What Time Forgot Chapter 3
I just realized the abbreviation for this series is WTF...nice one on my part. Here is the newest edition to the series. Took me forever to get it the way I wanted it. It was inspired by a song originally done by the Shirelles.
Tonight you're mine completely
You give your love so sweetly
Tonight the light of love is in your eyes
But will you still love me tomorrow?
Rating: PG-13
Beta: I don't have one at the moment so forgive any errors.
Disclaimer: I don't own Stargate. I did not invent Stargate. I just like to play with it.
Author's Note: I never said I was a great writer. I just like to do it.
Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow?
The Asguard knowledge base illuminated the room all around him, but he paid no attention to it. He had spent a lot of time in this room by himself, learning what he felt he had to to preserve a race that had saved them on more than one occasion. This was his work for the time being and the only thing that kept him sane some days. It just wasn’t doing that at the moment. He had done nothing since turning the console on. Nothing, but think about her. He had been sitting on the floor with his back to a wall for the last hour or two trying to understand his own feelings. That morning he had felt incredible, waking up with her, the late breakfast they had had alone. For once since he had been stuck on this stupid ship he had felt content. Still, something bothered him.
His entire life had been consumed with understanding and defining what others did not. It was his passion to uncover the secrets of the past and understand the way of others lives. Cultures and why people thought and acted the way they did was his forte. So why was he completely stumped by his own emotions?
He had been trying to pinpoint a moment or a time when things had changed between them. Did he have feelings for her before last night or did it just kind of happen? And what about her? When had her games stopped being games? He would have never said any of that had he known she was serious. He didn’t think he would have ever let her into his bed either. He had surprised himself last night just as much as she had.
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Having had a late breakfast he wasn’t surprised to find himself alone for lunch. He had thought about finding Vala, but had decided not to. He had always felt comfortable being by himself. It gave him time to think. Usually he was knee deep in Asguard ideology and today he hadn’t even touched it. He would have to make himself after lunch to be at least halfway productive today.
He finished what was left of the sandwich he had made himself and was about to leave when Sam walked into the galley.
“Hey.” She smiled at him and pulled a bottle of water off the shelf.
“Hey.” He answered, returning her smile.
“What happened to you this morning? I was thinking about starting a search party when you didn’t turn up for coffee.” She sat down across from him, opened her water and took a drink.
“Slept in a bit I guess.” He momentarily looked down at his empty plate.
Which made Sam sit up and study him for a moment. “Daniel?”
“Sam.” He knew if he said anything else he would be getting himself into trouble.
With that she slammed her bottle down and leaned across the table. “You slept with Vala!”
“What?!” How in the world had she just come to that conclusion?
“Oh come on Daniel. I’ve known you for years. You are a horrible liar and you have that guy look.”
“What guy look?”
“The look! The look that says you definitely weren’t alone last night. And Since I know where I was…”
“I have no such look.” He looked away and tried to suppress whatever vibe he was giving off that told her what he had done the night before.
Sam in turn just stared at him with that trademark grin of hers.
In the end he couldn’t take it. “All right...yes.”
She picked her water back up and hit him with it playfully. “I tell you everything and you don’t tell me that you like Vala?”
“In my defense I didn’t quite know myself. Not until I kissed her.”
“When did you kiss her?”
“Just before we…”
“Uh-huh. So you just all of a sudden decided you had feelings for her and kissed her?”
“I wouldn’t exactly call it a decision. We had a fight, I said some things I shouldn’t have and hurt her feelings. I didn’t think I could hurt her feelings and then when I did…I don’t know all of a sudden I just kissed her.”
“Wow.”
“Understatement of the year believe me.”
“So does that make you two…”
“I think so.”
“I always knew she had a thing for you, but never did I think you would have one for her.”
“Wait, you knew she liked me?”
“Of course. Vala and I talk and it’s not hard to see how she acts around you.”
“Acts? She acts like she does with everyone else.”
“No, you just never seem to notice how much she has always needed your attention. Believe me Daniel.”
“Since when?”
“That I don’t know, but I definitely knew something was up after Adria captured you.”
“And you never thought to tell me.”
“I would never betray her confidence, Daniel, and besides did it really matter before yesterday?”
