(no subject)

[kalakumari]

I'm really really really spending time contemplating what is normal health and wellbeing for people. I've started getting into radical disability rights, and they're into the idea that, "there's nithing wrong with it. It's the society that doesn't comprehend our inherent value as human beings that's the problem." And it's really made me start to reframe the way I think about myself as normal or abled or disabled. I'm really split on whether or not I should or want to use the term disabled to describe myself anymore. I really honestly feel like there's nothing wrong with me I just don't fit into or care about society's absurd dehumanizing structure and culture. But here I am anyway with fatigue and chronic pain barely able to support myself with the money I make doing my personal maximum but society's "part-time" amount of labor that's considered socially valuable. I'm not expecting to live in a mansion or drive a mercedes. That stuff has no value to me but there's no reason why I don't deserve food or basic care or shelter or those basic sorts of needs. Why do people think they have to earn food? Granted food does take energy and resources to create, but there's no reason why anyone should go without food. They say that there are more than enough resources to end world hunger, but it's the social and political structures that control access to food that's leaving us hungry. I saw so much of that in West Oakland, where there were no grocery stores and it was difficult to access any food other than poptarts and potato chips from the liquor store. There was no logical reason why there should not have been a grocery store in that neighborhood, and when I group tried to open one it took them YEARS to get anyone to take them seriously. People had resources to buy the groceries. They just needed a store that wasn't in the next town over. Now there's a tiny food co-op which is better than nothing, but still HELLO GROCERY STORE. Going back to disability, nobody bitches about a severely disabled adorable child being a drain on society, but once they hit adulthood they can go fuck themselves, starve and live on the streets for all anyone cares. Because being a homeless disabled drug addict is somehow less of a drain on society than just giving someone a bedroom and some fresh fruit. Talking to one of my severely disabled friends, apparently the state of VT will pay $3000 for her to go into a nursing home, which is not the kind of care she needs anyway, or they will pay $120 a month for her to have in home help to bring her groceries and help with chores around the house. She says there's apparently a huge nursing home lobby that gets government funds allocated that way. Because full time nursing care for $3000 a day is less of a drain on society than someone who can live independently except for a few key areas she needs help with.

So I don't know, I guess I'll continue marking the "disabled" check box because IDGAF about conforming to society's bizarre and absurd standards for what constitutes a legitimate productive human being.