Back from limbo!
Good lord! I didn't realize it's been 10 weeks since my last update! I'm SUCH a slacker! LOL I'm honestly afraid to look and see if I still have any friends left... If any of you are still there - thanks for sticking around! I haven't read my friends page in forever either, so you may be getting belated post responses - just so you know...
What's been happening with me?
Moving
I should have up and left back in May - dang it. I was planning the actual move for Sept 1. What I didn't know, and just found out is that all the year-round sites are reserved until next May, so basically no matter when I go down, I'd have to up and move when the snow birds come.
The plan was to be in a wall tent then move into a yurt when I could afford to buy one. Apparently this is more than a little unconventional. The tent camping sites are a) small, and b) have no water hookups. But they are shady. I planned to have a permanent RV site. Those are a) long and thin, and b) already reserved. But they are NOT shady. Also, yurts are so outside the norm that there is some doubt that they'll actually fit in a RV space.
*sigh*
Add to this the fact that if I move now, I'll have to leave Samson (my 80+ lb) dog with my parents. Again, the original plan was to leave him here until I could build a fence around my spot, for him. If I'm going to be somewhere temporarily, and I took him with me, he'd have to be tied up all the time, and I don't think that's fair to him. Either way, Jade most likely will not be a problem.
Of course, I could avoid most of the trouble by buying a RV. That, however, means a) a down payment b) a mortgage c) eventually having to purchase a vehicle to pull it d) still having to move it if I move on 9/1 e) still no permanent fence. There is also the hurricane concern. Most likely a yurt would stand up to a hurricane better than a RV. Yes I could move the RV, but therein lies problem c) purchasing another vehicle.
I'm sorry but, why is this so FUCKING hard???
All I want is to live in a community of naked folks - a simple thing really. But it's turned into this massive THING, and I'm exhausted just thinking about it.
I suppose I'll just have to wait until next May, to my great and utter disappointment. Which leads me to...
Homelife
I have finally, finally reached my breaking point. The idea of living in my parents house for another 11 months is just unthinkable. Last week, after being away on a week-long cruise, among the first words my father uttered to me upon returning was, an insult. I will admit that I cried myself to sleep that night. Upon waking I realized that I wouldn't accept that kind of treatment from a boyfriend/lover/husband etc, so why the hell did I have to accept it from my FATHER????
The answer, of course is, that I don't. Period. Needless to say, he DID NOT get a Father's Day card. Modest protest on my part, I didn't bother to tell him why, there is no point. The behavior will not change; I won't feel any better for the telling. I did though, feel guilty about not giving him a card. It's all in the wiring. *sigh*
I suppose eventually, he felt bad. I've barely spoken to him since. His way of apologizing is to ask me to help him with assorted electronic and computer problems. I suppose that means he respects my knowledge/competence. Whatever. A simple "I apologize for what I said" would work wonders. But the man does not apologize. Ever.
My mother is still slowly deteriorating. So much so that it's hard to remember who she was, over who she is now. She rarely shows any real emotion, it's all very flat. She's just kind of there. This is the worst disease EVER. If I ever get diagnosed, I'm killing myself. Think of it as euthanasia. The people I love (if there are any) should NOT have to witness nor remember me as a shell that looks like the person I was, but has no substance. I'm sure, like most, they would disagree. So be it.
Lifestyle
After viewing "Supersize Me", I realized my values were not in alignment with my actions as far as the food I ate was concerned. I realized that my values included healthy, sustainable, cruelty-free food - and my food choices were the exact opposite. So, I had a choice: adjust my values, my food choices, or ignore it all and live in denial. I chose to adjust my food choices. I stopped eating meat (both chicken and beef/pork etc), all fast food, refined white sugar, and ANYTHING with high fructose corn syrup, or gluten. All fruits and vegetables are organic, anything else has minimal to no processing, and any sweeting agents I use have a low glycemic index (My choice is agave nectar - delicious!). I have SO much more energy, am waking up at frikkin dawn, and I love the food I'm eating. Pretty good deal. LOL
The interesting thing, is once I got cleared of sugar (through NAET) and I just stopped eating it, I had NO cravings for it. It really is a biochemical reaction/cycle that is extremely hard to break - but once it's broken, it's GONE. I can look at tv commercials for desserts/candy whatever, see displays in shop windows, and supermarkets, and NOTHING, no desire whatsoever. It feels really good to be free.