“No, I mean obviously a part of me must have been feeling something.”
“Well, you obviously don’t waste time.”
“I know and it kinda scares me. We both jumped in headfirst and it felt great, but we certainly weren’t thinking. We slept together before we even verbally acknowledged that we had a relationship. It’s crazy.”
“Yeah, but you’ve known each other for years, so it isn’t exactly like you needed a first date. She has always liked you, you obviously like her, so what’s the problem?”
“The problem…the problem is what if being stuck here has built op this heat of the moment kind of thing. What if in a week or a month one of us or both of us realize this isn’t working or that these are special circumstances that made us act irrationally or-”
“Daniel, stop.” She put one of her hands on top of his and smiled. “ Welcome back to the world of dating. You don’t know and that is the point. Maybe it will work and maybe it won’t, but don’t get ahead of yourself and worry about what you can’t change. Think about the now. Are you happy right now?”
He sighed and let go of all the thoughts that had been running through his mind. “Yes.”
“Do you want to be with her?”
“Yes.”
“Then be with her. That is all you need to know. Don’t over think everything.”
“That’s my job.”
“That’s why they say don’t take your work home with you.” She squeezed his hand and stood up to leave.
“Thanks Sam.”
“No problem, just give a girl some warning next time.” She smiled at him again and left him to his thoughts.
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The sweat on her body made her skin glimmer under the lights. This wasn’t her natural way to work up a sweat and it certainly wasn’t as fun, but what else was there to do? Running seemed to keep Cam busy and the gym room seemed to be in disuse today. Which is how she liked it since she needed time to think. She needed to clear her head a bit since a million different things were running through it. She didn’t like to feel out of whack. She liked it when her only problem was what color underwear to wear for the day. It was much simpler than a certain archeologist. Not that she was thinking about him…because she wasn’t.
“Don’t usually find you here.” The southern drawl from behind her caught her off guard and she faltered slightly. Hopefully Cameron hadn’t noticed. After him catching her exit this morning she had feared a little chat with the leader of SG-1 was going to come at some point.
“Hey.” She slowed the machine down to a brisk walk and took a quick drink of water. “Did you need something?” Quick and to the point as she hoped he would be since she wanted to be alone.
Cameron folded his arms across his chest and slowly walked over to her treadmill. “Naw, was on my way to a chess game when I passed by and was surprised to find you. Usually only Teal’c and I clear the dust in here.”
“Oh, yeah, well I guess I’m running…no pun intended…out of things to occupy me as you put it.”
He didn’t say anything as he leaned on the seat of one of the bikes and watched her. Pursing his lips in that way he did that told her he wasn’t just stopping by.
She turned the machine off and turned toward him, wiping the sweat off her face with a towel. “What?”
“Nothin.”
“Oh, don’t nothing me. I know exactly what you are up to, mister.”
“Really? Enlighten me.”
She stared at him for a minute and then folded her arms across her chest as he had done. He may be her superior in some ways, but she wasn’t in the mood to take his intimidation today. “Oh, don’t tell me you haven’t been practicing that little ‘leave Jackson alone’ speech all morning.”
“What you and Jackson do is none of my business.”
“You’re right, it’s not.”
“But…you both are a part of my team. I need us to work and relationships can make that difficult.”
“Right, because Daniel is your golden boy and I’m a distraction.”
“I didn’t say that.”
“You don’t need to.” She paused a moment, she tried to turn her thoughts into what she wanted to say. “I know I’ve caused problems. I know you probably don’t completely trust me, but you don’t have to worry about Daniel-”
Cam raised a hand to stop her. “I’m not worried…about Jackson. He’s a big boy and can take care of himself.”
“So what’s the problem, then?”
“I’m worried about you.”
“Me? Why me?” Now that caught her off guard.
“You…are not as tough as you want us to think you are.”
She tilted her head to one side and raised an eyebrow. “What do you kn-”
He interrupted her. “Will you shut up and let me say this.” He glanced at the floor and then back up at her. “I know first hand what something like this does to a friendship, especially one that you may rely on. You can’t ever go back. So watch yourself. I’m not trying to pretend to understand what happened between you two. But I do know that he’s been alone for a looong time and you feel more lost then you want us to know.”
