Recalling You (2/?) (ishiruki)
Recalling You (2/?)
Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach.
Warnings: some language, obviously it's IshiRuki
Summary: Losing his memory, Ishida strives to escape the chaos, even her.
Notes: Here's where the bastard part of Ishida comes out. Beware.
Previous chapters:part one
-x-
Hours later, a knock comes to his door and brings him from an evening slumber. Eh, he knew he should have packed right away and leave instead of rested. After awaking from that...dream, Ishida chose to rummage through the apartment, having momentarily bursts of familiarity of the home. A gym bag had been in the small closet and he had the intention to begin packing, though tiredness overcame his senses.
Sliding off the couch, he lazily wobbles to the door. He doesn't bother checking to see. Ishida already has an assumption of who it is. It's a strange but nearly thrilling feeling as he's aware of who waits on the other side; the sudden sharpness of this sixth sense doesn't alarm Ishida, however. Opening the door in a slow pace, his eyes rest on the short woman. Her eyes look up expectantly at him as she stands quietly on his doormat.
Ishida really wants to be rude. But he remembers this is the person who probably saved his life (maybe). Squaring his shoulders (it's almost painful, though instinctive, like he's done it so many times before), Ishida bows his head and addresses her respectively, "Is there something you need, Rukia-san?"
She nods and is about to say something when he whips around quickly. If they're going to have a conversation, Ishida would rather be inside, where no one can hear clearly. Leaving the door wide, inviting her in, he turns to the kitchen and takes out a cup.
"Something to drink?"
Shaking her head, Rukia states, "You need to come back to the Urahara Shop. Please, Uryuu. You're not fully healed."
Well, that explains the crazy nightmares. The illness is still within him, despite the lack of serious pain and feeling he's about to die. But he's not planning on paying a visit to that creep in the hat and clogs. In Ishida's opinion, that man needs more medical help than himself. So, no. He's not going back. Pouring some water into the glass, he offers her an annoyed look.
"It will be fine. You should worry about yourself."
Something painful and harsh passes over her face. Before he can study it, she turns around, running a hand through her hair. And when she speaks, her voice is slightly strangled and it twists at his stomach. "Oh, I-I see. That is all I wished to tell you."
That means there's totally much more he needs to know, but Ishida's not enthused about knowing anything else. Slightly, he wonders why she would just lie-and how he knew she was. Shouldn't he have forgotten already? Feelings and attachments should have disappeared. However, as he glances over her form, Ishida feels a recognizable tug inside his mind, like a reminder of something important. Something strikes a confused chord within Ishida each time he thinks of Rukia-mixed emotions, as if his old self had been just as disoriented of her. He doesn't know how to feel about her and he doesn't want to spend the time finding out.
It occurs to Ishida that Rukia still may not know of his current condition. Urahara still hasn't told her, apparently. That causes some annoyance; Urahara left this problem to him? Another reason he really shouldn't be dealing with these people. Sighing, he leans against the kitchen counter, not bothering to look her way.
"Then I suppose you should leave."
Swiftly, she twists herself around, slamming a hand on the counter near him. The action makes him jump and he stares with offense. Her body inches closer, a menacing look on her face and he backs away. The sudden behavior leaves no room for questions as she speaks.
"You are not well, Uryuu. Why do you not listen?"
He begins to defend himself with whatever reasons he can think of, but she continues yelling.
"You act as if you don't know me. I understand that..." she frowns, as if struggling to find the right words, "I understand how you must feel. It was a mistake. I'm worried for your health. If you don't see Urahara, he may not be able to find a remedy."
So the shop owner hasn't told her yet, Ishida discovers that his suspicions were correct. The fool. Ishida mentally sighs. She is still under the impression he remembers everything from before. He doesn't want to tell her about this. As he glances over her tense frame, he realizes that maybe she did mean something to his former self awhile ago. Whether she was a close friend or not, she certainly isn't much to him now. Ishida just wants to rid himself of this.
"Stop lecturing me," he monotones, leaning forward, catching her off guard. "I'm leaving this place soon. You can't tell me anything to do after this is over. So just leave."
