Cindy the SRNA - Week 3
LOL, the cut warning is like the pink elephant. But I do feel the need to warn about the story, which you'll find near the bottom of this entry. I've seen and dealt w/ a lot of gross shit since I plunged into healthcare 9 years ago, but this story is one of the few that actually had me really really skeeved. So, you've been warned.
The week was relatively unremarkable, except for Thursday and Friday. Class finally started on Monday, it was great to see my friends again, but I felt so lonely without Lisa and particularly, MA. I was still saving a seat for her, expecting her to bound on in and plop down next to me. Sad, I know.
Tuesday was meh. I love weekends, but I hate them b/c I feel like I lose my groove when I get back. I was w/ Dr Steve and man oh man, did I ever feel like I was annoying the bejeebus outta him! I was w/ him the first day and he was very nice and talkative. Tuesday, he was distant (literally, on the other side of the OR distant) and moody. Although, he seemed to be moody all week, so I guess it wasn't just me?
Wednesday I was w/ Mary again and had a great day. I really like Mary. She's one of the people who make me feel slightly competent.
Thursday was dread day. I was stuck w/ that loony Donna again. Donna really grates on my nerves. She's one of those people who are always right. In school I was taught to insert LMAs w/ a tongue depressor (which is a method approved by the creator, according to Mary). It goes in better and requires none of the mouth mashing Donna's way requires (which I've done many a time for her with mixed results). I decided on Thurs to stand up a bit for this and say (very nicely) I prefer to use the tongue depressor. Oh snap, did I ever royally piss of her majesty. I was treated to a serious tongue lashing about how if it was anyone else I would've been knocked out of the way and not allowed to place the LMA, other docs would yell horribly at me, need to learn the hard way, not shortcuts, you haven't done this enough to have a preference (and then was duly surprised to hear I've already done 20), blah blah blah. I really wanted to smack her, but I was just scared and embarrassed and that's all she saw. Stupid biznatch. Other than that annoyance, Thursday went off without a hitch. She was pleasant to me the rest of the day. Although I was bummed that there was no ortho and blocks this week. Apparently, it's every-other Thursday, not every Thursday, like I was originally told. Oh well, next time!
Friday was the day. Gross story here. I was w/ one of my favorite docs, Mike. I'd like to squish him, he's so nice. It was a great day, I intubated really well, he helped me see what I was doing wrong with the tongue, we had good convos about the (my) anes plan, I was able to correctly answer all his questions, it was just great. Wonderful confidence builder after an otherwise meh week. I really like him. It was another OB/GYN day (which seems to be everyday, here....) and our first case was an ablation where Surgeon Doc A was being assisted by Surgeon Doc B. Half way through (about to get gross), a surgical tech from the neighboring room (where one of my classmates was) came in and showed Doc B some pictures. They had no idea what was in the picture and wanted Doc B to come and help next door when he was finished w/ helping in the case I was taking care of. Dude came over and insisted me and Mike (and everyone else in the universe, basically) see these pictures. It was the inside of a uterus w/ black stuff on it. It looked like hair. It really did. I was like WTF and immediately had visions of, I think it was a House episode, where there was a dude who's identical twin never properly formed in embryo and he had his brother's hair and teeth growing in his intestines. WRONG. Dude comes back 5 minutes later with more pictures saying HOLY SHIT, IT'S...
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UTERINE PARASITES!!
OMG, I wanted to die right there.
I've never been so close to vomiting. Every part of my body suddenly felt itchy and infested. It was so unspeakably gross. They closed the OR room, stuck the pt in isolation, decontaminated everyone who was in there. The poor doctor was in hysterics. I really wanted to get her a drink. Fuck, I wanted a drink and I don't fucking drink!!
I don't want to know how that happens. I'm not speculating. If anyone woke me up from surgery and told me that, I would've demanded a hysterectomy on the spot.
Unfortunately, going home wasn't an option at that point, so we continued our otherwise pleasant day, with everyone in a one mile radius discussing the topic of the day, much to my displeasure. Around 3pm, they sent my beloved Dr Mike home and replaced him with the dude I've dubbed, The Angry Bee. He's a nice guy, a new CRNA (which is why we usually don't get paired with him), but holy shit, HE DOES NOT STOP TALKING!! The second he walked in he started talking incessantly. I'm trying to take care of my pt, focus on things and listen to the attending that just walked in and this dude was still talking. It's this monotonous undercurrent that's like a buzzing in the ear. I really wanted to tell him to STFU. When that case was over, he started preparing for the wrong case. I interrupted him 3 times to tell him he was preparing for the wrong case before I left the room to get the board for proof, muttering that that he's not listening to me. One of the techs overheard and said, yeah, he doesn't listen to anyone.
Next up, The Angry Bee cornered the CRNA who was in TEH DRAMA ROOM while she was busy preparing for her next case and started talking non-stop to her about various other nasty things he's seen in his practice. You could tell she wanted to conk him over the head and tell him to STFU. I decided when the clock struck 4 that I'd been there for 10 hours, it's been a creepy day, I can't take this dude, and made my escape.
Oi, whatta week! My bright spot is, I'm meeting MA for dinner tonight. Hopefully, they serve a good drink, I think I'll be needing one........