She raised her eyebrow again, but he didn’t give her a chance to interrupt him. “I read every mission report you write. Reports differ depending on the writer. Teal’c, Sam’s and my reports are more military based. We keep it straight to the facts and the action. Jackson’s is more based on whatever new toy we found or archeological discovery, but yours…yours aren’t really reports. You put a little more in there then the rest of us-“ He took a step closer to her. “-and I can read between the lines. You put more into those files then you think. I know what you’ve been through because it is written on every page you have ever turned into me.”
Her eyes met the floor, uncomfortable that he was closer to the mark than he even knew.
“You depend on him a lot. So I don’t want to see you lose the only thing you feel you have…the only tie you think you have to us. Make sure this is what you want before either of you get deeper into this. If you are going to jump you better be damn sure that he is going to catch you, because if this goes south…you won’t have him to pick up the pieces this time.” He raised his hand as if to pat her shoulder, but didn’t. His hand fell back to his side and he sighed. “And that…is all I’m going to say about that. Now if you’ll excuse me I have a chess game to go lose.” He didn’t wait to see if she was going to look back up or say anything. They both were out of their comfort zones with each other. He just stood back up and started to walk away.
“Cameron?”
He turned back and glanced at her.
“Thank you and…Daniel isn’t the only one I feel I have here.”
“You’re welcome and…I wouldn’t have given Landry my permission for you to join SG-1 unless I completely trusted you.”
They stared at each other for a quick moment, a silent understanding passing between them. Then he nodded and left her to herself.
She stepped off the treadmill and stared in the direction of where he had been. Just when she thought the men on this team couldn’t surprise her anymore; Cameron Mitchell had just in not so many words told her he cared for her. She didn’t think she could take any more surprises so she would see if she could avoid Teal’c for the day. As for what he had said, she felt more uncertain of what she thought about Daniel now than before, but she knew she had to figure it out. The next time she saw Daniel things would be different one way or another whether it meant they were a couple or not.
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She felt him move next to her and she shifted to give him a little more space. He in turn situated himself and pulled her back to him. She laid her head on his shoulder and smiled pleasantly at how well she fit. It was sweet and it was simple. Just as she thought it would be. Still, as she listened to him sigh next to her and fall back to sleep she wondered what they had gotten themselves into. Not that she wanted to think about it right now. They would deal with that later. Still in the back of her mind she wondered if he would still love her just like this tomorrow.
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She wasn’t answering her earpiece and she wasn’t in her room. He had checked all her usual haunts and a couple more he thought she might have been hiding in, but the ship was too big. If she didn’t want to be found then she wouldn’t be. She was avoiding him and that scared him a bit. He had had time to think everything through and he knew what he wanted. What if she had done the same and they hadn’t come to the same conclusion? He knew Sam would scold him for worrying about something he couldn’t change, but he couldn’t help it. He wanted this, as strange as it may still sound. And apparently she was going to make him wait for whatever was going through her mind.
Or maybe not. He opened the door to his room and there looking out his window was Vala. She didn’t turn at first even though he knew she heard him enter. He shoved both his hands in his pockets and walked up behind her. “Should I ask how you got in here?”
“I could always get in, Daniel. I just knocked to be polite.” She turned her head toward him and he bent his head down and kissed her softly. “Plus if you want to be left alone, anywhere you like to hang out is a good place.” She flashed him a quick smile and turned back to the window.
“Bad day?” He was afraid to ask.
“Other than the little detail that we are stuck in a time dilation thingy, not really. Though I should warn you Cameron knows.”
“About us?”
“Mm-hm. He saw my exit and didn’t waste much time in giving me his opinion.”
“What did he have to say? It’s not any of his business.”
“No, but he made some good points.”
“Why do I feel like I’m not going to think they are “good” points?” He took a step back and sat back on his bed. He leaned forward and folded his hands in front of him.