Plus it seems I've lost some weight in the bargain. Nice perk, that.
What's been happening with me?
Moving
I should have up and left back in May - dang it. I was planning the actual move for Sept 1. What I didn't know, and just found out is that all the year-round sites are reserved until next May, so basically no matter when I go down, I'd have to up and move when the snow birds come.
The plan was to be in a wall tent then move into a yurt when I could afford to buy one. Apparently this is more than a little unconventional. The tent camping sites are a) small, and b) have no water hookups. But they are shady. I planned to have a permanent RV site. Those are a) long and thin, and b) already reserved. But they are NOT shady. Also, yurts are so outside the norm that there is some doubt that they'll actually fit in a RV space.
*sigh*
Add to this the fact that if I move now, I'll have to leave Samson (my 80+ lb) dog with my parents. Again, the original plan was to leave him here until I could build a fence around my spot, for him. If I'm going to be somewhere temporarily, and I took him with me, he'd have to be tied up all the time, and I don't think that's fair to him. Either way, Jade most likely will not be a problem.
Of course, I could avoid most of the trouble by buying a RV. That, however, means a) a down payment b) a mortgage c) eventually having to purchase a vehicle to pull it d) still having to move it if I move on 9/1 e) still no permanent fence. There is also the hurricane concern. Most likely a yurt would stand up to a hurricane better than a RV. Yes I could move the RV, but therein lies problem c) purchasing another vehicle.
I'm sorry but, why is this so FUCKING hard???
All I want is to live in a community of naked folks - a simple thing really. But it's turned into this massive THING, and I'm exhausted just thinking about it.
I suppose I'll just have to wait until next May, to my great and utter disappointment. Which leads me to...
Homelife
I have finally, finally reached my breaking point. The idea of living in my parents house for another 11 months is just unthinkable. Last week, after being away on a week-long cruise, among the first words my father uttered to me upon returning was, an insult. I will admit that I cried myself to sleep that night. Upon waking I realized that I wouldn't accept that kind of treatment from a boyfriend/lover/husband etc, so why the hell did I have to accept it from my FATHER????
The answer, of course is, that I don't. Period. Needless to say, he DID NOT get a Father's Day card. Modest protest on my part, I didn't bother to tell him why, there is no point. The behavior will not change; I won't feel any better for the telling. I did though, feel guilty about not giving him a card. It's all in the wiring. *sigh*
I suppose eventually, he felt bad. I've barely spoken to him since. His way of apologizing is to ask me to help him with assorted electronic and computer problems. I suppose that means he respects my knowledge/competence. Whatever. A simple "I apologize for what I said" would work wonders. But the man does not apologize. Ever.
My mother is still slowly deteriorating. So much so that it's hard to remember who she was, over who she is now. She rarely shows any real emotion, it's all very flat. She's just kind of there. This is the worst disease EVER. If I ever get diagnosed, I'm killing myself. Think of it as euthanasia. The people I love (if there are any) should NOT have to witness nor remember me as a shell that looks like the person I was, but has no substance. I'm sure, like most, they would disagree. So be it.
Lifestyle
After viewing "Supersize Me", I realized my values were not in alignment with my actions as far as the food I ate was concerned. I realized that my values included healthy, sustainable, cruelty-free food - and my food choices were the exact opposite. So, I had a choice: adjust my values, my food choices, or ignore it all and live in denial. I chose to adjust my food choices. I stopped eating meat (both chicken and beef/pork etc), all fast food, refined white sugar, and ANYTHING with high fructose corn syrup, or gluten. All fruits and vegetables are organic, anything else has minimal to no processing, and any sweeting agents I use have a low glycemic index (My choice is agave nectar - delicious!). I have SO much more energy, am waking up at frikkin dawn, and I love the food I'm eating. Pretty good deal. LOL
The interesting thing, is once I got cleared of sugar (through NAET) and I just stopped eating it, I had NO cravings for it. It really is a biochemical reaction/cycle that is extremely hard to break - but once it's broken, it's GONE. I can look at tv commercials for desserts/candy whatever, see displays in shop windows, and supermarkets, and NOTHING, no desire whatsoever. It feels really good to be free.
Plus it seems I've lost some weight in the bargain. Nice perk, that.