We have just enough dust mites to make us hate, but not enough to make us love dusting
I'm tired of waking up with headaches. They seem to come and go. I was just diagnosed with a severe allergy to dust mites, which might be the explanation for how miserable I feel when I'm in my bedroom and how even though I eat the kind of diet that might as well be a perma-cleanse 24/7 (I HAVE NOT HAD ANY SUGAR IN OVER SEVEN WEEKS. OTHER THAN THE AGAVE NECTAR IN HAZELNUT MILK. NOTHING. NO VEGAN CUPCAKES, NOTHING, NADA, NIL, NULL), I still find myself short of breath when I bother to lay around on my bed and watch TV.
So I now have to research and find a HEPA vacuum for home use (one that actually WORKS), get a new mattress, get mite-proof bedding, and do a whole bunch of other stuff that I don't have the energy to do. Including dusting. I hate dusting more than I hate doing laundry, and I hate laundry more than I hate the assholes that make children mine for blood diamonds and those Russians that club baby seals. DO YOU UNDERSTAND THE MIGHTY CONFLAGRATION OF MY HATRED, FLIST?
However, today I'm going to do a first here: recommend a product.
I've been icing my ankle and knee a lot due to the previously mentioned truly Byzantine machinations of the MARQUIS DE DOLEUR. ("Balance on your right foot with your eyes closed and extend your left leg up behind your left hip while keeping your pelvis level; hold that pose for five minutes AND do a set of ten squats to pass the time. No, hold your hands down at your sides to make it more difficult. I SAID AT YOUR SIDES. Now, while doing all of that, explain clearly the Higgs mechanism and how it relates to unified field theory while doing a set of one hundred Kegels. Did you hear me the first time when I said to keep your right knee behind your second toe? No? BEHIND YOUR SECOND TOE.")
Anyway, due the Closed System of Pain Distribution (cue Hank Pym after Decimation asking "WHERE DID ALL THAT ENERGY PAIN GO? IT HAD TO GO SOMEWHERE") that apparently governs my physical self, if my ankle and knee are getting better, that means that of course while I'm bending over in a yoga pose (straight out of Cosmo's Sex Position of the Day - I lacked only a partner to make this move something that 4chan would probably post endlessly on /b/) to get my ice wrap around my right ankle, I pull a muscle in my back. Normally I conquer such minor injuries with ice, Advil, and some serious face-to-face time with Traumeel cream (this also may or may not require a Cosmo Sex Pose of the Day).
Since I had a doctor's appointment the next day anyway, my wise physician promptly told me to start swallowing this stuff thrice daily. I've known about the strongly anti-inflammatory properties of turmeric due to an interest in herbalism and Ayurvedic medicine and the quite excellent research that's been done testing standardized turmeric extract's efficacy in treating sports injury.
By Hippocrates' left quad, it WORKS. I'm not totally better yet, but the pain level is down by at least sixty percent.
Um. Now I have to link to something that kind of caused a conniption fit:
Ryan Reynolds lands the starring role of Green Lantern.
Uh.
Well.
At least it wasn't Jared Leto or Justin Timberlake? Who were also both being considered?
There's 231 comments to that announcement of people variously pissed off and nodding in satisfaction.
Let me put it this way:
Ryan Reynolds as a scarred-up cancer-having fubared-beyond-all-recognition anti-hero in the upcoming Deadpool film? Yes, please!
Ryan Reynolds as Hal Jordan? Perhaps it's because I can't see Ryan Reynolds recite the oath of the Green Lantern Corps, or that I can't see him taking the job seriously, or that I can't see Ryan Reynolds being anything but a snidely cocky version of Hal without the giant cojones that it takes to embody the Green Lantern of Sector 2814. I can't see Reynolds mustering up the imagination and intellect to think his way through the universe with his ring - dude just cannot play that kind of raw will.
Can you see Abin Sur picking Ryan Reynolds to be a Green Lantern?
No. Sorry. I can't see Reynolds doing this:
Or this:
Can you conceptualize the amount of intellectual acumen and sheer force of presence it takes to manifest your own army of avatars?
That's right, motherfuckers.