She turned toward him and sat back in the chair that was below the window. “:I have no regrets about last night. I want you to understand that. And whatever you may think, I have never done that before. No matter what I felt about the man I had a relationship where there were always some other reasons I was with him. There was always a scam or a job or a…ori pregnancy or something. I was always the one to walk away at the end when I got what I needed. Last night was something completely different. I wanted it for no other reason than that I wanted you, Daniel. And I don’t know what to do with that exactly. I need time to figure all this out. I don’t want to hurt you and I am not looking to be hurt.” She took a deep breath and let it out slowly, looking down at the floor so she didn’t have to look at him.
He took one of his hands and gently placed it under her chin and made her look up. “I would never hurt you. I don’t know what changed last night, but when I said those things to you you were the person you’ve always been to me. You drive me absolutely crazy, but…I’ve spent all day today figuring out that I want crazy. I cannot apologize enough for saying those things. I was angry and frustrated about everything and you were my outlet I thought you would shrug it off like always. That isn’t an excuse. I’m not trying to give myself any. I crossed a line last night and I’m sorry.” He got off the bed and kneeled in front of her. He took her hands in his and squeezed them. “I was an ass. And I promise if you give me a chance I will never hurt you like that again. I don’t know what happened last night and I can’t tell you where my feelings came from, but they’re there. I don’t care if this is crazy. I don’t care if we are opposite. I need to see if this will work. I can give you as much time as you need, but don’t believe anything I said last night. I couldn’t have meant it. Did I believe that I could have any kind of serious feelings for you? I didn’t, but I do now. Last night I really couldn’t have imagined what a relationship with you would be like? And since I kissed you… all I can think about is having a relationship with you. I haven’t been sure about a lot over the years, but I am sure about this. Please just give this a chance.”
The corners of her mouth curved into a sad smile as a single tear fell down her skin. She slid the palm of her hands down his cheek. “You sweet and naïve man.” She slid down onto the floor in front of him. Their bodies were close enough that she could feel the heat come off of him and his breath on her face. “I’m not breaking up with you, if we could actually break up. I have wanted this for so long and I didn’t even know how much until last night. I’m just saying we need to take it slow for awhile. I want to do this right. Cameron was right about one thing. I’ve always needed your friendship and I can’t lose that.”
“You will never lose me. I’m yours.”
“Promise?”
“Cross my heart.” He ran one of his hands through her hair and leaned his forehead against hers.
“Then there is nothing to forgive.”
They laid on his bed for hours just talking about their pasts as they tried to understand each other in ways they never had. He told her about his parents, Sha’re, Janet and Sarah. How the loss of each affected him. How his own deaths had shaped him into the man he was.
She told him about her childhood. She told him about the man she had been engaged to when she was taken as a host and how Qetesh had made him her first victim. How when years later she went back home the people she had grown up with had thrown stones at her. She explained how the man who would have been her brother-in-law chased her for a year or so vowing he would see her dead and how in the end she had played a part in his death. He had taught her the art of running and after that it was all she knew to do.
It seemed easy to talk to each other, effortless. What had once been memories they tended to leave hid behind old wounds came out in a flow of words they now couldn’t stop. Yesterday they had been only colleagues and now they were spilling their deepest secrets.
.
He walked her to her room at the end of the night, part of the decision to take it slow. He kissed her deep and hard as they said goodnight and lingered as long as they could not wanting to leave the other’s company. He knew the feeling well, the ease of talking to someone you cared about and not wanting the moment to really end. For her, it was her first. Not even Tomin had quite been this easy to be with. It was natural as if they should have always had this relationship between them. They both wanted more and knew they couldn’t. He kissed her again and let his hand fall out of hers. She stepped into her room and right before the door shut her foot stopped it.
“What?” He flashed her a quick smile and all her reasoning was gone.
“You’ve never listened to me before, Daniel. Why start now.”
“Are you sure?”
“I’m sure.” He shoved his hands in his pockets and walked into her room as the door slid shut behind him. They didn’t need to go any further than that. He just held her all night. That was all she needed from him. They had expended enough passion the night before. Tonight was just what they wanted. They both needed nothing, but to feel the other behind them as they fell asleep together. It certainly wasn’t like any other relationship. One step forward and then three steps back. It wasn’t a normal relationship at all, but it was just what they needed. And it was theirs.