Shock hits Rukia's expression and he straightens his back, readying himself for the retaliation. Surely, she'll shout back. Seconds pass and she still stares at him with surprise. Gradually, her features fall into a heartbreaking look. Oh, wonderful. He got to her feelings. Ishida thinks that maybe he went overboard. More than that: he crossed about five lines in just a couple seconds. The pain that flashes over her face doesn't fit and that's probably what gets to him the most. That brief, small smile had been the best and he likes that on her. This...this hurt that registers upon her expression strikes him.
Narrowing her eyes, Rukia steps closer, her form barely touching his. They exchange looks until the young woman promptly brings a hand up to his head, says something under her breath and he's suddenly very sleepy. What the hell? What's with all these strange things happening to him? What'd she use? Magic?
He doesn't get the chance to ask as he's falling to the white floor of his kitchen floor. Two slim arms catch his back before he does.
-x-
So this is possibly the fourth time he's woken up in a place unknown to him. Well, the apartment was semi-strange. But it's getting old and irritating nevertheless. Seconds pass and he begins to recognize the room. Urahara's place. Damn. Staring at the ceiling, Ishida makes a list of the things he'll need to pack in order to move out of this town as fast as possible.
"I can hear you," someone monotones from the corner.
Sighing (for the hundredth time), Ishida sits up and glares at the woman, who sits cross legged. Her eyes don't even blink as she stares at him with a dark expression. He returns the look, narrowing his eyes seriously. Really? She has the audacity to get angry with him? She's the one who violated his rights. Though he still doesn't know how she did it, she knocked him out. And that stands as a great reason to cut ties with her (them, he reminds himself, it's not just her).
Standing up, Ishida locates the door, intending on getting out of here. When he casts a smothering gaze over to her, he realizes she's not longer in the corner. Confused, he looks back at the door and nearly yells in shock as Rukia is there, hands on her hips.
"How'd you-?" Ishida raises an eyebrow, shooting another glance over his shoulder where she should be. "What's going on? Did you give me medication?"
"Uryuu," her face softens suddenly, arms dropping limply at her sides. "Urahara told me what's going on."
Huh. Ishida ignores how disappointed that makes him. That means she's even more involved than she should be. Maybe there's an upside to this. Will she leave him be as she realizes how much he wants to go away? Probably not, considering they had some sort of friendship from before. This causes even more discouragement. He doesn't want his new world to have her. He wants new people-people who didn't know him from before. She'll serve as something complicated and irritating. He doesn't want to remember his life from before. And if she's in this one, Ishida will be forced into recalling the memories.
Rukia glances over his face with almost hidden grief and clicks back to seriousness. Briefly, Ishida wonders why she does that. Why switch from real emotion to none at all? But the thought is gone and he's back to being agitated.
"All I ask is some time for you to be healed," she averts her eyes away, weariness leaking from her voice, "Urahara believes he knows what this is all about."
"Did you tell him that I don't want to be here?" Ishida returns scathingly.
Immediately, she shoots him a withering glare. "You want to go somewhere else?" she demands heatedly, abruptly gripping his wrist, pulling him out of the room, "Fine. You can go somewhere else."
His heart pounds with alarm. Uh, oh, not good. He's not a good expert on her yet, however Ishida can grasp a pissed off Rukia is not a good sign. But he allows her to lead him through the hallways, interest pulls inside him and he wants to know where they're headed. She stomps against the floorboards until she reaches the end of a corridor. Raising an eyebrow, he's about to question her intentions, but Rukia throws up the rug and swings open a small, hidden door.
"Whoa! Wait a second!"
But she throws him down the secret floor door and he's screaming all the way down.
-x-
His eyes open to a beautiful, young woman's face, scowling down at him. It's crazy but that look just intensifies her attractiveness. Twitching at how his thoughts are going astray, Ishida blinks them away. He's lying on his back and he swears there are rocks digging into it. And his head hurts. Wonderful.
Something is missing. He's forgetting something here... Studying the woman just mere centimeters from his face, Ishida concludes there must have been an accident. Or perh-
"You pushed me in a pit!" Everything from earlier comes flooding back into his memory. Flying up to a sitting position, Ishida nearly hits her in the head with his. She easily avoids the collision and backs away, hands defiantly on her hips. Pointing an accusing finger at her, "I could have gotten seriously injured. Or worse! I probably have a concussion right now! The problems just keep piling up. Are you insane? All of you people are mentally deranged!"
