I see no reason I cannot stay with you in the gardens while also informing this man of the extent of his failure with regards to Sasuke and Itachi.
Konan, certainly you must understand how deeply I am offended when these people make presumptions upon our livelihoods.
[ Flowers. Sunlight. Yes, there is something to be said for such concerns, he supposes, but there is work to be done here, as well. Important work. ]
I will go to you, but I hope, Konan, that you recognize the significance of the effort I must engage in to educate these individuals on their wrong-doing towards Sasuke and his family.
I cannot, in conscience, simply abandon the boy to this man's predatory whims. His village will simply destroy his life as he did Itachi's.
I thank you for the compliment on the care I have taken of him.
I will go to those gardens, but for now, I wish for you to come to me.
I prefer to be near you while I educate others of their own worthlessness.
[Reaction]dramatic_capeFebruary 18 2010, 20:50:09 UTC
[ There is passion in this dream.
Lelouch knows it, knows what it's like to hold so much fire and anger inside that it burns a hole right out of you, heats your eyes until they stream with frustrated tears and scorches your throat until the only audible speech you can make is a scream. Knows that void the anger leaves behind once it's burned all of you out, a yawning abyss inside your body that nothing but the anger can fill up again, a star gone from supernova to black hole, until the people you love get sucked in, too. (Her eyes were stars until he'd eaten the light out of them, left her dead-undead and something less than human that dared to wear her smile-)This is love that more closely resembles agony, agony and too little hope and too much despair
( ... )
[audio | private]dramatic_capeFebruary 19 2010, 01:16:11 UTC
[ And later, minutes later, maybe hours later, Lelouch picks up the Hitomi and keys it to audio.
Maybe for a few seconds he cannot say anything. Can say nothing. Can be nothing.
But he does say something. ]
It's not your choice to make.
[ What he wants to say is, you can't stop someone from breaking, any more than you can stop them from loving or hating or feeling nothing; you can influence and persuade and plead and intercede, but in the end you cannot make that choice for that person. If this Sasuke wants to be nothing, to break it all down and become unbreakable, that is what he is going to do. You cannot force him into the correct path; he's the one who has to choose it. No one can choose it for another person.
(But he can, Lelouch; he knows he could, could take that choice away, hollow out his eyes and make him less than human, pry open his mouth and put words into it and sew it shut again, and to know he could do that is something that both intoxicates and terrifies him. It was the kind of knowledge that had him
( ... )
[ voice | private]ura_no_uraFebruary 23 2010, 11:05:34 UTC
[ It bothers him, it really does -- that a stranger, a foreigner, who doesn't know anything about him can look at him and judge him and think he knows the inner workings of Kakashi's head from a dream that says as much as it doesn't. Dreams are the product of the mind when it does not know itself. When it is not thinking or pausing for breath and drawing the line in the sand. It lets the sand run straight through without being strained or picked carefully, the grains mixing all together, the brights and the darks. It doesn't know how to sift and separate and you stand with your ankles buried in it until it drags you down. Quick
( ... )
[ voice | private]dramatic_capeFebruary 23 2010, 22:05:57 UTC
[ Lelouch is not fooled - Kakashi sounds too intentionally casual, too normal. He's a man who understands masks, all right, understands keeping your face hidden under layers of smiles and superficiality. And, of course, there was the actual fact that he hasn't, to Lelouch's knowledge, yet shown his face over the network at all. Not even in his own dreams.
(A hero in a mask is different - he can be anyone, and anything, and anywhere. This is Zero's essence; he is every shadow in every alley and under every bed.)Lelouch makes it a point to watch as many dreams as he can catch because this is his job: to know, to understand, to gather information, to interpret it, to line the pieces up and and connect them so he can see the board - and in another way, it is his job to experience as much as he can. These dreams are another set of masks, personas, and Lelouch cannot refuse another identity. If anything, it's something like practice
( ... )
[Reaction]catrepellantFebruary 18 2010, 21:29:07 UTC
[Katsuya holds the hitomi and pauses here and there, trying to understand whether the emotions are on the trip-wire line between passion and grief. He knows that emotions can be three things at once, four, five, a kaleidoscope of confusion, but here he wants to understand each one. This person had been the first to try to instruct all others, and he had a feeling he was a good person, and he had seen this other's face, this young and old man, on the boards as well.
He responds with a hollow something, but that something is untenable and undetermined, but he's beginning to understand the God's intentions. With the fuzzy response, Katsuya feels he can't possibly come up with a polite and respectful rejoinder, and instead shuts the hitomi off.]
[reaction] 1/2carnificialsFebruary 18 2010, 23:13:01 UTC
[ Humanity is ugly.
And this is the ugliest.
Mukuro would laugh, but his breath has solidified in his throat, and even if it hadn't, he wouldn't have known what the hell he had been laughing over, anyway. Humanity is ugly because it's emotional and sensitive, one big poisonous ball of gas that infects and destroys everything it touches, and Mukuro's not cruel.
He's merciful. This is one example why.
