you can't see me
you don't see the tears rolling down my cheeks. You're my best friend and I love you like a brother. I act happy for you because deep down I am. On the other hand... i cry because i want what you and the rest of my bestests have. In the end, it's something that I truly want more than anything.
All my close friends have someone they love. Everyone's off doing their own thing, spending time with that one special person. And when they come home to talk to me, they go on and on about what they have. They're blissfully happy, therefore they aren't able to hold back their feelings towards it all. I don't blame them for that, but it hurts like hell.
This rant always seems to come up with me. It's not something I can move on from. I hate being here, i hate being where no one fucking considers me as someone important. (And I don't think that statement qualifies as me being stuck up and an attention whore.) But really, does my sister need me? hell to the fuck no, she'd be extremely content with having me move out. Do any of my friends here actually sit and go "wow i miss marcy, i wanna hang out with her". maybe a couple of them, but otherwise NO. Where the fuck is my place here? I don't have one, and back home, maybe i do. But I don't want to be relying on my friends' company, because all of them will go back home with their lover. Again, what the fuck do i go home to? an empty room.
I ultimately hate promiscuity. It's great at the time but the next day she gets up and leaves you alone again. I didn't need to put much thought into realizing that some of the utter states of contentment were when i was holding a girl and cuddling with her. I don't wanna be alone anymore. I want someone to love who is capable of reciprocating. When will it be my turn?
P.S.: even tho you're my best friend.. you know what i hate about you as of right now? you know i'm upset and you didn't fucking say anything.
All my close friends have someone they love. Everyone's off doing their own thing, spending time with that one special person. And when they come home to talk to me, they go on and on about what they have. They're blissfully happy, therefore they aren't able to hold back their feelings towards it all. I don't blame them for that, but it hurts like hell.
This rant always seems to come up with me. It's not something I can move on from. I hate being here, i hate being where no one fucking considers me as someone important. (And I don't think that statement qualifies as me being stuck up and an attention whore.) But really, does my sister need me? hell to the fuck no, she'd be extremely content with having me move out. Do any of my friends here actually sit and go "wow i miss marcy, i wanna hang out with her". maybe a couple of them, but otherwise NO. Where the fuck is my place here? I don't have one, and back home, maybe i do. But I don't want to be relying on my friends' company, because all of them will go back home with their lover. Again, what the fuck do i go home to? an empty room.
I ultimately hate promiscuity. It's great at the time but the next day she gets up and leaves you alone again. I didn't need to put much thought into realizing that some of the utter states of contentment were when i was holding a girl and cuddling with her. I don't wanna be alone anymore. I want someone to love who is capable of reciprocating. When will it be my turn?
P.S.: even tho you're my best friend.. you know what i hate about you as of right now? you know i'm upset and you didn't fucking say anything.