Can the 10th just get here already...

Jan 08, 2019 11:21

Using my arms is hard today I don't even try to dare comb out my hair or twist it into a bun. I was sitting here trying to sip water but I tipped my head too far back and had some scary pain thing happen in my chest so I'm just sitting here crying trying to get myself together. I was hoping to take a shower today but we shall see maybe this afternoon will be better. I am hoping Dr. B will do a mri and admit me into the hospital cause being like this is so scary and I don't know what to do with myself given I just cannot move at all and just trying to get to the bathroom is a absolute torture.

I keep thinking what have I done to myself now? Can they even fix me? My arms are like the only thing I have left to rely on and now this. I'm so scared as to what this means and I don't want anyone to know and I just can't stop crying fearing the worst. Even though I'm talking to no one here but my journal at least I can write out what I'm feeling and going through and it sorta helps me not feel so crazy in fear and pain...
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