Suddenly, her hands fly to the heavens as she huffs. "Oh, please. You're ten times more durable than I ever could be. You and your mortal blood-ugh! Out of everyone, you're the most vulnerable, but you don't care. You get stabbed repeatedly and you just walk away, like nothing's wrong," she seems to be half-mocking him and half-serious, frowning as she concludes, "It must have something to do with being a Quincy."
"Now I really don't know what you're babbling about," Ishida rolls his eyes and sighs. Looking past her, he nearly falls over in confusion. His surroundings are not inside-in fact, everything seems to be outside in some dessert. But didn't she push him in some basement? Some big basement. Of course, that's impossible, as far as Ishida's concerned. (Great, he has started caring...) "Where are we?"
Breathing out irritably, the black-haired woman makes a sweeping gesture around them. "This is the underground training grounds, designed by Urahara. You only came down here when you needed to cross into another world."
Ishida thinks that maybe he can accept this craziness for a bit longer, since he's still feeling a bit apathetic towards his situation. Searching for any sign that could betray what she says is true, Ishida calmly studies the rocky terrain. There was a bright blue sky and a seemingly vast land. Cross into another world? Whatever affiliation he had with this crazy woman before is gone now because he's just tired of hearing this insanity. It's not that he cares if she's border lining clinical psychotic actions, Ishida's simply sick of being around it. He wants to leave.
But it's convincing. A little. She did throw him down about five stories into a strange basement built for...training did she say? And he's not dead. Yet. He'll play along. For now. Turning back to her, he nearly feels annoyed when he spies the smug look across her features. This only sends a few questions to who he really was before to find a friend in this cocky woman.
"Will you stop with that," he demands, brushing past her (sure to bump against her shoulder). "So why are we here?"
"We are here," Rukia stomps ahead of him, a vengeful foot landing hard on his, "because you wanted to get out of this town, right?"
Holding his sore foot, Ishida throws an irate look Rukia's way. "Yes, yes. Now get to the explanation."
Swiftly, she takes a hold of his wrist, forcefully leading him forward. Ishida doesn't bother resisting, knowing it will probably be over soon anyway. Whatever she wants to show him can't possibly be as much as a nightmare as yesterday. They near a small mesa (one of the many there) until she rounds and pauses. As Ishida looks around, he spots a large gate, similar to the Shinto Torii variations, however it is taller and its poles are skinnier.
A click next to him causes Ishida to turn back to Rukia. Her attention is off him for the moment as she opens a candy canister and flicks a piece in her mouth. Raising an eyebrow, he's about to ask aloud why, however a bright light stops him. Rukia hunches over slightly as a light flickers and seemingly extrudes something out of her. Another form merges quickly from her body. Ishida's eyes grow wide and he steps back in fear. This other body kneels on the ground, clad in a black kimono and, from what he can tell, a sword upon its hip. Seconds later, this new form stares up to him and Ishida wants to scream when he realizes it has the face of Rukia.
"Go to Urahara and tell him we are departing," it speaks to the Rukia in the dress. Nodding, she whips around and begins the other way.
"Wait! Rukia! What are you doing?" Ishida starts after her but a hand grips his shirt sleeve harshly. Turning around, he finds himself staring into the Rukia clone. "Let go of me!"
His hand moves to push her away, however she jumps back, glaring. "I'm Rukia, idiot. That's just a mod soul."
"What? What's a mod soul and what the hell was that?" Ishida yells, confused and agitated. He stares after the other Rukia, who now has disappeared. "You're not Rukia. Rukia wore a yellow dress and-"
"It's me!" she persists, holding an open palm to her chest. "This is my shinigami form. That's my human form."
"Okay," Ishida waves her off, beginning the other way, "I've had enough of this. You should probably seek professional help, as will I. You must have drugged me or-"
And she's suddenly dragging him again. Well, this time, it's by the ankle and they're heading to that large gate. Ishida screams at her, threatening to sue or something. But she ignores him, throwing a glare over her shoulder.
