works, and when he realizes that he's a little too warm and he hasn't eaten since breakfast and he probably ought to be drinking more water?
Well, there's no one there to make sure that he does.
And when the workers who arrived after him, one by one, leave for the day?
Well, he promises to get moving very soon, says that he'll head home to Amesato, that he'll get some rest, that he'll take good care of himself.
And when he finally collapses, face down in the dirt, Hitomi streaming away, body feverish and mind finally, finally almost done spinning around and around his losses?
It's his mother's voice he hears saying 'my silly silly child.'
But in this world, there's no beautiful long-haired angel to smile upon him.
Status: Closed, solo
Style: Paragraph
Where: Mizusato ryokan site
When: Week 24, day 5
Rating: PG
Warnings: Overworked, ill, depressed teenage boy.
Summary: Touya does a little musing on the job.
The construction is almost finished.
Touya isn't honestly sure what he expected, when he thinks about it, because he's used to thinking of buildings as things that take a very long time, and he had expected primitive methods to cause it to take a lot longer. But he's also used to buildings being things that scrape the sky, at least when they're hotels or offices or other places of business.
The ryokan seems modest, by his own modern standards, and yet impressive in this world, especially since he's been there almost every day, seen every bit of work put into the thing. So much human sweat and exertion, without the use of machinery, and he feels as if he himself has becomes stronger in the process, somehow.
It's a silly thought, perhaps. Surely that kind of change doesn't happen that quickly, does it?
And yet what this world is teaching him, more than anything, is that everything can change in a single instant.
So many things, changing so fast. The ryokan project had come up so quickly, and yet saved him from the sort of boredom that ate away at him, that useless feeling that he wasn't doing anything to help anyone. Yuui's brother and boyfr- whatever Kurogane was - showing up had been good as well, and so many of the various connections he himself had made with people had been amazing.
Yet.
This world, and its fickle gods, could take away just as easily, Touya has learned.
He won't think about what has been taken away. Won't think about a little girl with silly pigtails and a habit of stomping around, with the brave heart and a strength he admires. Won't think about a young man with big glasses and the sweetest smile that ever existed and that way of being kind of everyone that simultaneously makes Touya want to share him with the world and keep him to himself forever.
He won't think about it, won't think about it, won't...
And that's why, despite having worked and worked and worked, he can't seem to find peace at all. Resting just gives him time to think, and he can't handle that. And while he's quite fond of his friends, their togetherness makes him feel more alone at times.
He is not the Touya they knew.
To him, already, Fai and Yuui and Kurogane are precious friends, as much as he hates to admit it. But they are not his family, however much he has tried to make them be so, with pancakes or grudgingly offered kind words of presents of toys.
Magic lessons are a thing to be grateful for. Kindness is a thing to be grateful for. The fact that it's not enough? That's all Touya's fault, isn't it?
But he's not the type to sit still and think about these things. He's exhausted, physically and mentally, and he's heartbroken, and he's not really sure what his life is for, anymore. But the answer to that question, when it's not 'to take care of Sakura' or 'to be with Yukito' or 'to help Dad'... it's always been one thing.
Work.
Pure honest work.
So he shows up first thing in the morning, making his way over from Amesato, leaving the making of breakfast to others on this particular morning, despite it being one of his favorite chores. He grabs a muffin from the bakery, chews it on his way to the site, and then starts to work, greeting each worker as they arrive, giving orders as confidently as if he's been doing it his whole life.
No standing in the tent doing paperwork for him, though.
He carries the heaviest blocks and pieces of lumber that he can manage, runs back and forth across the camp for tools, wields the hammer with vigor.
He works, and he works, and when he realizes that he's a little too warm and he hasn't eaten since breakfast and he probably ought to be drinking more water?
Well, there's no one there to make sure that he does.
And when the workers who arrived after him, one by one, leave for the day?
Well, he promises to get moving very soon, says that he'll head home to Amesato, that he'll get some rest, that he'll take good care of himself.
And when he finally collapses, face down in the dirt, Hitomi streaming away, body feverish and mind finally, finally almost done spinning around and around his losses?
It's his mother's voice he hears saying 'my silly silly child.'
But in this world, there's no beautiful long-haired angel to smile upon him.