Cosmic Consonance on $5 a Day: lemme break it down for you, okay?
In light of this, please sit back and enjoy the story of Norrin Radd, courtesy of Brian Michael Bendis:*
There's this guy, this.. like, this really, really big guy. And I don't mean big like Drax was big. Pre-Annihilation Drax, I mean. Big and dumb and energy-blasting Drax, that one. No, this guy is way bigger. He's like Celestial-big.
So this big (giant, really) guy is called Galactus. He's big, and he's old. Been around since this universe was formed. In fact, he became the way he is when the universe was formed from the one that came before it. Before that, he was just, fuck, I don't know.. a regular guy, I guess. Flying around space, exploring or whatever. And then the end of the universe, and he's the only one to survive. Or maybe he died and was reborn in the new one. I don't know.
Point is, now he's Galactus. Devourer of Worlds. Third force of the Universe.
So one day he's hungry, and like i said, he eats worlds. Sucks all the energy or calories or whatever right outta them. So he shows up on my planet, on MY planet, Zenn-La. Looking to eat us all. And everyone else is pretty much too lazy and self-indulgent to do anything about it. Entire planet of lazy fucks, right? Too comfortable and complacent to do a damn thing. So instead it has to be me. Just me, by myself, I have to go to this.. this giant guy in purple and pink (really terrible color scheme, I don't even know why.. if I ate worlds, I'd go with black or something).
So I go and I offer myself up. I tell him, "Spare my planet, and I'll serve you.. find you other planets. A Krispy Kreme. I don't know. Whatever you need. Just let my people live."
And he goes for it. Absolutely against any and all of my expectations, he says yes. So I say goodbye to my life, and my girlfriend, and I go with him.
He's got all kinds of powers, aside from being big and eating worlds, and so he gives me some of his power, this cosmic power. Only we call it the "power cosmic" instead, don't ask me why (I asked once, regretted it immediately).
So he coats me in this silver stuff, and it protects me from space and everything, and he gives me a board to fly on, and all this power. And my job is just to be his herald. Like, I go find a world that will sustain him, because it has to a specific kind of planet, or it won't do it for him. So I find a planet, and I tell the people there to prepare for the end, that Galactus is coming. Think about it.. my job, MY JOB.. is to go and tell entire planets that a giant pink and purple guy is coming to eat them. Only I don't even grasp how unequivocally fucked up my job is, because when he changed me, he messed with my mind. Took any sense of remorse.
And then one day, this blind girl on a planet I led him to, she gets through to me. One blind girl, that was it. And I realize it, all of it. What I've been party to, genocide, whatever.
Can you imagine? No. Forget that. You can't, you can't possibly understand or imagine. You can't comprehend what a complete and total mind-fuck that is.
* Actually, courtesy of spacechild.
There's this guy, this.. like, this really, really big guy. And I don't mean big like Drax was big. Pre-Annihilation Drax, I mean. Big and dumb and energy-blasting Drax, that one. No, this guy is way bigger. He's like Celestial-big.
So this big (giant, really) guy is called Galactus. He's big, and he's old. Been around since this universe was formed. In fact, he became the way he is when the universe was formed from the one that came before it. Before that, he was just, fuck, I don't know.. a regular guy, I guess. Flying around space, exploring or whatever. And then the end of the universe, and he's the only one to survive. Or maybe he died and was reborn in the new one. I don't know.
Point is, now he's Galactus. Devourer of Worlds. Third force of the Universe.
So one day he's hungry, and like i said, he eats worlds. Sucks all the energy or calories or whatever right outta them. So he shows up on my planet, on MY planet, Zenn-La. Looking to eat us all. And everyone else is pretty much too lazy and self-indulgent to do anything about it. Entire planet of lazy fucks, right? Too comfortable and complacent to do a damn thing. So instead it has to be me. Just me, by myself, I have to go to this.. this giant guy in purple and pink (really terrible color scheme, I don't even know why.. if I ate worlds, I'd go with black or something).
So I go and I offer myself up. I tell him, "Spare my planet, and I'll serve you.. find you other planets. A Krispy Kreme. I don't know. Whatever you need. Just let my people live."
And he goes for it. Absolutely against any and all of my expectations, he says yes. So I say goodbye to my life, and my girlfriend, and I go with him.
He's got all kinds of powers, aside from being big and eating worlds, and so he gives me some of his power, this cosmic power. Only we call it the "power cosmic" instead, don't ask me why (I asked once, regretted it immediately).
So he coats me in this silver stuff, and it protects me from space and everything, and he gives me a board to fly on, and all this power. And my job is just to be his herald. Like, I go find a world that will sustain him, because it has to a specific kind of planet, or it won't do it for him. So I find a planet, and I tell the people there to prepare for the end, that Galactus is coming. Think about it.. my job, MY JOB.. is to go and tell entire planets that a giant pink and purple guy is coming to eat them. Only I don't even grasp how unequivocally fucked up my job is, because when he changed me, he messed with my mind. Took any sense of remorse.
And then one day, this blind girl on a planet I led him to, she gets through to me. One blind girl, that was it. And I realize it, all of it. What I've been party to, genocide, whatever.
Can you imagine? No. Forget that. You can't, you can't possibly understand or imagine. You can't comprehend what a complete and total mind-fuck that is.
* Actually, courtesy of spacechild.