[audio | private]dramatic_capeFebruary 19 2010, 01:16:11 UTC
[ And later, minutes later, maybe hours later, Lelouch picks up the Hitomi and keys it to audio.
Maybe for a few seconds he cannot say anything. Can say nothing. Can be nothing.
But he does say something. ]
It's not your choice to make.
[ What he wants to say is, you can't stop someone from breaking, any more than you can stop them from loving or hating or feeling nothing; you can influence and persuade and plead and intercede, but in the end you cannot make that choice for that person. If this Sasuke wants to be nothing, to break it all down and become unbreakable, that is what he is going to do. You cannot force him into the correct path; he's the one who has to choose it. No one can choose it for another person.
(But he can, Lelouch; he knows he could, could take that choice away, hollow out his eyes and make him less than human, pry open his mouth and put words into it and sew it shut again, and to know he could do that is something that both intoxicates and terrifies him. It was the kind of knowledge that had him waking up at night, sheets tangled around his legs, sweating and shaking and his jaw clenched so tightly shut his teeth ached; the kind of thought that, once thought, chilled his marrow, until the bones grew so cold his flesh froze from the inside out.
That's the kind of power no one should have, and that's why he has to be nothing and no one to let himself use it.) ]
[ voice | private]ura_no_uraFebruary 23 2010, 11:05:34 UTC
[ It bothers him, it really does -- that a stranger, a foreigner, who doesn't know anything about him can look at him and judge him and think he knows the inner workings of Kakashi's head from a dream that says as much as it doesn't. Dreams are the product of the mind when it does not know itself. When it is not thinking or pausing for breath and drawing the line in the sand. It lets the sand run straight through without being strained or picked carefully, the grains mixing all together, the brights and the darks. It doesn't know how to sift and separate and you stand with your ankles buried in it until it drags you down. Quick.
No, you don't have control when you dream, and that is what's so dangerous about this place -- which lays open the mind of the dreamer and everything else in between and lets anyone who wants to be a voyeur watch and judge.
And this boy -- Lelouch -- Kakashi has heard him speaking, seen him around. He sounds and feels a lot like Madara or Pain, the way he talks. All this shit about revolutions and justice and oppression, but somewhere in all of that there is regret and unbearable loss. He's seen his dreams too, has felt the weight of something enormous pressing down upon him that felt so familiar Kakashi had to stop watching; he took his hands off the Hitomi and sat back and away from it.
Some dreams are meant to be kept private. This is one of them. ]
Mmm, you're right. Though I don't see how it's any of your business.
[ Kakashi sounds all too casual. ]
Can't say that's very polite. Lelouch-san, was it?
[ voice | private]dramatic_capeFebruary 23 2010, 22:05:57 UTC
[ Lelouch is not fooled - Kakashi sounds too intentionally casual, too normal. He's a man who understands masks, all right, understands keeping your face hidden under layers of smiles and superficiality. And, of course, there was the actual fact that he hasn't, to Lelouch's knowledge, yet shown his face over the network at all. Not even in his own dreams.
(A hero in a mask is different - he can be anyone, and anything, and anywhere. This is Zero's essence; he is every shadow in every alley and under every bed.)
Lelouch makes it a point to watch as many dreams as he can catch because this is his job: to know, to understand, to gather information, to interpret it, to line the pieces up and and connect them so he can see the board - and in another way, it is his job to experience as much as he can. These dreams are another set of masks, personas, and Lelouch cannot refuse another identity. If anything, it's something like practice.
Or maybe he just doesn't want to admit that the thought of being, for a short time, someone-not-himself is entirely too appealing.
And - in any case - it's not like he's not the victim of this same process, as much as everyone else here. ]
No, I suppose not.
[ He shouldn't have said anything in the first place. He should have kept his mouth shut. He should have put the Hitomi down. He should never have been here in the first place.
Maybe for a few seconds he cannot say anything. Can say nothing. Can be nothing.
But he does say something. ]
It's not your choice to make.
[ What he wants to say is, you can't stop someone from breaking, any more than you can stop them from loving or hating or feeling nothing; you can influence and persuade and plead and intercede, but in the end you cannot make that choice for that person. If this Sasuke wants to be nothing, to break it all down and become unbreakable, that is what he is going to do. You cannot force him into the correct path; he's the one who has to choose it. No one can choose it for another person.
(But he can, Lelouch; he knows he could, could take that choice away, hollow out his eyes and make him less than human, pry open his mouth and put words into it and sew it shut again, and to know he could do that is something that both intoxicates and terrifies him. It was the kind of knowledge that had him waking up at night, sheets tangled around his legs, sweating and shaking and his jaw clenched so tightly shut his teeth ached; the kind of thought that, once thought, chilled his marrow, until the bones grew so cold his flesh froze from the inside out.
That's the kind of power no one should have, and that's why he has to be nothing and no one to let himself use it.) ]
Reply
No, you don't have control when you dream, and that is what's so dangerous about this place -- which lays open the mind of the dreamer and everything else in between and lets anyone who wants to be a voyeur watch and judge.
And this boy -- Lelouch -- Kakashi has heard him speaking, seen him around. He sounds and feels a lot like Madara or Pain, the way he talks. All this shit about revolutions and justice and oppression, but somewhere in all of that there is regret and unbearable loss. He's seen his dreams too, has felt the weight of something enormous pressing down upon him that felt so familiar Kakashi had to stop watching; he took his hands off the Hitomi and sat back and away from it.
Some dreams are meant to be kept private. This is one of them. ]
Mmm, you're right. Though I don't see how it's any of your business.
[ Kakashi sounds all too casual. ]
Can't say that's very polite. Lelouch-san, was it?
Reply
(A hero in a mask is different - he can be anyone, and anything, and anywhere. This is Zero's essence; he is every shadow in every alley and under every bed.)
Lelouch makes it a point to watch as many dreams as he can catch because this is his job: to know, to understand, to gather information, to interpret it, to line the pieces up and and connect them so he can see the board - and in another way, it is his job to experience as much as he can. These dreams are another set of masks, personas, and Lelouch cannot refuse another identity. If anything, it's something like practice.
Or maybe he just doesn't want to admit that the thought of being, for a short time, someone-not-himself is entirely too appealing.
And - in any case - it's not like he's not the victim of this same process, as much as everyone else here. ]
No, I suppose not.
[ He shouldn't have said anything in the first place. He should have kept his mouth shut. He should have put the Hitomi down. He should never have been here in the first place.
Lelouch is just tired of this. ]
I apologize. It wasn't my place.
Reply
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