Chapter 4: kamiikiteiru.livejournal.com/12368.html#cutid1
Back to Chapters 1 and 2:http://kamiikiteiru.livejournal.com/10622.html#cutid2
Tonight you're mine completely
You give your love so sweetly
Tonight the light of love is in your eyes
But will you still love me tomorrow?
Rating: PG-13
Beta: I don't have one at the moment so forgive any errors.
Disclaimer: I don't own Stargate. I did not invent Stargate. I just like to play with it.
Author's Note: I never said I was a great writer. I just like to do it.
Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow?
The Asguard knowledge base illuminated the room all around him, but he paid no attention to it. He had spent a lot of time in this room by himself, learning what he felt he had to to preserve a race that had saved them on more than one occasion. This was his work for the time being and the only thing that kept him sane some days. It just wasn’t doing that at the moment. He had done nothing since turning the console on. Nothing, but think about her. He had been sitting on the floor with his back to a wall for the last hour or two trying to understand his own feelings. That morning he had felt incredible, waking up with her, the late breakfast they had had alone. For once since he had been stuck on this stupid ship he had felt content. Still, something bothered him.
His entire life had been consumed with understanding and defining what others did not. It was his passion to uncover the secrets of the past and understand the way of others lives. Cultures and why people thought and acted the way they did was his forte. So why was he completely stumped by his own emotions?
He had been trying to pinpoint a moment or a time when things had changed between them. Did he have feelings for her before last night or did it just kind of happen? And what about her? When had her games stopped being games? He would have never said any of that had he known she was serious. He didn’t think he would have ever let her into his bed either. He had surprised himself last night just as much as she had.
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Having had a late breakfast he wasn’t surprised to find himself alone for lunch. He had thought about finding Vala, but had decided not to. He had always felt comfortable being by himself. It gave him time to think. Usually he was knee deep in Asguard ideology and today he hadn’t even touched it. He would have to make himself after lunch to be at least halfway productive today.
He finished what was left of the sandwich he had made himself and was about to leave when Sam walked into the galley.
“Hey.” She smiled at him and pulled a bottle of water off the shelf.
“Hey.” He answered, returning her smile.
“What happened to you this morning? I was thinking about starting a search party when you didn’t turn up for coffee.” She sat down across from him, opened her water and took a drink.
“Slept in a bit I guess.” He momentarily looked down at his empty plate.
Which made Sam sit up and study him for a moment. “Daniel?”
“Sam.” He knew if he said anything else he would be getting himself into trouble.
With that she slammed her bottle down and leaned across the table. “You slept with Vala!”
“What?!” How in the world had she just come to that conclusion?
“Oh come on Daniel. I’ve known you for years. You are a horrible liar and you have that guy look.”
“What guy look?”
“The look! The look that says you definitely weren’t alone last night. And Since I know where I was…”
“I have no such look.” He looked away and tried to suppress whatever vibe he was giving off that told her what he had done the night before.
Sam in turn just stared at him with that trademark grin of hers.
In the end he couldn’t take it. “All right...yes.”
She picked her water back up and hit him with it playfully. “I tell you everything and you don’t tell me that you like Vala?”
“In my defense I didn’t quite know myself. Not until I kissed her.”
“When did you kiss her?”
“Just before we…”
“Uh-huh. So you just all of a sudden decided you had feelings for her and kissed her?”
“I wouldn’t exactly call it a decision. We had a fight, I said some things I shouldn’t have and hurt her feelings. I didn’t think I could hurt her feelings and then when I did…I don’t know all of a sudden I just kissed her.”
“Wow.”
“Understatement of the year believe me.”
“So does that make you two…”
“I think so.”
“I always knew she had a thing for you, but never did I think you would have one for her.”
“Wait, you knew she liked me?”
“Of course. Vala and I talk and it’s not hard to see how she acts around you.”
“Acts? She acts like she does with everyone else.”
“No, you just never seem to notice how much she has always needed your attention. Believe me Daniel.”
“Since when?”
“That I don’t know, but I definitely knew something was up after Adria captured you.”
“And you never thought to tell me.”
“I would never betray her confidence, Daniel, and besides did it really matter before yesterday?”
“No, I mean obviously a part of me must have been feeling something.”