"Stop this, Uryuu," she says quietly, "Maybe you'll remember if you see it again."
See what again? Ishida wants to tell her he doesn't want to remember. He just wants to start over and get away. But she's so desperate for the friend she wants had and it's getting way too difficult and stressful for him to understand. Magic? Impossible. It doesn't exist. And all this mystery of who he was once is getting to his head.
A brightness nearly blinds him as the gate begins to glow. Nevertheless, Rukia walks straight through it and he blacks out.
-x-
Waking up...in another strange place. Wonderful. He doesn't open his eyes this time. Besides, he feels unusually drained, as if the illness from before has rushed upon his system again. His glasses are missing, he notices, so he wouldn't be able to observe his surroundings.
Ishida slightly wonders where he is this time. Anger sweeps over him as he thinks about why he's here in the first place. Rukia. She's irritating beyond belief. Couldn't she just forget about him and like he has? Doesn't she know it's hurting the both of them when she keeps holding on? There must be a reason he's like this and he doesn't want to stick around to find out what it is. She just can't leave well enough alone. It's her fault this is all happening. He could have been purchasing some apartment miles away if it weren't for her and her weird...magic tricks. Was that magic? Or had she drugged him? Ishida doesn't really want to find out.
His mind slowly begins to slip into sleep again until he hears a familiar pat-pat of feet. Keeping his eyes closed, he recognizes the sound as a door sliding open.
"Will he awaken soon?"
Instantly, Ishida wants to stand and yell at her the second he realizes who has just entered the room. But, apparently, there has been someone in here with him all along, though it doesn't particularly bother him. Another voice, even quieter and gentler than Rukia's, speaks.
"I expected him to be conscious minutes ago." A pause. "The amount of kido you spent on him has weakened his immunity. But I suppose it was worse off, according to Urahara's message."
"But he will be all right?"
The anxiousness in her tone makes Ishida mentally roll his eyes. Her worry is beginning to annoy him further.
"Yes. I've made sure he'll be fine. However...I cannot say if his state of mind will be any different. It's a situation entirely different than his physical health."
"Then what is it?"
"Urahara offered some of his theories. The one with most prominent evidence appears to be an illness similar to fugue amnesia." There's a small pause until the quiet voice speaks again. "Usually people who have this are under much stress. Something finally breaks inside their mind and they wake up. No memory of their lives before. And, because this is a mental illness, they cannot think rationally, so they don't care what happens. Sometimes, it takes years until they are found again and it's normal to find them under a different name and life."
"And he has this?"
"It's possible, though I believe it may be only related. His life as a surviving Quincy and having so many battles in his life may contribute. It would help with more information. However, something pushed him over the edge."
"Oh...I-all right. Thank you, Unohana-taicho. You've helped us so much."
"Until later. I suppose I can leave you alone now. Good night, Kuchiki-san."
The door slides to a close as he feels an air displacement next to where he lies. So he's in a hospital? Huh, so he finally got some medical treatment. There had better be no bills sent at his address; he's not dealing with the mess Rukia made, which apparently she did make (he's sure she's heavily involved). Now that he understands (just a little) what's going on with him, he might as well just go along with it. He still wants to move away from this life, but at least he has some excuse for feeling the way he does.
Great. He's starting to care.
Abruptly, small fingers brush over his hand and embrace it tenderly for only a moment. Opening his eyes to slits, he sees the blurry world without the aid of his glasses. A hand comes into view, closer to his face. Instinctively, he snatches it and brings himself to a sitting position. A gasp sounds from his side and he doesn't have to really guess who it is.
That was odd. He doesn't feel dizzy or tired so suddenly. The fast motions should have caused his head to swim but Ishida feels just fine. Strange. Glancing over to Rukia, he makes out her shocked expression as he still has her wrist firmly within his hand.
"You're awake."
"I want to get out of here," he hisses at her through clenched teeth, leaning closer to her. "Get me out of here."
A hand hits his chest hard and he's back lying down. Her body traps him from above. Voice low and in a warning, "For the last time: you are not well. I must help you."
