Gerard/bad decisions OTP
Ahahahahahahahaha, can we please talk about Bert and Gerard's break-up songs, and how much they both make me adore GERARD ARTHUR WAY? Oh man! I just saw the Used's video for Handsome Awkward, and those LYRICS. GERAAAAARD. (In case you hadn't guessed, this is going to be a tin-hat-tastic post with bonus capslock! Wheeee!)
OKAY SO SERIOUSLY THESE LYRICS.
Your dream vacation is my hostage refuge
MY EX-BOYFRIEND'S MORE SUCCESSFUL THAN ME A SELL-OUT!
A work in progress you bleed
YEAH, PRETTY MUCH
Just like you puke while running a mile!
LOL GERARD ISN'T THAT ATHLETIC.
I beg to differ, make me an offer
IDK?
Walks on the rain you bleed
IDK?
Just like you puke while running a mile
FATSO!
Are you okay?
BECAUSE THIS ONE TIME GERARD WROTE A SONG CALLED I'M NOT OKAY! GET IT? GET IT? BERT IS SUBTLE LIKE AN ANVIL.
You look pretty low!
OOH, DOUBLE ENTENDRE, NOT BAD! GERARD LOOKS KIND OF UPSET, OR HE LOOKS GOOD ON HIS KNEES? CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE, SAYS BERT.
Pretty handsome awkward.
No capslock, even, because seriously, if that does not describe our boy to a T, I don't know what does. He's pretty, he's handsome, he's awkward as all fuck. I guess "pretty, handsome, awkward, and nerdalicious" didn't really fit the meter! Oh, Bert, do you think these things are INSULTS? Awww. That's sort of sweet in its misguided-ness.
GUYS I LOVE IT, I LOVE IT. OHHH I'M LAUGHING OUT LOUD.
The video is priceless, too. It's - well, valerie_z says "Oh, Bert, your face is an anti-drug commercial," and yeah, pretty much. "GERARD, YOU PUSSY, YOU COULD HAVE HAD THIS SEXALICIOUS BOOTY, AND SIMULTANEOUSLY BEEN WASTED ENOUGH TO FIND THIS VIDEO WATCHABLE! REGRET YOUR BAD DECISIONS, MY GOOD FRIEND! AWWWW YEAH."
<3333333333333333
So hey, where's Gerard's break-up song? I mean, he hasn't been dropping hints about which one it is in major magazines and then backpedaling, or anything, so we have to do a little more detective work.
Well it rains and it pours
When you're out on your own
If I crash on the couch
Can I sleep in my clothes?
Hmmmmmm.
'Cause I've spent the night dancing
I'm drunk, I suppose
If it looks like I'm laughing
I'm really just asking to leave.
HMMMMMMMMM.
This alone, you're in time for the show
You're the one that I need
I'm the one that you loathe.
Yeah, pretty much. I'm not going to be TOO HASTY HERE, but I'm gonna go ahead and venture a guess that we might have found our tune. (BERT HATES GERARD NOW. THEY HAD A KIND OF SELF-DESTRUCTIVE RELATIONSHIP. BOOZE WAS INVOLVED. IT WASN'T GOOD. ALSO, THEY TOURED TOGETHER.)
You can watch me corrode like a beast in repose
'Cause I love all the poison
Away with the boys in the band.
Dude, this song isn't nearly as hilarious to capslock about! I think maybe it's because it's so much more self-deprecating and honest, and there's all that alcoholism stuff woven in. Also I love Gerard with all of my heart and soul, that might have something to do with it. But srsly, do I even need to spell this out? No, probably not. Poison, boys in the band, you get it, we can move on. Also this song is long and I am lazy. HIGHLIGHTS EDITION:
I've really been on a bender and it shows
So why don't you blow me...
a kiss before she goes?
AHAHAHAHAHAHA. OH MAN, BERT, GERARD JUST SAW YOUR FELLATIO-RELATED DOUBLE ENTENDRE AND RAISED YOU A SIGNIFICANT PAUSE. A+++++.
There's some other stuff too, but it's making me sad to think about, and plus I'm actually pretty shitty at interpreting lyrics that are any subtler than YOU LOOK PRETTY LOW. I don't know why, because I'm not at all bad with close readings of poems, but lyrics are just HARD for me. Why is that? I guess they're different skills, but come on, not that different. Whatever. LET'S FOCUS ON WHAT REALLY MATTERS HERE:
ARE YOU OKAY? YOU LOOK PRETTY LOW!
In conclusion, I wish more people would write fic where Bert/Gerard turns into another pairing (provided it doesn't completely villainize Bert, because that actually squicks me a bit in RPS, come on, real people aren't morally black or white), because oh man, that is an amazing amazing pair of break-up songs. THIS IS A GOLDMINE, PEOPLE! THIS IS A BEAUTIFUL BEAUTIFUL GAY GOLDMINE.
