(no subject)
Wow, another year gone. 2009 has been quite the year. ups and downs. tears and laughter. I've honestly haven't grown up this much in one year that I have in the past years. I think I will always remember 2009 as the year were I learned who I was. I have never felt so confident in my decisions of what to do with my life than I have at this moment. Now that 2009 is over, drama and bullshit just seem so little. I've reliazed that what I want to do in my life is Occupational Therapy, and I know what I want when it comes to relationships now. The past couple months have taught me a lot about myself. having fun is fun, but having someone there I feel is better. I've reliazed why I don't hang out with a lot of girls too. I don't need that drama getting into my life. I've taught myself who my true friends are, and who is just there to bring me down. I've learned how to pick my battles, and who is worth fighting for. I've basically become (in my moms words) a duck. I let everything roll off my back. Life is too short to deal with every little thing that comes along. It's not worth my attention.
I think most of this learning happened when I was taking care of Caelyn. Just something about taking care of baby makes you grow up and learn that bullshit and drama is nothing compared to not knowing why your hurting, and not knowing whats happening to you. I owe so much to this little girl, she's taught me so much about myself. and for that I will forever be greatful.
When it comes to you. I've learned that this will always be our relationship. I've learned that we will not have the best relationship and I've learned that yes, your a complete asshole. but that's how you care, because you don't know who I am, and no, you won't take the time to get to know me, but that is okay. Because this will always be our relationship, and I've never been this okay with it than I am now.
For once in my life I'm happy with who I am and I'm happy with what I'm doing. I love my friends, and my job. I like that I've made some good solid friendships in the past year. and I am glad that I'm working on new friendships. Because right now in my life that is all I need, because they are my backbone when I'm ready to crash. I'm glad that some tell me how it is, and don't give into any bullshit. It's just what I need some times.
Thank you to everyone who has stood by me this past year. Your the ones that I owe my life to, and your the ones that have taught me to just let loose and be myself. I love you.