(no subject)
I hate france for stealing my best friend and my kindofboyfriend.
And they've only been gone for a few hours, and I miss them like they don't even know.
I know I've got Claire, but I still feel kind of lonely.
But, for the record, I do hope they have the time of their lives.
And maybe, possibly, sort of think of me when they see cool things and wish I was there.
I didn't know I was going to miss Daniel so much.
I thought the dread of having to make a decision by the end of ten days was going to be enough to keep me occupied, but I really do wish he was here. To hold my hand and give me hugs and laugh at my jokes - I know it's selfish, but I really can't help it.
It doesn't help that Tyler thinks it's okay to call and msg me. And text me to see if I want to walk home, because I really do want to be friends. But he just wants to clear his conscience, and I'm not being any part of that.
So now, I need to make a decision. And I have no idea where to even begin. I really don't want to think about it, I want him to come home and things to just stay the way they are right now forever.
It scares me that he loves me unconditionally - that no matter what, he says, he's going to be there. And at first, I was hesitant to believe him, but now I do. And it makes me panic a little inside.
I'm not going to toss a coin over this one. I'm going to make sure I'm making a good decision. That I'm doing what's best for me, that I'm not going to regret it.
I hope it's possible.