No, Mr. Reynolds. You lack everything that constitutes the core traits of Hal Jordan. You just aren't awesome enough. No go back to thinking in little yellow text boxes and stay away from Hal.
(Hal haters need not bring the asperity to this post. Because I'm cranky enough today to reach through your monitor and punch you in the face. Hard.)
So, to cheer myself up, I bring you this.
I'm not normally one for men in suit drag, but I will admit that some men wear a tux exceptionally well.
Matthew Goode is one of those men:
...Words fail. Wow. Cheekbones, eyes, attitude. If they ever decide to remake the Thin Man films, I would like to propose that Matthew Goode would be perfect for the part - and I say this as a person who 1) is normally indifferent to Matthew Goode and 2) that thinks that William Powell and Myrna Loy's Thin Man films are sacrosanct and that anyone who thinks differently should be removed from the gene pool via flamethrower.
Unf.
Yeah. I'll be in my bunk.
I keep forgetting that Warp Records has a YouTube channel. Yesterday I was sifting through Warp's official clips, and I found THIS video of Leila performing Sush at the Sonar 2008 festival in Barcelona - and you know why this made my jaw drap? I never noticed this before, but Leila looks a lot like my mother when my mother was young.
Also, triptastic visuals - here's an avatar of my Mom making people dance:
She really gets going at about 0:54 in.
It's pretty freaky when you're dancing around to music, look up, and see YOUR MOM running the sound array. Also, man, does she have a lot of equipment or what?
In news that makes me gleeful:
The trailer to Banlieue 13: Ultimatum, aka David Belle and Cyril Raffaelli continue their Bromance of Righteous Evasions and Beatdowns in a Dystopian Future Paris:
...Which looks to be more of David Belle running around people and Cyril Raffaelli running through them. (I still put forth that Cyrill Raffaelli taking down THREE FLOORS worth of thuggery in Banlieue 13 while exhibiting an astonishing amount of French savoir-faire while so doing AND while wearing a purple silk dress shirt remains a critical apogee of world cinema, an unassailable benchmark.)
Oh, you don't believe me? 2:58: resign thyself to being pwned:
Gun fu, casino table fu, shotokan bad-assery, wushu, parkour, stairway fu, OUCH:
TRACE THAT.
I would like to remind you all that Banlieue 13 is a film where Cyril Raffaelli took out six people with a steering wheel.
FLIST! What does it say about me that I do my yoga stretches while watching films like Banlieue 13 or episodes of Dexter?
So I now have to research and find a HEPA vacuum for home use (one that actually WORKS), get a new mattress, get mite-proof bedding, and do a whole bunch of other stuff that I don't have the energy to do. Including dusting. I hate dusting more than I hate doing laundry, and I hate laundry more than I hate the assholes that make children mine for blood diamonds and those Russians that club baby seals. DO YOU UNDERSTAND THE MIGHTY CONFLAGRATION OF MY HATRED, FLIST?
However, today I'm going to do a first here: recommend a product.
I've been icing my ankle and knee a lot due to the previously mentioned truly Byzantine machinations of the MARQUIS DE DOLEUR. ("Balance on your right foot with your eyes closed and extend your left leg up behind your left hip while keeping your pelvis level; hold that pose for five minutes AND do a set of ten squats to pass the time. No, hold your hands down at your sides to make it more difficult. I SAID AT YOUR SIDES. Now, while doing all of that, explain clearly the Higgs mechanism and how it relates to unified field theory while doing a set of one hundred Kegels. Did you hear me the first time when I said to keep your right knee behind your second toe? No? BEHIND YOUR SECOND TOE.")
Anyway, due the Closed System of Pain Distribution (cue Hank Pym after Decimation asking "WHERE DID ALL THAT ENERGY PAIN GO? IT HAD TO GO SOMEWHERE") that apparently governs my physical self, if my ankle and knee are getting better, that means that of course while I'm bending over in a yoga pose (straight out of Cosmo's Sex Position of the Day - I lacked only a partner to make this move something that 4chan would probably post endlessly on /b/) to get my ice wrap around my right ankle, I pull a muscle in my back. Normally I conquer such minor injuries with ice, Advil, and some serious face-to-face time with Traumeel cream (this also may or may not require a Cosmo Sex Pose of the Day).