“Well, you obviously don’t waste time.”
“I know and it kinda scares me. We both jumped in headfirst and it felt great, but we certainly weren’t thinking. We slept together before we even verbally acknowledged that we had a relationship. It’s crazy.”
“Yeah, but you’ve known each other for years, so it isn’t exactly like you needed a first date. She has always liked you, you obviously like her, so what’s the problem?”
“The problem…the problem is what if being stuck here has built op this heat of the moment kind of thing. What if in a week or a month one of us or both of us realize this isn’t working or that these are special circumstances that made us act irrationally or-”
“Daniel, stop.” She put one of her hands on top of his and smiled. “ Welcome back to the world of dating. You don’t know and that is the point. Maybe it will work and maybe it won’t, but don’t get ahead of yourself and worry about what you can’t change. Think about the now. Are you happy right now?”
He sighed and let go of all the thoughts that had been running through his mind. “Yes.”
“Do you want to be with her?”
“Yes.”
“Then be with her. That is all you need to know. Don’t over think everything.”
“That’s my job.”
“That’s why they say don’t take your work home with you.” She squeezed his hand and stood up to leave.
“Thanks Sam.”
“No problem, just give a girl some warning next time.” She smiled at him again and left him to his thoughts.
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The sweat on her body made her skin glimmer under the lights. This wasn’t her natural way to work up a sweat and it certainly wasn’t as fun, but what else was there to do? Running seemed to keep Cam busy and the gym room seemed to be in disuse today. Which is how she liked it since she needed time to think. She needed to clear her head a bit since a million different things were running through it. She didn’t like to feel out of whack. She liked it when her only problem was what color underwear to wear for the day. It was much simpler than a certain archeologist. Not that she was thinking about him…because she wasn’t.
“Don’t usually find you here.” The southern drawl from behind her caught her off guard and she faltered slightly. Hopefully Cameron hadn’t noticed. After him catching her exit this morning she had feared a little chat with the leader of SG-1 was going to come at some point.
“Hey.” She slowed the machine down to a brisk walk and took a quick drink of water. “Did you need something?” Quick and to the point as she hoped he would be since she wanted to be alone.
Cameron folded his arms across his chest and slowly walked over to her treadmill. “Naw, was on my way to a chess game when I passed by and was surprised to find you. Usually only Teal’c and I clear the dust in here.”
“Oh, yeah, well I guess I’m running…no pun intended…out of things to occupy me as you put it.”
He didn’t say anything as he leaned on the seat of one of the bikes and watched her. Pursing his lips in that way he did that told her he wasn’t just stopping by.
She turned the machine off and turned toward him, wiping the sweat off her face with a towel. “What?”
“Nothin.”
“Oh, don’t nothing me. I know exactly what you are up to, mister.”
“Really? Enlighten me.”
She stared at him for a minute and then folded her arms across her chest as he had done. He may be her superior in some ways, but she wasn’t in the mood to take his intimidation today. “Oh, don’t tell me you haven’t been practicing that little ‘leave Jackson alone’ speech all morning.”
“What you and Jackson do is none of my business.”
“You’re right, it’s not.”
“But…you both are a part of my team. I need us to work and relationships can make that difficult.”
“Right, because Daniel is your golden boy and I’m a distraction.”
“I didn’t say that.”
“You don’t need to.” She paused a moment, she tried to turn her thoughts into what she wanted to say. “I know I’ve caused problems. I know you probably don’t completely trust me, but you don’t have to worry about Daniel-”
Cam raised a hand to stop her. “I’m not worried…about Jackson. He’s a big boy and can take care of himself.”
“So what’s the problem, then?”
“I’m worried about you.”
“Me? Why me?” Now that caught her off guard.
“You…are not as tough as you want us to think you are.”
She tilted her head to one side and raised an eyebrow. “What do you kn-”
He interrupted her. “Will you shut up and let me say this.” He glanced at the floor and then back up at her. “I know first hand what something like this does to a friendship, especially one that you may rely on. You can’t ever go back. So watch yourself. I’m not trying to pretend to understand what happened between you two. But I do know that he’s been alone for a looong time and you feel more lost then you want us to know.”