The dream makes his chest hurt, makes his lungs ache from beneath his ribcage. There's too many feelings here, too many conflicting emotions that burst together like fireworks. It's dangerous, and it's stupid. Stupid to feel this way, stupid to waste time and energy attempting to understand something that cannot be understood, because.
( Sometimes -- )
Broken people ( toys ) should stay broken.
This man has been handicapped by his own humanity. This man is wounded, torn open, but he's not torn open enough -- except, no, that's not right. He's vulnerable because he's been torn open too much, and Mukuro refuses to understand. He
( ... )
Kakashi hadn't even managed to gather himself together enough to figure out how the hell to respond to the shit (and it is shit, it is shit because Pain doesn't know what the fuck he is talking about, doesn't know Sasuke, doesn't know anything, and thinks he does -- Pain thinks he is a god but he is just a man, just a man, just a man) that Pain spewed at him and expected him to swallow, when this little comment came creeping along and Kakashi's already angry, trying to control himself. Angry that he had this dream in the first place, and angrier that everyone saw it, and angriest most of all that he can't control the things that go on in his head when he closes his eyes and tries to sleep at night and everyone can reach in, beyond the mask and see--
(Everything.)He abruptly stops thinking. When he is not thinking it is better than when he is. He makes himself think of things that are not Sasuke. That are not Pain talking shit at him and the confusion of not knowing what the hell it was he dreamed in the
( ... )
[ Yeah, that's good. This is where Mukuro flourishes, where Mukuro does his absolute best. Anger is something he's familiar with, something he's used to dealing with, and he doesn't know how pissed off this man is just yet, but it's pretty goddamn obvious that he's not happy.
And that's enough.
He's hunched over his device, shoulders tense as he squeezes his fingers around the hard casing. His heart hasn't settled yet, nor has the pounding in his head, but this little bit of familiarity is enough to ground him, enough to have him refocusing. ]
I'm just concerned. [ And doesn't he just sound it? ] It's not healthy to keep everything in like that.
[Five minutes have gone by, and Kiba is still not sure what to make of this.
He still hasn't gotten used to experiencing other people's dreams. Feelings, memories, everything coalescing together to form something infinitely greater. Kiba knows that most of these feelings aren't his. The emotions are unusually vibrant, piercing, both real and unreal, dreamlike, and yet somehow anchored onto something. He knows this guilt over Sasuke isn't his. If this guilt was Kiba's own, there would have been more anger. More fury. More flame. But it's not his. Kiba's never felt much about Sasuke, really. A sort of neutral animosity. No trust, just acceptance at just what Sasuke is. He's always regarded him as something that's Team 7's business. And Sasuke is Team 7's business, though it's slowly leaking into something that's threatening to envelop anyone who's ever associated with the boy with the Sharigan eyes.
Kiba never liked him. It's no secret. Not many people did. Yet, he feels Kakashi's guilt as if it's his own, and it eats away at his
( ... )
[ This is not exactly what Kakashi wants to deal with. Not people asking questions, and certainly not Sasuke's agemates coming at him with confusion in their voices. And why wouldn't it be confusing, after what they just saw? Kakashi's not even sure what he dreamed. Isn't sure he wants to know, either.
So he responds like he would any other time. Like Kiba hadn't just seen and felt something Kakashi doesn't even know what to make heads or tails out of. ]
Comments 84
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[Lovingly. Her face is obscured by the shadow of vines, yet sunlight strikes her face and brightens her smile.]
Nagato, come away from that torture-box. It darkens your mood.
You would be much happier with me outside, in the garden. The flowers have started to bloom again and the sun has come out . . .
Do not worry about Sasuke. He is with us now and we will take care of him.
Under your eyes, he will realize his freedom. We will not isolate him like Kakashi.
[/private]
Kakashi--
Konoha has stolen from him. From us. Your guilt could not possibly be accounted for because it bears on the entire village.
You could not possibly atone for all of your village.
Everyone must suffer.
And even then . . .
[She does not finish. There is no need to do so. Konan is not fond of unnecessary words.]
Sasuke is lost to you. He is within our care.
We will see to it that he is released, rather than caged like a Konoha dog.
Reply
I see no reason I cannot stay with you in the gardens while also informing this man of the extent of his failure with regards to Sasuke and Itachi.
Konan, certainly you must understand how deeply I am offended when these people make presumptions upon our livelihoods.
[ Flowers. Sunlight. Yes, there is something to be said for such concerns, he supposes, but there is work to be done here, as well. Important work. ]
I will go to you, but I hope, Konan, that you recognize the significance of the effort I must engage in to educate these individuals on their wrong-doing towards Sasuke and his family.
I cannot, in conscience, simply abandon the boy to this man's predatory whims. His village will simply destroy his life as he did Itachi's.
I thank you for the compliment on the care I have taken of him.
I will go to those gardens, but for now, I wish for you to come to me.
I prefer to be near you while I educate others of their own worthlessness.