Since I had a doctor's appointment the next day anyway, my wise physician promptly told me to start swallowing this stuff thrice daily. I've known about the strongly anti-inflammatory properties of turmeric due to an interest in herbalism and Ayurvedic medicine and the quite excellent research that's been done testing standardized turmeric extract's efficacy in treating sports injury.
By Hippocrates' left quad, it WORKS. I'm not totally better yet, but the pain level is down by at least sixty percent.
Um. Now I have to link to something that kind of caused a conniption fit:
Ryan Reynolds lands the starring role of Green Lantern.
Uh.
Well.
At least it wasn't Jared Leto or Justin Timberlake? Who were also both being considered?
There's 231 comments to that announcement of people variously pissed off and nodding in satisfaction.
Let me put it this way:
Ryan Reynolds as a scarred-up cancer-having fubared-beyond-all-recognition anti-hero in the upcoming Deadpool film? Yes, please!
Ryan Reynolds as Hal Jordan? Perhaps it's because I can't see Ryan Reynolds recite the oath of the Green Lantern Corps, or that I can't see him taking the job seriously, or that I can't see Ryan Reynolds being anything but a snidely cocky version of Hal without the giant cojones that it takes to embody the Green Lantern of Sector 2814. I can't see Reynolds mustering up the imagination and intellect to think his way through the universe with his ring - dude just cannot play that kind of raw will.
Can you see Abin Sur picking Ryan Reynolds to be a Green Lantern?
No. Sorry. I can't see Reynolds doing this:
Or this:
Can you conceptualize the amount of intellectual acumen and sheer force of presence it takes to manifest your own army of avatars?
That's right, motherfuckers.
No, Mr. Reynolds. You lack everything that constitutes the core traits of Hal Jordan. You just aren't awesome enough. No go back to thinking in little yellow text boxes and stay away from Hal.
(Hal haters need not bring the asperity to this post. Because I'm cranky enough today to reach through your monitor and punch you in the face. Hard.)
So, to cheer myself up, I bring you this.
I'm not normally one for men in suit drag, but I will admit that some men wear a tux exceptionally well.
Matthew Goode is one of those men:
...Words fail. Wow. Cheekbones, eyes, attitude. If they ever decide to remake the Thin Man films, I would like to propose that Matthew Goode would be perfect for the part - and I say this as a person who 1) is normally indifferent to Matthew Goode and 2) that thinks that William Powell and Myrna Loy's Thin Man films are sacrosanct and that anyone who thinks differently should be removed from the gene pool via flamethrower.
Unf.
Yeah. I'll be in my bunk.
I keep forgetting that Warp Records has a YouTube channel. Yesterday I was sifting through Warp's official clips, and I found THIS video of Leila performing Sush at the Sonar 2008 festival in Barcelona - and you know why this made my jaw drap? I never noticed this before, but Leila looks a lot like my mother when my mother was young.
Also, triptastic visuals - here's an avatar of my Mom making people dance:
Click to viewShe really gets going at about 0:54 in.
It's pretty freaky when you're dancing around to music, look up, and see YOUR MOM running the sound array. Also, man, does she have a lot of equipment or what?
In news that makes me gleeful:
The trailer to Banlieue 13: Ultimatum, aka David Belle and Cyril Raffaelli continue their Bromance of Righteous Evasions and Beatdowns in a Dystopian Future Paris:
...Which looks to be more of David Belle running around people and Cyril Raffaelli running through them. (I still put forth that Cyrill Raffaelli taking down THREE FLOORS worth of thuggery in Banlieue 13 while exhibiting an astonishing amount of French savoir-faire while so doing AND while wearing a purple silk dress shirt remains a critical apogee of world cinema, an unassailable benchmark.)
Oh, you don't believe me? 2:58: resign thyself to being pwned:
Gun fu, casino table fu, shotokan bad-assery, wushu, parkour, stairway fu, OUCH:
TRACE THAT.
I would like to remind you all that Banlieue 13 is a film where Cyril Raffaelli took out six people with a steering wheel.
FLIST! What does it say about me that I do my yoga stretches while watching films like Banlieue 13 or episodes of Dexter?