OKAY SO SERIOUSLY THESE LYRICS.
Your dream vacation is my hostage refuge
MY EX-BOYFRIEND'S MORE SUCCESSFUL THAN ME A SELL-OUT!
A work in progress you bleed
YEAH, PRETTY MUCH
Just like you puke while running a mile!
LOL GERARD ISN'T THAT ATHLETIC.
I beg to differ, make me an offer
IDK?
Walks on the rain you bleed
IDK?
Just like you puke while running a mile
FATSO!
Are you okay?
BECAUSE THIS ONE TIME GERARD WROTE A SONG CALLED I'M NOT OKAY! GET IT? GET IT? BERT IS SUBTLE LIKE AN ANVIL.
You look pretty low!
OOH, DOUBLE ENTENDRE, NOT BAD! GERARD LOOKS KIND OF UPSET, OR HE LOOKS GOOD ON HIS KNEES? CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE, SAYS BERT.
Pretty handsome awkward.
No capslock, even, because seriously, if that does not describe our boy to a T, I don't know what does. He's pretty, he's handsome, he's awkward as all fuck. I guess "pretty, handsome, awkward, and nerdalicious" didn't really fit the meter! Oh, Bert, do you think these things are INSULTS? Awww. That's sort of sweet in its misguided-ness.
GUYS I LOVE IT, I LOVE IT. OHHH I'M LAUGHING OUT LOUD.
The video is priceless, too. It's - well, valerie_z says "Oh, Bert, your face is an anti-drug commercial," and yeah, pretty much. "GERARD, YOU PUSSY, YOU COULD HAVE HAD THIS SEXALICIOUS BOOTY, AND SIMULTANEOUSLY BEEN WASTED ENOUGH TO FIND THIS VIDEO WATCHABLE! REGRET YOUR BAD DECISIONS, MY GOOD FRIEND! AWWWW YEAH."
<3333333333333333
So hey, where's Gerard's break-up song? I mean, he hasn't been dropping hints about which one it is in major magazines and then backpedaling, or anything, so we have to do a little more detective work.
Well it rains and it pours
When you're out on your own
If I crash on the couch
Can I sleep in my clothes?
Hmmmmmm.
'Cause I've spent the night dancing
I'm drunk, I suppose
If it looks like I'm laughing
I'm really just asking to leave.
HMMMMMMMMM.
This alone, you're in time for the show
You're the one that I need
I'm the one that you loathe.
Yeah, pretty much. I'm not going to be TOO HASTY HERE, but I'm gonna go ahead and venture a guess that we might have found our tune. (BERT HATES GERARD NOW. THEY HAD A KIND OF SELF-DESTRUCTIVE RELATIONSHIP. BOOZE WAS INVOLVED. IT WASN'T GOOD. ALSO, THEY TOURED TOGETHER.)
You can watch me corrode like a beast in repose
'Cause I love all the poison
Away with the boys in the band.
Dude, this song isn't nearly as hilarious to capslock about! I think maybe it's because it's so much more self-deprecating and honest, and there's all that alcoholism stuff woven in. Also I love Gerard with all of my heart and soul, that might have something to do with it. But srsly, do I even need to spell this out? No, probably not. Poison, boys in the band, you get it, we can move on. Also this song is long and I am lazy. HIGHLIGHTS EDITION:
I've really been on a bender and it shows
So why don't you blow me...
a kiss before she goes?
AHAHAHAHAHAHA. OH MAN, BERT, GERARD JUST SAW YOUR FELLATIO-RELATED DOUBLE ENTENDRE AND RAISED YOU A SIGNIFICANT PAUSE. A+++++.
There's some other stuff too, but it's making me sad to think about, and plus I'm actually pretty shitty at interpreting lyrics that are any subtler than YOU LOOK PRETTY LOW. I don't know why, because I'm not at all bad with close readings of poems, but lyrics are just HARD for me. Why is that? I guess they're different skills, but come on, not that different. Whatever. LET'S FOCUS ON WHAT REALLY MATTERS HERE:
ARE YOU OKAY? YOU LOOK PRETTY LOW!
In conclusion, I wish more people would write fic where Bert/Gerard turns into another pairing (provided it doesn't completely villainize Bert, because that actually squicks me a bit in RPS, come on, real people aren't morally black or white), because oh man, that is an amazing amazing pair of break-up songs. THIS IS A GOLDMINE, PEOPLE! THIS IS A BEAUTIFUL BEAUTIFUL GAY GOLDMINE.