Sunday...Sunday something that contains Machiavellian acpuncturists.
THAT'S RIGHT, I'M BACK, BITCHES
Oh. Wait. I already articulated my arriver-ist tendencies just about six weeks ago, didn't I? Well, perhaps with repetition the tendency to post shall become more regular.
First of all, flist, a plea: I am far behind on Blackest Night. Can anyone provide me with a comprehensive reading list showing in what order I should read what? A DETAILED one as befits a serious consumer of Green Lantern and Blackest Night continuity?
I'm fighting a stomach bug that has reduced me to eating hot rice cereal, rice cakes, rice milk, and more rice-based products than I EVER hoped to consume within a forty-eight hour period, so this entry will be mostly internet-generated content that I had aught to do with! It's image heavy, as per my usual Sunday tendencies, so if you don't like it...scroll on by.
Speaking of stomach bugs, yesterday HOT DR. BALE gave me an herbal mixture to combat whatever beasts are currently gestating in my GI tract, and flist? I have swallowed some horrific concoctions in my time, things that would repulse even the most open-minded gastronome or willing patient-just-diagnosed-with-a-fatal-disease: reduction of kava kava. Unadulterated valerian root. Overcooked and rotting brussel sprouts. Swedish meatballs in horrible Scandinavian white sauce.
But the herbal mixture that HOT DR. BALE sent me home with? I measured out a dose last night, mixed it with water, started to drink it, and almost threw the glass across the kitchen. Why? Because it literally felt like flaming sewage was traversing gaily down my throat. It gave me instant heartburn. My esophagus instantly put me on notice of pending emergency evacuation.
It was miserable.
Now, I'm no pussy when it comes to Chinese medicine and Western/Eclectic herbalism. I will drink the foulest shit in the knowledge that it will do me good, and therefore am pretty immune to shock and awe when it comes to what HOT DR. BALE and his TCM ilk can dish out.
I can only surmise that my remedy was in revenge for the following two exchanges that occurred some weeks apart during my absence from LJ:
INTERIOR: HOT DR. BALE'S SANCTUM SANTORUM, SOME WEEKS AGO:
kali921: *enters, being careful to jingle the entryway bell and close the door loudly so that the resident healers know that she is present and here for her appointment*
INTERIOR: HOT DR. BALE'S SANCTUM SANTORUM, SOME FIVE MINUTES LATER
HOT DR. BALE: *ambles into the waiting room and, upon seeing kali921, does a triple take*
kali921: *regards HOT DR. BALE with a comingling of quiet amusement and surprise*
HOT DR. BALE: You always do this ninja thing with me.
kali921: What do you mean?
HOT DR. BALE: It's the way you sneak in the door. It's NINJA.
kali921: I actually rang the entry bell and slammed the door when I came in just now because I know you're in back with other patients.
HOT DR. BALE: You did not.
kali921: Did.
HOT DR. BALE: Don't look at me like that. My hearing is fine.
INTERIOR: HOT DR. BALE'S SANCTUM SANTORUM, SOMEWHAT MORE RECENTLY THAN SOME WEEKS AGO:
kali921 and HOT DR. BALE are conversing in the waiting room post-needle treatment.
kali921: So, your mother's seventy-fifth birthday bash back in Connecticut - does she think of you as the black sheep of the family? I bet she does. Am I right?
HOT DR. BALE: *proceeds to startle, drop the folder he's carrying and, while bending over to retrieve his folder, leg sweeps an entire step-file full of folders off of his desk*
kali921: WOW! I see a prospective heel of Achilles!
HOT DR. BALE: Discombobulation does not begin to cover this.
I thought all was well after this, and was lulled into a clearly false sense of complacency as befits the healer-patient relationship, but yesterday was clearly his revenge. The last-word-icing on the Gateau de Revenge? He's conveniently out of town for the next two days, so I'm to suffer napalm three times a day until his return.
Oh, he planned this. Yes, he did.
And now to the pictorial portion of our entry!
So, by now everyone in comics fandom knows that in April Marvel will be killing off all the Avengers titles and replacing them with something more "bombastic" - and whilst I'm horrified that Brian Michael Bendis is writing three out of the four final issues of the four existing Avengers titles, by the Olives of Oshtur* are some pretty covers coming out of this Second Bendis-Wrought Ragnarok of the Earth's Mightiest Heroes:
To wit: David Yardin's cover to the last issue of Avengers: The Initiative:
LOOK at that Tigra. Notice that her breasts are affected by gravity. Notice her conspicuous lack of hyper-sexualized pose. Note how her derriere is not thrust into the air in a freakish approximation of a cat in heat. Notice her powerful build. Note her expression - confident, authoritative. Note how this takes us all the way back to the last time we saw a Tigra like this, that being Christina Z's Tigra mini from some years ago. Not the lack of anything approaching low self-esteem that is so evocatively conveyed simply by the way she's standing.
