Haven't had one of these in a while
Dear snooty clients:
There seems to be a great deal of confusion about the exact process involved in leaving a voicemail for your attorney. Allow me to break said process down into a few simple steps for your convenience:
1. When the option of leaving a voicemail is presented, accept it.
2. Wait to be transfered to your attorney's voicemail.
3. Upon being transfered, wait for the tone indicating that the system is recording.
4. Record your message.
Please note that at no time during this process is it necessary to rehearse your message for the receptionist prior to being transfered. Doing so is, in fact, more or less a complete waste of time; your voicemail will render anything you say to her redundant and even if this were not the case, the receptionist is highly unlikely to remember anything you say due to the fact that you are not, contrary to popular belief, the only person who ever calls our office.
Please also note that the voicemail exists for the purpose of conveying your message to your chosen party. Refusing to leave a voicemail and instead insisting that reception take your detailed and complex message by hand while five other lines ring unattended will not speed the delivery of either your message or its return call in any way. However, doing so will succeed in getting you added to the invisible list that the receptionist keeps in her head titled "People To Throw In The Scorpion Pit When I Am Supreme Ruler Of This Trifling Planet".
I hope this has assisted in clarifying any confusion arising from the voicemail issue.
I remain yours respectfully,
The Receptionist
There seems to be a great deal of confusion about the exact process involved in leaving a voicemail for your attorney. Allow me to break said process down into a few simple steps for your convenience:
1. When the option of leaving a voicemail is presented, accept it.
2. Wait to be transfered to your attorney's voicemail.
3. Upon being transfered, wait for the tone indicating that the system is recording.
4. Record your message.
Please note that at no time during this process is it necessary to rehearse your message for the receptionist prior to being transfered. Doing so is, in fact, more or less a complete waste of time; your voicemail will render anything you say to her redundant and even if this were not the case, the receptionist is highly unlikely to remember anything you say due to the fact that you are not, contrary to popular belief, the only person who ever calls our office.
Please also note that the voicemail exists for the purpose of conveying your message to your chosen party. Refusing to leave a voicemail and instead insisting that reception take your detailed and complex message by hand while five other lines ring unattended will not speed the delivery of either your message or its return call in any way. However, doing so will succeed in getting you added to the invisible list that the receptionist keeps in her head titled "People To Throw In The Scorpion Pit When I Am Supreme Ruler Of This Trifling Planet".
I hope this has assisted in clarifying any confusion arising from the voicemail issue.
I remain yours respectfully,
The Receptionist