Lessons learned
On Thursday, Kieran "graduated" from preschool. I put that in quotes because you don't actually graduate from preschool, but they made a big to-do about it anyway.
As parents, Chris and I disagree with the prevailing social custom of celebrating every little effort. Having a 5th grade "graduation" ceremony is asinine. You're EXPECTED to finish the 5th grade. It isn't a triumph, really.
If you condition a child to expect a celebration with every mundane/expected accomplishment, what will that teach him as an adult? That he should expect to be rewarded simply for being average? These actions only serve to undermine the value of hard work and striving for your personal best. For the less-motivated individual, how will that persuade him to reach for loftier goals? How does that encourage healthy competition?
Oh, but wait. "They" don't like competition. It makes the losers feel bad. There are no losers, only winners. Mediocrity is just fine, thank you.
The pacemaker in the heart of American society is set disappointingly low. This whole "feel good" mentality is crap. A couple of years ago at Thanksgiving I saw a poster of a group of Pilgrims around the Thanksgiving table. One of them was black. According to all historical accounts, there were no blacks on the Mayflower, and IF there were any blacks at Plymouth Plantation, they probably would have been slaves. So how did a black Pilgrim come into the picture?
Misrepresenting history for the sake of making other social groups feel included is just pathetic. History should be taught as it actually happened, not how people think it "should" have happened. Yeah, I know, history is often distorted in favor of the ones teaching it. But it shouldn't be. History is all about learning the facts. Otherwise, what's the point? I'm so tired of people who feel like we need to be spoon-fed, placated, helped in all aspects of our life. For an independent country, some people sure are good at making us feel more dependent than we should be.
Why can't celebrations only happen at special occasions, at the times when they really count? And why can't we, as parents, be counted on to praise and encourage our children enough along the way? I don't require anyone to step in and tell me when my child deserves acclaim.
So back to Kieran and his graduation. Philosophies aside, of course we went. The kids filed in to 'Pomp and Circumstance' and walked to their seats in front of the audience. Then every child sat down in their seat--every child but Kieran, who remained standing, looking around uncomfortably at his classmates, unsure of himself. But still he stood. Chris and I looked at each other, thinking what the hell is he doing? Then the teacher marched up and whispered, "stay standing!" and gestured for them all to get back on their feet. Kieran visibly relaxed. In that moment we were really proud of our son, not because he completed preschool, but because he didn't succumb to the herd mentality. Because he was brave enough in his conviction to stand alone.
The graduation was was sweet. They sang a bunch of songs then the kids were individually called up, presented with a diploma, and shook hands with their teacher. And afterward there was cake.
Kieran was proud of his accomplishment, but he's always proud of his accomplishments, celebration or no. And after two years of pre-K, he's more than ready to start Kindergarten. I hope he finds it challenging enough for him, and I hope he strives to do the very best he can.
As a parent, I will continue to love, encourage and nurture him, and to commend him when he deserves it. I will continue to teach him to respect everyone regardless of differences, and to always embrace the truth. And he will know that there were no black Pilgrims.
As parents, Chris and I disagree with the prevailing social custom of celebrating every little effort. Having a 5th grade "graduation" ceremony is asinine. You're EXPECTED to finish the 5th grade. It isn't a triumph, really.
If you condition a child to expect a celebration with every mundane/expected accomplishment, what will that teach him as an adult? That he should expect to be rewarded simply for being average? These actions only serve to undermine the value of hard work and striving for your personal best. For the less-motivated individual, how will that persuade him to reach for loftier goals? How does that encourage healthy competition?
Oh, but wait. "They" don't like competition. It makes the losers feel bad. There are no losers, only winners. Mediocrity is just fine, thank you.
The pacemaker in the heart of American society is set disappointingly low. This whole "feel good" mentality is crap. A couple of years ago at Thanksgiving I saw a poster of a group of Pilgrims around the Thanksgiving table. One of them was black. According to all historical accounts, there were no blacks on the Mayflower, and IF there were any blacks at Plymouth Plantation, they probably would have been slaves. So how did a black Pilgrim come into the picture?
Misrepresenting history for the sake of making other social groups feel included is just pathetic. History should be taught as it actually happened, not how people think it "should" have happened. Yeah, I know, history is often distorted in favor of the ones teaching it. But it shouldn't be. History is all about learning the facts. Otherwise, what's the point? I'm so tired of people who feel like we need to be spoon-fed, placated, helped in all aspects of our life. For an independent country, some people sure are good at making us feel more dependent than we should be.
Why can't celebrations only happen at special occasions, at the times when they really count? And why can't we, as parents, be counted on to praise and encourage our children enough along the way? I don't require anyone to step in and tell me when my child deserves acclaim.
So back to Kieran and his graduation. Philosophies aside, of course we went. The kids filed in to 'Pomp and Circumstance' and walked to their seats in front of the audience. Then every child sat down in their seat--every child but Kieran, who remained standing, looking around uncomfortably at his classmates, unsure of himself. But still he stood. Chris and I looked at each other, thinking what the hell is he doing? Then the teacher marched up and whispered, "stay standing!" and gestured for them all to get back on their feet. Kieran visibly relaxed. In that moment we were really proud of our son, not because he completed preschool, but because he didn't succumb to the herd mentality. Because he was brave enough in his conviction to stand alone.
The graduation was was sweet. They sang a bunch of songs then the kids were individually called up, presented with a diploma, and shook hands with their teacher. And afterward there was cake.
Kieran was proud of his accomplishment, but he's always proud of his accomplishments, celebration or no. And after two years of pre-K, he's more than ready to start Kindergarten. I hope he finds it challenging enough for him, and I hope he strives to do the very best he can.
As a parent, I will continue to love, encourage and nurture him, and to commend him when he deserves it. I will continue to teach him to respect everyone regardless of differences, and to always embrace the truth. And he will know that there were no black Pilgrims.