Excerpt from this weeks Last Days...god it's fucking hilarious
SUNDAY, JANUARY 9 In much lighter news: The week ends with a flourish of horribleness from the wilds of cable TV. First came the accumulating horror brought by the wealth of tone-deaf tsunami-related programming, from Nickelodeon's broadcast of the kiddy beach flick Johnny Tsunami to TNT's broadcast of the George Clooney/Mark Wahlberg vehicle The Perfect Storm to USA's broadcast of the most unfortunately titled Kate Bosworth surf movie Blue Crush. But all was obliterated by the mind-blowing parade of horror that was tonight's premiere episode of The Surreal Life 4, the VH1 series that crams six faded celebrities into one tricked-out house for the voyeuristic delight of the nation. Past Surreal Life seasons have provided plenty of thrills, but season three scored more shock points in its first episode than all prior seasons combined. Head of the class: Verne Troyer, the minus-sized actor best known as Austin Power's Mini-Me, who spent the first episode getting so fucking drunk he began to resemble a rotting pumpkin. After being carried to bed by a sympathetic Christopher "Peter Brady" Knight, the alcohol-poisoned Troyer reemerged on his little-person scooter, which the buck-naked dwarf drove into a wall before mistakenly urinating in the corner. If civilizations get the entertainment they deserve, we are doomed to Hell, and the trip there is going to be horribly, horribly hilarious.