Her determination only fuels his rage. It's not her job to rule his life and it wasn't her job to drag him into places he didn't want to be. Ishida doesn't want to be thrown into this strange world of hers just so that she may feel like helping an old friend. That's done now. Whatever friendship he had with her before is certainly gone. As of now, he's cutting it loose.
Quickly, he grips her other wrist and rolls them over, attempting to gain power. However, this only results in the both of them being thrown over the edge of the bed and onto the floor. The two land on their sides roughly. Desperately, Ishida scrambles to stand up before Rukia can get to him first. Hurriedly, he searches the room for something, though there is nothing but blurred objects. Suddenly, he feels her tackle him to the cold floor and wrestle to restrain him. Ishida growls, throwing her to the side until she's on her back.
This is so out of control, he knows. But he can't stop the flood of anger and desire to get away. She's a barricade and is blocking any way of escape. He has to run from her. So their shuffle continues in dark purpose.
One of her hands escapes his grasp and flies to his face. Ishida hisses as he feels a cut across his cheek. Angrily, he reaches for her wrist but she throws it back, hitting the leg of a small table, which causes objects to fall on them. A familiar clang stills his actions. Squinting to see, Ishida spies his glasses! Before Rukia turns them over again, he lets go and grasps his glasses off the floor, quickly placing them over his face. His world turns clear and more visible.
Rukia, who is only a couple meters away, narrows her eyes at him as she lies on the floor. It's over, whatever that was. It's done. He leans back, his head against the wall, breathing heavily. He's not just exhausted-excitement and fright overwhelm him; adrenaline spurring within. She really is crazy, though he can't say anything different for himself either.
"What's going on?" he chokes out.
Bringing herself to sit down properly, she stares across the room at him with slight remorse. "Why...?"
Ishida frowns. Why what? Isn't it obvious? He wants to know what is happening to them-him. All these outlandish happenings keep occurring and he wants to know how to stop it.
But the next second, he hears her voice break and everything stills.
"Why is it so hard to convince you? Ichigo was different...he accepted it. But...why is it hard for you?"
Her hands cover her face. Shoulders shake quietly. She's crying, he knows, but how could he possibly comfort her?
-x-
A few hours later, she comes by again. This time she's her normal, guarded self. He ignores it and keeps staring out the window. Others dressed like her pass by, oblivious of their quiet observer. Their black kimono's offer a distant animosity for them. Part of him desires to tell her it doesn't look good on her-that bright blues and yellows compliment her better, but that would include being nice. And he's not up for being pleasant.
The sun will set soon, he can tell by the sky's color. Morning. So he stayed up all night. Sleep only brings about small images that he assumes are memories, to his dismay. Ishida knows he'll be stuck here against his will for awhile, until it appears he can recall what happened. And he doesn't want to lie, so succumbing to Rukia's will is all he has.
Observing her move smoothly across the room in grace, Ishida thinks it may not be so bad being her 'captive'. Rukia gathers whatever is needed (some spare clothes, prescribed medicine, paperwork) and finally steps beside him.
"I have a place for you to stay."
He turns back to the window. "It's with you, isn't it?"
"You'll see."
Despite his distrust, Ishida forces himself to follow her. Rukia leads him just a few steps ahead, nearly gliding with each move. Out the door and through hallways, they get to the outside. People stare as they walk together on the gravel ground. Ishida chooses to ignore the questioning glances and stares ahead and it doesn't take him long to find Rukia doing the same. Dirt crunches beneath his shoes as he takes small strides next to her.
"Where are we?"
"The Soul Society."
"That makes sense," he monotones and she shoots him a dark look.
"It's where all the dead souls reside. And where the shinigami dwell," she makes a sweeping gesture to all the others around them. "They protect others."
"And you're a...shinigami." When she nods, he asks, "Did my other self know this before?"
"You do know this," she corrects him, "You just don't remember."
They don't speak again on their small journey. He thinks about how fragile Rukia appears and how strange it is she claims to defend others. That explains the enormous endurance she possesses. She takes large strides to keep up with his small ones. Her short stature is so obvious next to his tall one. However, Ishida realizes she must be used to it by now, amongst a world of other giants.
