Cindy the SRNA - Week 1
Well, clincials are finally here. And I survived Week 1 without crying. I was completely miserable at some points, but no tears were shed, about clinicals, at least. Yay...?
Honestly, I wasn't been looking forward to clinicals. I was nervous, I heard too many horror stories about mean preceptors and people who set out to make students cry. Also, losing my Cali friend was quite a blow. It got worse a few days later when my best friend in the program was also failed out. We had basically gone to see our Cali friend for lunch and try to cheer her up, when my other friend, MA, received an email from our program director (PD) telling her that she failed out. Bitch didn't even have the balls to tell MA to her face. And the rest of the people there treated all of us really rudely that day. Bastards.
I've been pretty devastated since all of this went down. But, I'm in a shit-ton of debt and need to get through this crap, even if I hate it. Which is basically the problem with educations costing so much. There's not much you can do if you dislike what you got into. The reason I had that panic attack last year was I was terrified of failing because I'm in so much debt. Logic, like the transferring of credits to another program, doesn't quite help in a situation where you spent the last 7 years of your life and tens of thousands of dollars working to get to a point only to fail because of a super shitty professor and their super shitty exams. FYI, this "professor" is our PD, and her class is the one that MA failed.
So, D-Day, or C-Day really, finally came last week.
I started off staying at a hotel because VB was giving me shit about housing. It's a nice hotel, had a pool (albeit, a dirty one) and everything, and I was pretty sorry to leave on Wednesday. VB finally pulled their head out of their butt and gave me one of their empty houses to stay in, for free, I might add. And thank goodness it's free b/c I sure as hell wouldn't be paying for it.
Most of the lights don't work, one of the bathrooms has broken plumbing, floors have holes in it, the alarm system only beeps constantly, there's no AC, phone or internet service, it's filthy dirty (but supposedly the cleanest place they had) and is in creep-central.
But, it does have - a wide screen TV with cable and a DVD player. Yay. If I ever get time to sit on that seedy looking couch, I might actually use it. Or not. Clincials keep me pretty busy.
In terms of clincials, they've been ok. They basically think I'm clueless and are treating me with kid gloves. I'm trying to dispel that notion, but I haven't been too aggressive, especially since I SUCK at intubations. Wow, I knew it would be hard, I knew people can go months without getting it, but I didn't think I would be this awful. Intubations are really the part in which I come closest to crying. Especially when they brought in the glidescope.
The glidescope is a blade w/ a camera on it. I was told to use it like a normal blade and not look at the camera screen, while they watched the screen and "saw what I saw." Except, the camera points up and gets a much better view than I do (hence, why there's a camera). So, they could see the cords and I saw squat, and they assumed I saw the cords and didn't know what I was looking at. Nothing I said made them believe me that I know what cords look like and I couldn't see them and the camera gets a better view than me. I felt like such an ass. At least they're all very nice and didn't dwell on it too much.
On the brightside, I'm picking up everything else rather quickly, so it's all moving along.
Leaving tomorrow morning to go back. Not really looking forward to it. But I will be cleaning up the place and getting an AC, otherwise, I will die.
Honestly, I wasn't been looking forward to clinicals. I was nervous, I heard too many horror stories about mean preceptors and people who set out to make students cry. Also, losing my Cali friend was quite a blow. It got worse a few days later when my best friend in the program was also failed out. We had basically gone to see our Cali friend for lunch and try to cheer her up, when my other friend, MA, received an email from our program director (PD) telling her that she failed out. Bitch didn't even have the balls to tell MA to her face. And the rest of the people there treated all of us really rudely that day. Bastards.
I've been pretty devastated since all of this went down. But, I'm in a shit-ton of debt and need to get through this crap, even if I hate it. Which is basically the problem with educations costing so much. There's not much you can do if you dislike what you got into. The reason I had that panic attack last year was I was terrified of failing because I'm in so much debt. Logic, like the transferring of credits to another program, doesn't quite help in a situation where you spent the last 7 years of your life and tens of thousands of dollars working to get to a point only to fail because of a super shitty professor and their super shitty exams. FYI, this "professor" is our PD, and her class is the one that MA failed.
So, D-Day, or C-Day really, finally came last week.
I started off staying at a hotel because VB was giving me shit about housing. It's a nice hotel, had a pool (albeit, a dirty one) and everything, and I was pretty sorry to leave on Wednesday. VB finally pulled their head out of their butt and gave me one of their empty houses to stay in, for free, I might add. And thank goodness it's free b/c I sure as hell wouldn't be paying for it.
Most of the lights don't work, one of the bathrooms has broken plumbing, floors have holes in it, the alarm system only beeps constantly, there's no AC, phone or internet service, it's filthy dirty (but supposedly the cleanest place they had) and is in creep-central.
But, it does have - a wide screen TV with cable and a DVD player. Yay. If I ever get time to sit on that seedy looking couch, I might actually use it. Or not. Clincials keep me pretty busy.
In terms of clincials, they've been ok. They basically think I'm clueless and are treating me with kid gloves. I'm trying to dispel that notion, but I haven't been too aggressive, especially since I SUCK at intubations. Wow, I knew it would be hard, I knew people can go months without getting it, but I didn't think I would be this awful. Intubations are really the part in which I come closest to crying. Especially when they brought in the glidescope.
The glidescope is a blade w/ a camera on it. I was told to use it like a normal blade and not look at the camera screen, while they watched the screen and "saw what I saw." Except, the camera points up and gets a much better view than I do (hence, why there's a camera). So, they could see the cords and I saw squat, and they assumed I saw the cords and didn't know what I was looking at. Nothing I said made them believe me that I know what cords look like and I couldn't see them and the camera gets a better view than me. I felt like such an ass. At least they're all very nice and didn't dwell on it too much.
On the brightside, I'm picking up everything else rather quickly, so it's all moving along.
Leaving tomorrow morning to go back. Not really looking forward to it. But I will be cleaning up the place and getting an AC, otherwise, I will die.