Reply
Lelouch knows it, knows what it's like to hold so much fire and anger inside that it burns a hole right out of you, heats your eyes until they stream with frustrated tears and scorches your throat until the only audible speech you can make is a scream. Knows that void the anger leaves behind once it's burned all of you out, a yawning abyss inside your body that nothing but the anger can fill up again, a star gone from supernova to black hole, until the people you love get sucked in, too. (Her eyes were stars until he'd eaten the light out of them, left her dead-undead and something less than human that dared to wear her smile-)This is love that more closely resembles agony, agony and too little hope and too much despair ( ... )
Reply
Maybe for a few seconds he cannot say anything. Can say nothing. Can be nothing.
But he does say something. ]
It's not your choice to make.
[ What he wants to say is, you can't stop someone from breaking, any more than you can stop them from loving or hating or feeling nothing; you can influence and persuade and plead and intercede, but in the end you cannot make that choice for that person. If this Sasuke wants to be nothing, to break it all down and become unbreakable, that is what he is going to do. You cannot force him into the correct path; he's the one who has to choose it. No one can choose it for another person.
(But he can, Lelouch; he knows he could, could take that choice away, hollow out his eyes and make him less than human, pry open his mouth and put words into it and sew it shut again, and to know he could do that is something that both intoxicates and terrifies him. It was the kind of knowledge that had him ( ... )
Reply
Reply
(A hero in a mask is different - he can be anyone, and anything, and anywhere. This is Zero's essence; he is every shadow in every alley and under every bed.)Lelouch makes it a point to watch as many dreams as he can catch because this is his job: to know, to understand, to gather information, to interpret it, to line the pieces up and and connect them so he can see the board - and in another way, it is his job to experience as much as he can. These dreams are another set of masks, personas, and Lelouch cannot refuse another identity. If anything, it's something like practice ( ... )
Reply
He responds with a hollow something, but that something is untenable and undetermined, but he's beginning to understand the God's intentions. With the fuzzy response, Katsuya feels he can't possibly come up with a polite and respectful rejoinder, and instead shuts the hitomi off.]
Reply
And this is the ugliest.
Mukuro would laugh, but his breath has solidified in his throat, and even if it hadn't, he wouldn't have known what the hell he had been laughing over, anyway. Humanity is ugly because it's emotional and sensitive, one big poisonous ball of gas that infects and destroys everything it touches, and Mukuro's not cruel.
He's merciful. This is one example why.
The dream makes his chest hurt, makes his lungs ache from beneath his ribcage. There's too many feelings here, too many conflicting emotions that burst together like fireworks. It's dangerous, and it's stupid. Stupid to feel this way, stupid to waste time and energy attempting to understand something that cannot be understood, because.
( Sometimes -- )
Broken people ( toys ) should stay broken.
This man has been handicapped by his own humanity. This man is wounded, torn open, but he's not torn open enough -- except, no, that's not right. He's vulnerable because he's been torn open too much, and Mukuro refuses to understand. He ( ... )
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I wonder. [ His tone is sharply teasing, morbidly curious. ] How do you live with yourself?
Reply
Kakashi hadn't even managed to gather himself together enough to figure out how the hell to respond to the shit (and it is shit, it is shit because Pain doesn't know what the fuck he is talking about, doesn't know Sasuke, doesn't know anything, and thinks he does -- Pain thinks he is a god but he is just a man, just a man, just a man) that Pain spewed at him and expected him to swallow, when this little comment came creeping along and Kakashi's already angry, trying to control himself. Angry that he had this dream in the first place, and angrier that everyone saw it, and angriest most of all that he can't control the things that go on in his head when he closes his eyes and tries to sleep at night and everyone can reach in, beyond the mask and see--
(Everything.)He abruptly stops thinking. When he is not thinking it is better than when he is. He makes himself think of things that are not Sasuke. That are not Pain talking shit at him and the confusion of not knowing what the hell it was he dreamed in the ( ... )
Reply
And that's enough.
He's hunched over his device, shoulders tense as he squeezes his fingers around the hard casing. His heart hasn't settled yet, nor has the pounding in his head, but this little bit of familiarity is enough to ground him, enough to have him refocusing. ]
I'm just concerned. [ And doesn't he just sound it? ] It's not healthy to keep everything in like that.
You should find an outlet.
[ Preferably an explosive one. ]
Reply
He still hasn't gotten used to experiencing other people's dreams. Feelings, memories, everything coalescing together to form something infinitely greater. Kiba knows that most of these feelings aren't his. The emotions are unusually vibrant, piercing, both real and unreal, dreamlike, and yet somehow anchored onto something. He knows this guilt over Sasuke isn't his. If this guilt was Kiba's own, there would have been more anger. More fury. More flame. But it's not his. Kiba's never felt much about Sasuke, really. A sort of neutral animosity. No trust, just acceptance at just what Sasuke is. He's always regarded him as something that's Team 7's business. And Sasuke is Team 7's business, though it's slowly leaking into something that's threatening to envelop anyone who's ever associated with the boy with the Sharigan eyes.
Kiba never liked him. It's no secret. Not many people did. Yet, he feels Kakashi's guilt as if it's his own, and it eats away at his ( ... )
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So he responds like he would any other time. Like Kiba hadn't just seen and felt something Kakashi doesn't even know what to make heads or tails out of. ]
Hmm? Kiba?
[ He sounds completely unaffected.
But he always is.
(Except for when he isn't.) ]
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