WTF Yoga Bros
There's this yoga class out in a park in Oakland in this bandstand thing every week. It's sliding scale but the first time I went I only had pocket change, so I didn't pay anywhere near the low end of the scale. I've been kinda depressed so I wanted to go again because it's cheap and convenient and outside on the lake. I had this sort of foreboding feeling that I might hurt myself at this class, but I brushed it off as just the lingering depression monster. When I get there a few people already have their mats set up and there's some cyclist group doing some sort of training where they have to ride around the park and then pick up their bikes and run through the bandstand. Most of the guys stop running through the bandstand and just ride around the outside, but one guy, who was apparently the leader, would not. He was polite enough to run around the edge of the group instead of running through the middle, but apparently that didn't satisfy the yoga bros. We were all perfectly happy to let the cyclists run around, but yoga bro decided it was a good idea to grab the cyclist. The next thing you know all hell breaks loose. The yoga teacher is not doing a damn thing. All of a sudden there's like this mob of cyclists, punky pit bull walking guys that were randomly in the park and yoga bros yelling in the middle of the yoga class. I flee and as I leave one of the other yoga students says, "you're new here, it's not normally like that." Ha! yeah. I don't care if it's not normally like this. It's like this now when I'm here and I'm not staying to do yoga in a pool of yoga bro blood. I don't get very far when I look back and the situation has escalated and there is a fistfight. What in the hell is happening with my life???? Last week I encountered so much violence. Is it just me??? Or has there been a spike in violence and crime the past week?? Some sort of weird astrological thing??