She raised her eyebrow again, but he didn’t give her a chance to interrupt him. “I read every mission report you write. Reports differ depending on the writer. Teal’c, Sam’s and my reports are more military based. We keep it straight to the facts and the action. Jackson’s is more based on whatever new toy we found or archeological discovery, but yours…yours aren’t really reports. You put a little more in there then the rest of us-“ He took a step closer to her. “-and I can read between the lines. You put more into those files then you think. I know what you’ve been through because it is written on every page you have ever turned into me.”
Her eyes met the floor, uncomfortable that he was closer to the mark than he even knew.
“You depend on him a lot. So I don’t want to see you lose the only thing you feel you have…the only tie you think you have to us. Make sure this is what you want before either of you get deeper into this. If you are going to jump you better be damn sure that he is going to catch you, because if this goes south…you won’t have him to pick up the pieces this time.” He raised his hand as if to pat her shoulder, but didn’t. His hand fell back to his side and he sighed. “And that…is all I’m going to say about that. Now if you’ll excuse me I have a chess game to go lose.” He didn’t wait to see if she was going to look back up or say anything. They both were out of their comfort zones with each other. He just stood back up and started to walk away.
“Cameron?”
He turned back and glanced at her.
“Thank you and…Daniel isn’t the only one I feel I have here.”
“You’re welcome and…I wouldn’t have given Landry my permission for you to join SG-1 unless I completely trusted you.”
They stared at each other for a quick moment, a silent understanding passing between them. Then he nodded and left her to herself.
She stepped off the treadmill and stared in the direction of where he had been. Just when she thought the men on this team couldn’t surprise her anymore; Cameron Mitchell had just in not so many words told her he cared for her. She didn’t think she could take any more surprises so she would see if she could avoid Teal’c for the day. As for what he had said, she felt more uncertain of what she thought about Daniel now than before, but she knew she had to figure it out. The next time she saw Daniel things would be different one way or another whether it meant they were a couple or not.
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She felt him move next to her and she shifted to give him a little more space. He in turn situated himself and pulled her back to him. She laid her head on his shoulder and smiled pleasantly at how well she fit. It was sweet and it was simple. Just as she thought it would be. Still, as she listened to him sigh next to her and fall back to sleep she wondered what they had gotten themselves into. Not that she wanted to think about it right now. They would deal with that later. Still in the back of her mind she wondered if he would still love her just like this tomorrow.
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She wasn’t answering her earpiece and she wasn’t in her room. He had checked all her usual haunts and a couple more he thought she might have been hiding in, but the ship was too big. If she didn’t want to be found then she wouldn’t be. She was avoiding him and that scared him a bit. He had had time to think everything through and he knew what he wanted. What if she had done the same and they hadn’t come to the same conclusion? He knew Sam would scold him for worrying about something he couldn’t change, but he couldn’t help it. He wanted this, as strange as it may still sound. And apparently she was going to make him wait for whatever was going through her mind.
Or maybe not. He opened the door to his room and there looking out his window was Vala. She didn’t turn at first even though he knew she heard him enter. He shoved both his hands in his pockets and walked up behind her. “Should I ask how you got in here?”
“I could always get in, Daniel. I just knocked to be polite.” She turned her head toward him and he bent his head down and kissed her softly. “Plus if you want to be left alone, anywhere you like to hang out is a good place.” She flashed him a quick smile and turned back to the window.
“Bad day?” He was afraid to ask.
“Other than the little detail that we are stuck in a time dilation thingy, not really. Though I should warn you Cameron knows.”
“About us?”
“Mm-hm. He saw my exit and didn’t waste much time in giving me his opinion.”
“What did he have to say? It’s not any of his business.”
“No, but he made some good points.”
“Why do I feel like I’m not going to think they are “good” points?” He took a step back and sat back on his bed. He leaned forward and folded his hands in front of him.
She turned toward him and sat back in the chair that was below the window. “:I have no regrets about last night. I want you to understand that. And whatever you may think, I have never done that before. No matter what I felt about the man I had a relationship where there were always some other reasons I was with him. There was always a scam or a job or a…ori pregnancy or something. I was always the one to walk away at the end when I got what I needed. Last night was something completely different. I wanted it for no other reason than that I wanted you, Daniel. And I don’t know what to do with that exactly. I need time to figure all this out. I don’t want to hurt you and I am not looking to be hurt.” She took a deep breath and let it out slowly, looking down at the floor so she didn’t have to look at him.
