Hard to Focus
Well now that I am on vicodin, I am able to handle sleeping and eating small amounts of solid foods again. That is nice, yesterday I had my first solid food in 3 days, a beef and potato biritto from TB. What a way to start off my eating solid foods again by going to my addiction. But what sucks is I am running out of vicodin, and without it, it fucking hurts to talk or even breathe through my mouth. So after almost 10 hours of sleep last night (most I have had since I was feeling fine) I wake up with emense pain from just trying to breathe. Yeah I may be over reacting, whatever, but still no sore throat should make you have trouble breathing. So if this continues the doctor that perscribed me the meds said I need to come in next week to be tested for mono. Fuck yeah, that's just going to be fun, not to mention one of my few fears is getting blood drawn. This isn't going to be a good next couple days. I can be bleeding like no other, and it doesn't bother me nearly as much as taking a needle and pulling blood out of me. I can't say why, but I know I don't like it.
So after I wake up this morning I pop another vicodin, and take the steriod that may help the swelling in my kneck, and after that I won't be able to focus again till my throat starts to throb again. So I find myself wasting my time on the computer, watching a movie/tv, or sleeping a little. I am already having trouble completing a thought while writing this. Another good example was when Jesh was explaing something to me yesterday in Walmart, not even half way through I lost focus and he actually had to shout my name to get my attention again. I am pretty fucked up right now. At least I can still chat with people online, and talk with people from my house, but I try and keep a distance from them since no way in hell do i want them to have to deal with this shit also.
I am really missing spending time with a couple people that mean a lot to me. At least I have been able to chat with Stephanie online, but its still not the same and hanging out with her. Without Stephanie, I am feeling lonely, and I hate it. I keep wanting to go over to her place or something of that matter, but I know I shouldn't, it's really bothering me, but I know I'll manage somehow. Stephanie your friendship means a lot to me. And A'Lisa, I miss being next to her and knowing I can smile. I can't fully say what it is when I am around her, I feel happy though, just a simple nice feeling that I am trying to grow with time. I want to visit her also, but once again that is impossible right now. I want to be the one to relieve the stress she is feeling right now. I miss you A'Lisa.
Ok I am really starting to have a hard time writing a sentence now so I am going to stop here. I'll try and post again when I feel I can concentrate somewhat. Later all.
So after I wake up this morning I pop another vicodin, and take the steriod that may help the swelling in my kneck, and after that I won't be able to focus again till my throat starts to throb again. So I find myself wasting my time on the computer, watching a movie/tv, or sleeping a little. I am already having trouble completing a thought while writing this. Another good example was when Jesh was explaing something to me yesterday in Walmart, not even half way through I lost focus and he actually had to shout my name to get my attention again. I am pretty fucked up right now. At least I can still chat with people online, and talk with people from my house, but I try and keep a distance from them since no way in hell do i want them to have to deal with this shit also.
I am really missing spending time with a couple people that mean a lot to me. At least I have been able to chat with Stephanie online, but its still not the same and hanging out with her. Without Stephanie, I am feeling lonely, and I hate it. I keep wanting to go over to her place or something of that matter, but I know I shouldn't, it's really bothering me, but I know I'll manage somehow. Stephanie your friendship means a lot to me. And A'Lisa, I miss being next to her and knowing I can smile. I can't fully say what it is when I am around her, I feel happy though, just a simple nice feeling that I am trying to grow with time. I want to visit her also, but once again that is impossible right now. I want to be the one to relieve the stress she is feeling right now. I miss you A'Lisa.
Ok I am really starting to have a hard time writing a sentence now so I am going to stop here. I'll try and post again when I feel I can concentrate somewhat. Later all.