It's rather annoying, to him, how she plays this off as normal. It's as if he has lived with her all their lives and she simply expects him to know all of this, to be aware of these surroundings. He guesses it's her way of controlling him, for he has no knowledge and knowledge is the main power in this current relationship. All this nonsense about dead souls and shinigami's is killing him. It's irritating and getting old.
Stray thoughts lead to what Urahara and Rukia had said not too long ago. Urahara hinted he "had a father", though it was past tense. Parents? Ishida hadn't pondered on it for long, seeing that if he's living alone, he must be well off. Though this "Quincy" business is irritating. What the hell is a Quincy? Ugh, what does it have to do with him? Then there's this Ichigo. In his dreams, he breifly sees that carrot-topped boy, the annoying one. Ishida assumes that must be the one, though he's not going to conclude that just yet.
The small buildings around them start leaving their view as fields of grass enter. Their feet still follow the small road until she makes a turn and he can spot a large estate. Huge gates and fencing surround the area, though Ishida can observe the housing within its barriers.
Apparently, Rukia is wealthy. Not that he's surprised. From the way she acts, he can reason she belongs to some big name. Her poise and manner screams high society.
"You live here."
"With my older brother. Kuchiki Byakuya, the head of our clan."
The gates open for them immediately and she leads him through the front garden to the west wing, where the open hallways guide them to a sliding door. Opening it roughly, Rukia allows him to enter it first. A mat for a bed rests to the side, as other furniture, such as a small futon and dresser, are spread around the room. He turns back to her, eyebrows raised.
Crossing her arms in defense, "I won't bother you, if that's what you're wondering. I hardly live here anyway, with all the work I have in Karakura Town."
"No," he murmurs, "that's not it."
"What is it then?" she asks softly. "It's not Karakura Town. You don't have to live there anymore... What do you need, Uryuu?"
Ishida sighs, letting himself lean against the wall. There's something missing here. But he can't place it. Or is it something that has been lost in his memory? He can't figure it out.
"Is your brother all right with this?"
"He knows you are staying here. Don't be bothered by something like that. What else is the matter?"
A frown falls upon his features as he tries to answer the question himself. It has to do with her, he knows. Mystery and disoriented thoughts fill his mind. She has another motive. Attempting to please him during this 'healing process' is a cover for something else. Finally, he turns back to her, standing straight and stepping closer. Her eyes stare up at him in puzzlement and expectancy.
"Why must you do this for me?" he gently demands of her. "You feel obligated, don't you? It's not because we were friends, is it? What really happened?"
Something very painful and dark crosses her face. And, for a few moments, that expression stays on her face until he tilts his head for her answer. Shaking slightly, Rukia backs away, combing a hand through her hair nervously. Ishida frowns as familiarity strikes him-she's afraid.
"I care for you," Rukia explains curtly. "I'm the only one who can and will help you. That's it, Uryuu."
They both know that's not true. She's lying but apparently the truth may just be too much. He's beginning to have the desire to know as he watches her walk away without a backwards glance.
-x-
She stands there, alone and open, on the highway's road side. Cars whiz past, blowing wind violently around her small form. Apprehension rises inside him as he watches her. Most likely, she is waiting for the other man-the one she belongs with. It's always been that way and yet he's having a hard time with that fact. Why now? Why, when he's only seconds away from saying a polite hello, does this hurt?
Stepping down from the small cliff, he flies over the road and lands inaudibly behind her. Instantly, she whips around, sensing his presence. Over the noise of the cars, she breathes his name with a ghost of a smile. It's the smile he's always love and he can only nod. And, just as he begins to leave, having nothing to say, she catches his wrist. Looking down, he finds invitation skimming over her eyes. It's enough and he decides to stay.
Leaning up to his ear, he can hardly hear her whisper:
"Thanks for the company."
-x-
Ishida jerks awake, gasping. With a hard sweep around the room, he collects himself, leveling his breathing. Trembling, the young man covers his eyes, flashes of a young woman in a blue dress that billows in the wind dominating his vision.
It's undeniable who it was, just like how undeniable it is his heart beats uncontrollably thinking about her.
-x-
Author's Notes
-x-
Longer chapter than the last. For better understanding of what fugue amnesia is you could simply google it. However, it's a type of dissociative identity disorder. Don't be afraid to research these things.
Enjoy~
Part III