Like a kick to the head....
Well, this update is both going to contain good news and very very bad news.
Lets start with the mixed good news.
Alex and I bought collector's editions of World of Warcraft: Burning Crusades at midnight the day it was released. There were only 5 copies of the collector's edition in the whole store, and we both got one. At first they were limiting them one to group, so if a couple came in only ONE of them could get the collector's edition. They had plenty of the regular, non-collector's editions though. We were just going to get one collector's edition and one regular, but then a girl (Alliance) that had the collector's edition saw how much more expensive the collector's edition was, came back and was all "Anybody want this? I'm just going to get the regular one" and Alex went "YOINK!" and we scampered off before anybody could try to stop us.
Burning Crusades is VERY interesting... I tried making a blood elf warlock, but all the worst of the alliance have broken their necks switching horde for the blood elves... I just couldn't stand my blood elf after listening to those people. Sure, their racial abilities will make them pretty sick in the long run, especially as a rogue or warlock, but not only could I not get used to being an elf, I also WOULDN'T stand for the levels of retarded noobishness that was ooooooozing out of EVERYWHERE. I don't care what blizzard says, those damned blood elves belong in the alliance. They FEEL alliance.
On the other side, the Dranei, they feel Horde to me. Yes, I made a Dranei priest and a Dranei mage. Still haven't entirely decided on which one I want to keep and work on since I already have a 60 priest, but I do enjoy being a priest. Then again, the Dranei have a racial healing ability... so even as a mage, I can still racially heal myself and party members. I'm thinking I might keep the mage so I can solo since I can still racially self-heal. Throw on Herbalism/Alchemy professions on top of that and I'd be set.
Its kind of depressing... with the blood elves being in the horde, the horde is becoming the new alliance.... and thats a very BAD thing. I suppose at least if it gets too bad, at least I have a race on the alliance side I really do love and feel at home with.
As for Xulu, my 60 priest? I saved a crap ton of instance and raid quests for after BC came out so I could level on them... but with everyone so wrapped up in the NEW of Outlands, everyone cleared out all their old world quests for the new outlands quests and are freaking replacing epic tear gear with common GREEN drops. I think the "OMGWTFNEW!" spaz has killed the logical portions of their brains or something. Now with everyone off in the outlands, nobody is going to come back so I can finish my instances with Xulu... and thats depressing. This is the third time something NEW has crushed any hope of me finishing my quests that I cant solo.
I had a plan of doing all my old world quests to clear them out completely, thus putting a few levels under my belt before going off to outlands. That way I'd be going in there higher level and able to handle whats out there a little bit better, and give other people enough time breaking their necks to figure out whats out there and how to complete quests so not everyone is looking at each other, all confused as to what they're supposed to do.
I thought it was a good plan anyways... but apparently the execution of said plan is glitched.
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Well now that we're done with the World of Warcraft update, we might as well go on into the actual bad-news portion of this update.
My parents are getting divorced.
More specifically, my dad is divorcing my mom... because he's been having an affair.
I've been eaten alive by guilt for weeks now, ever since mom came out and told me. I felt like it was my fault, my fault because I picked him and asked him to be my dad. If I hadn't of done that, mom would have never married him and none of this would have ever happened in the first place.
As for dad... I've been secretly fearing that he's been having an affair for years now. He was always looking up porn on the internet and killing the computer with viruses, watching late night Cinemax on TV (which is soft core porn) [Note: only reason I knew this is when living at home, he'd sleep on the couch with THAT on the TV when I'd go sneaking from my room to the bathroom or kitchen in the middle of the night. I'd turn it off on him.] ...and then there was the fact he was always gone. He was rarely ever home,and when he was, its like he was a ghost. He was always running off to do his own thing. Hell, other than their wedding day, I'd never once seen the two of them so much as hug, let alone kiss or show any form of affection whatsoever. They slept in different beds for the entirety of their marriage.
He feels no guilt for what he's done... he sees nothing wrong it it at all either. It doesn't matter to him how much this hurt mom, to come out and say to her that he was never in love with her at all. That it was a marriage of conveniance... his conveniance, not hers. How much it hurts ME to see the man I thought was so much better than Leanord... end up being exactly the same as him. Leanord might have been physically abusive, but cuts and bruises will heal and make you stronger, more determined not to allow anyone to do that to you again. What Mark did... thats a kind of abuse thats like a plauge. It gets inside of you like a disease, and rots you out from the inside. Turns your own mind against you and has you hating yourself for having trusted anyone... and turns you into a bitter, cynical, jaded and humorless shell in the end....and its already starting to work its corruptive poison on my mom.
I can see it in her... she's changing. She doesn't trust people anymore. She doesn't give people the benefit of the doubt that maybe they're good people anymore. "Good people" are just good liars and manipulators, waiting to lull you into a false sense of security and set themselves in the perfect spot to tear your heart out and feast upon it's juicy raw emotion.