Half the complaining in the feminist comics blogsphere - and I'm one of the louder ones when it comes to how female characters are portrayed by the Big Two - would cease if female characters were rendered this way more often. There's an entire story behind this picture that contradicts all the bullshit weepy and victimized Tigra we've seen over the last few years. I never thought I'd see a Tigra like this again. So, David Yardin, THANK YOU.
There's also this luscious Adi Granov cover of Vision:
Cover to Thunderbolts #143. No, I don't know why Vision is here either, but it's gorgeous:
Both of those images are poster-worthy in my mind. MAKE IT HAPPEN, OVERLORDS AT DISVEL.
Then there's the Hero Initiative project where Marvel let artists do 100 variant covers of Wolverine: Weapon X. I hadn't seen the entire collection until now, and I invite you to closely examine the guest stars on this cover:
Variant cover by Ed Hannigan:
I'll be posting more of the covers.
Meanwhile, back in the Subjective Experience of What We Call the "Real World," this is the BEST Threadless t-shirt EVAH. Finally! Velma and Scoobs as envisioned by Tarantino!
SOLD. Me want. Badly.
I know you've all probably been squeeing about this for weeks and weeks now, but the red band trailer for Kick-Ass? The one with Hit-Girl?
WHAT IN BLUE PURPLE BLAZES!!
The sight of a child wreaking so much violence - particularly since it's a character created by Mark Millar - should be profane, disgusting, disturbing. Particularly, again, knowing that it's based on a Millar vehicle.
But it's not. I love this trailer to itty bitty violent violet bits, and I cannot wait to see the film. I was already cautiously sliding into the "Well, I'll just torrent see the film when it comes out rather than wait for the DVD," but all of the other trailers for Kick-Ass have convinced me that the film crew wisely differentiated the film from the source work by injecting humor that is actually funny. And c'mon, Big Daddy is SO Midnighter, not Batman.
Finally, this:
Fandom speculated that we'd get them, and apparently we were right:
White Lanterns. YEAH, BABY.
* Please note that the Olives of Oshtur are NOT an actual food product of the Vishanti, although I'd wager that Oshtur would enjoy a nice plate of salt-cured kalamatas.**
** Olives are one of the few life necessities that HOT DR. BALE has not stripped from my diet. I curse the gods often about the fact that I can no longer drink hot ginger tea or liberally use cardamon when I wanna.
Oh. Wait. I already articulated my arriver-ist tendencies just about six weeks ago, didn't I? Well, perhaps with repetition the tendency to post shall become more regular.
First of all, flist, a plea: I am far behind on Blackest Night. Can anyone provide me with a comprehensive reading list showing in what order I should read what? A DETAILED one as befits a serious consumer of Green Lantern and Blackest Night continuity?
I'm fighting a stomach bug that has reduced me to eating hot rice cereal, rice cakes, rice milk, and more rice-based products than I EVER hoped to consume within a forty-eight hour period, so this entry will be mostly internet-generated content that I had aught to do with! It's image heavy, as per my usual Sunday tendencies, so if you don't like it...scroll on by.
Speaking of stomach bugs, yesterday HOT DR. BALE gave me an herbal mixture to combat whatever beasts are currently gestating in my GI tract, and flist? I have swallowed some horrific concoctions in my time, things that would repulse even the most open-minded gastronome or willing patient-just-diagnosed-with-a-fatal-disease: reduction of kava kava. Unadulterated valerian root. Overcooked and rotting brussel sprouts. Swedish meatballs in horrible Scandinavian white sauce.
But the herbal mixture that HOT DR. BALE sent me home with? I measured out a dose last night, mixed it with water, started to drink it, and almost threw the glass across the kitchen. Why? Because it literally felt like flaming sewage was traversing gaily down my throat. It gave me instant heartburn. My esophagus instantly put me on notice of pending emergency evacuation.
It was miserable.
Now, I'm no pussy when it comes to Chinese medicine and Western/Eclectic herbalism. I will drink the foulest shit in the knowledge that it will do me good, and therefore am pretty immune to shock and awe when it comes to what HOT DR. BALE and his TCM ilk can dish out.
I can only surmise that my remedy was in revenge for the following two exchanges that occurred some weeks apart during my absence from LJ:
INTERIOR: HOT DR. BALE'S SANCTUM SANTORUM, SOME WEEKS AGO:
kali921: *enters, being careful to jingle the entryway bell and close the door loudly so that the resident healers know that she is present and here for her appointment*
INTERIOR: HOT DR. BALE'S SANCTUM SANTORUM, SOME FIVE MINUTES LATER
HOT DR. BALE: *ambles into the waiting room and, upon seeing kali921, does a triple take*
kali921: *regards HOT DR. BALE with a comingling of quiet amusement and surprise*
HOT DR. BALE: You always do this ninja thing with me.
kali921: What do you mean?