He took one of his hands and gently placed it under her chin and made her look up. “I would never hurt you. I don’t know what changed last night, but when I said those things to you you were the person you’ve always been to me. You drive me absolutely crazy, but…I’ve spent all day today figuring out that I want crazy. I cannot apologize enough for saying those things. I was angry and frustrated about everything and you were my outlet I thought you would shrug it off like always. That isn’t an excuse. I’m not trying to give myself any. I crossed a line last night and I’m sorry.” He got off the bed and kneeled in front of her. He took her hands in his and squeezed them. “I was an ass. And I promise if you give me a chance I will never hurt you like that again. I don’t know what happened last night and I can’t tell you where my feelings came from, but they’re there. I don’t care if this is crazy. I don’t care if we are opposite. I need to see if this will work. I can give you as much time as you need, but don’t believe anything I said last night. I couldn’t have meant it. Did I believe that I could have any kind of serious feelings for you? I didn’t, but I do now. Last night I really couldn’t have imagined what a relationship with you would be like? And since I kissed you… all I can think about is having a relationship with you. I haven’t been sure about a lot over the years, but I am sure about this. Please just give this a chance.”
The corners of her mouth curved into a sad smile as a single tear fell down her skin. She slid the palm of her hands down his cheek. “You sweet and naïve man.” She slid down onto the floor in front of him. Their bodies were close enough that she could feel the heat come off of him and his breath on her face. “I’m not breaking up with you, if we could actually break up. I have wanted this for so long and I didn’t even know how much until last night. I’m just saying we need to take it slow for awhile. I want to do this right. Cameron was right about one thing. I’ve always needed your friendship and I can’t lose that.”
“You will never lose me. I’m yours.”
“Promise?”
“Cross my heart.” He ran one of his hands through her hair and leaned his forehead against hers.
“Then there is nothing to forgive.”
They laid on his bed for hours just talking about their pasts as they tried to understand each other in ways they never had. He told her about his parents, Sha’re, Janet and Sarah. How the loss of each affected him. How his own deaths had shaped him into the man he was.
She told him about her childhood. She told him about the man she had been engaged to when she was taken as a host and how Qetesh had made him her first victim. How when years later she went back home the people she had grown up with had thrown stones at her. She explained how the man who would have been her brother-in-law chased her for a year or so vowing he would see her dead and how in the end she had played a part in his death. He had taught her the art of running and after that it was all she knew to do.
It seemed easy to talk to each other, effortless. What had once been memories they tended to leave hid behind old wounds came out in a flow of words they now couldn’t stop. Yesterday they had been only colleagues and now they were spilling their deepest secrets.
.
He walked her to her room at the end of the night, part of the decision to take it slow. He kissed her deep and hard as they said goodnight and lingered as long as they could not wanting to leave the other’s company. He knew the feeling well, the ease of talking to someone you cared about and not wanting the moment to really end. For her, it was her first. Not even Tomin had quite been this easy to be with. It was natural as if they should have always had this relationship between them. They both wanted more and knew they couldn’t. He kissed her again and let his hand fall out of hers. She stepped into her room and right before the door shut her foot stopped it.
“What?” He flashed her a quick smile and all her reasoning was gone.
“You’ve never listened to me before, Daniel. Why start now.”
“Are you sure?”
“I’m sure.” He shoved his hands in his pockets and walked into her room as the door slid shut behind him. They didn’t need to go any further than that. He just held her all night. That was all she needed from him. They had expended enough passion the night before. Tonight was just what they wanted. They both needed nothing, but to feel the other behind them as they fell asleep together. It certainly wasn’t like any other relationship. One step forward and then three steps back. It wasn’t a normal relationship at all, but it was just what they needed. And it was theirs.
Chapter 4: kamiikiteiru.livejournal.com/12368.html#cutid1
Back to Chapters 1 and 2:http://kamiikiteiru.livejournal.com/10622.html#cutid2