HOT DR. BALE: It's the way you sneak in the door. It's NINJA.
kali921: I actually rang the entry bell and slammed the door when I came in just now because I know you're in back with other patients.
HOT DR. BALE: You did not.
kali921: Did.
HOT DR. BALE: Don't look at me like that. My hearing is fine.
INTERIOR: HOT DR. BALE'S SANCTUM SANTORUM, SOMEWHAT MORE RECENTLY THAN SOME WEEKS AGO:
kali921 and HOT DR. BALE are conversing in the waiting room post-needle treatment.
kali921: So, your mother's seventy-fifth birthday bash back in Connecticut - does she think of you as the black sheep of the family? I bet she does. Am I right?
HOT DR. BALE: *proceeds to startle, drop the folder he's carrying and, while bending over to retrieve his folder, leg sweeps an entire step-file full of folders off of his desk*
kali921: WOW! I see a prospective heel of Achilles!
HOT DR. BALE: Discombobulation does not begin to cover this.
I thought all was well after this, and was lulled into a clearly false sense of complacency as befits the healer-patient relationship, but yesterday was clearly his revenge. The last-word-icing on the Gateau de Revenge? He's conveniently out of town for the next two days, so I'm to suffer napalm three times a day until his return.
Oh, he planned this. Yes, he did.
And now to the pictorial portion of our entry!
So, by now everyone in comics fandom knows that in April Marvel will be killing off all the Avengers titles and replacing them with something more "bombastic" - and whilst I'm horrified that Brian Michael Bendis is writing three out of the four final issues of the four existing Avengers titles, by the Olives of Oshtur* are some pretty covers coming out of this Second Bendis-Wrought Ragnarok of the Earth's Mightiest Heroes:
To wit: David Yardin's cover to the last issue of Avengers: The Initiative:
LOOK at that Tigra. Notice that her breasts are affected by gravity. Notice her conspicuous lack of hyper-sexualized pose. Note how her derriere is not thrust into the air in a freakish approximation of a cat in heat. Notice her powerful build. Note her expression - confident, authoritative. Note how this takes us all the way back to the last time we saw a Tigra like this, that being Christina Z's Tigra mini from some years ago. Not the lack of anything approaching low self-esteem that is so evocatively conveyed simply by the way she's standing.
Half the complaining in the feminist comics blogsphere - and I'm one of the louder ones when it comes to how female characters are portrayed by the Big Two - would cease if female characters were rendered this way more often. There's an entire story behind this picture that contradicts all the bullshit weepy and victimized Tigra we've seen over the last few years. I never thought I'd see a Tigra like this again. So, David Yardin, THANK YOU.
There's also this luscious Adi Granov cover of Vision:
Cover to Thunderbolts #143. No, I don't know why Vision is here either, but it's gorgeous:
Both of those images are poster-worthy in my mind. MAKE IT HAPPEN, OVERLORDS AT DISVEL.
Then there's the Hero Initiative project where Marvel let artists do 100 variant covers of Wolverine: Weapon X. I hadn't seen the entire collection until now, and I invite you to closely examine the guest stars on this cover:
Variant cover by Ed Hannigan:
I'll be posting more of the covers.
Meanwhile, back in the Subjective Experience of What We Call the "Real World," this is the BEST Threadless t-shirt EVAH. Finally! Velma and Scoobs as envisioned by Tarantino!
SOLD. Me want. Badly.
I know you've all probably been squeeing about this for weeks and weeks now, but the red band trailer for Kick-Ass? The one with Hit-Girl?
WHAT IN BLUE PURPLE BLAZES!!
Click to viewThe sight of a child wreaking so much violence - particularly since it's a character created by Mark Millar - should be profane, disgusting, disturbing. Particularly, again, knowing that it's based on a Millar vehicle.
But it's not. I love this trailer to itty bitty violent violet bits, and I cannot wait to see the film. I was already cautiously sliding into the "Well, I'll just torrent see the film when it comes out rather than wait for the DVD," but all of the other trailers for Kick-Ass have convinced me that the film crew wisely differentiated the film from the source work by injecting humor that is actually funny. And c'mon, Big Daddy is SO Midnighter, not Batman.
Finally, this:
Fandom speculated that we'd get them, and apparently we were right:
White Lanterns. YEAH, BABY.
* Please note that the Olives of Oshtur are NOT an actual food product of the Vishanti, although I'd wager that Oshtur would enjoy a nice plate of salt-cured kalamatas.**
** Olives are one of the few life necessities that HOT DR. BALE has not stripped from my diet. I curse the gods often about the fact that I can no longer drink hot ginger tea or liberally use cardamon when I wanna.