"The world is out to get me" mentality has set in for her... and I don't think she'll ever be able to trust someone ever again. Not after that... and I cant blame her. I can't for one moment blame her for wanting to seal herself away into a fortress of ice. MY old fortress of ice.
If I didn't already have Alex, his love and support... my big fuzzy rock to anchor myself to and keep me safer than a citadel of spite ever could.... I'd be in the same position as my mom. Jaded and bitter toward even the concept of kindness, viewing things like love as nothing more than a myth to be shattered before some other predator comes along and adds another heart to their collection of destruction.
I just don't know what to do now. Dad's already moved out and left... while mom is all alone in that big house thats about half falling apart. Just looking at the place, you can see its neglected. Theres no love inside there, all the love was driven out by him. I know it weird to say, but it actually feels like the house itself is depressed and wounded.
I just don't know how she's going to survive now. I don't think she makes enough money to continue living there on her own, and I'm scared to let her continue living alone. She's a strong, resiliant woman.... but even steel will snap like a twig under enough pressure. I dont want to go coddle her like she's some type of child or invalid that cant do for herself, it'd only add insult to a serious wound, but I cant just walk away with a "Your problem now" either.
I don't know what to do... and my trying to help them will just get me involved and put me through the loops of pain and hurt even more than they already have.
As for mark... he can go right back to the place we found him from... a roach-infested hole-in-the-wall apartment, just barely half-assing it through life with nothing to show for it. Never doing anything that would cause him even a moment's discomfort, or extending himself for anyone... ever.
and then is just dawns on me... if Mark were on the internet.... he'd be a noob. Not a Newbi, thats just the new guy, but a NOOB. A complete fuck up that makes no effort to do anything, and gets everything they have by leeching off the smaller and weaker.
I just don't know what to do... and this is all so very depressing.
Lets start with the mixed good news.
Alex and I bought collector's editions of World of Warcraft: Burning Crusades at midnight the day it was released. There were only 5 copies of the collector's edition in the whole store, and we both got one. At first they were limiting them one to group, so if a couple came in only ONE of them could get the collector's edition. They had plenty of the regular, non-collector's editions though. We were just going to get one collector's edition and one regular, but then a girl (Alliance) that had the collector's edition saw how much more expensive the collector's edition was, came back and was all "Anybody want this? I'm just going to get the regular one" and Alex went "YOINK!" and we scampered off before anybody could try to stop us.
Burning Crusades is VERY interesting... I tried making a blood elf warlock, but all the worst of the alliance have broken their necks switching horde for the blood elves... I just couldn't stand my blood elf after listening to those people. Sure, their racial abilities will make them pretty sick in the long run, especially as a rogue or warlock, but not only could I not get used to being an elf, I also WOULDN'T stand for the levels of retarded noobishness that was ooooooozing out of EVERYWHERE. I don't care what blizzard says, those damned blood elves belong in the alliance. They FEEL alliance.
On the other side, the Dranei, they feel Horde to me. Yes, I made a Dranei priest and a Dranei mage. Still haven't entirely decided on which one I want to keep and work on since I already have a 60 priest, but I do enjoy being a priest. Then again, the Dranei have a racial healing ability... so even as a mage, I can still racially heal myself and party members. I'm thinking I might keep the mage so I can solo since I can still racially self-heal. Throw on Herbalism/Alchemy professions on top of that and I'd be set.
Its kind of depressing... with the blood elves being in the horde, the horde is becoming the new alliance.... and thats a very BAD thing. I suppose at least if it gets too bad, at least I have a race on the alliance side I really do love and feel at home with.
As for Xulu, my 60 priest? I saved a crap ton of instance and raid quests for after BC came out so I could level on them... but with everyone so wrapped up in the NEW of Outlands, everyone cleared out all their old world quests for the new outlands quests and are freaking replacing epic tear gear with common GREEN drops. I think the "OMGWTFNEW!" spaz has killed the logical portions of their brains or something. Now with everyone off in the outlands, nobody is going to come back so I can finish my instances with Xulu... and thats depressing. This is the third time something NEW has crushed any hope of me finishing my quests that I cant solo.
I had a plan of doing all my old world quests to clear them out completely, thus putting a few levels under my belt before going off to outlands. That way I'd be going in there higher level and able to handle whats out there a little bit better, and give other people enough time breaking their necks to figure out whats out there and how to complete quests so not everyone is looking at each other, all confused as to what they're supposed to do.
I thought it was a good plan anyways... but apparently the execution of said plan is glitched.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Well now that we're done with the World of Warcraft update, we might as well go on into the actual bad-news portion of this update.
My parents are getting divorced.
More specifically, my dad is divorcing my mom... because he's been having an affair.
I've been eaten alive by guilt for weeks now, ever since mom came out and told me. I felt like it was my fault, my fault because I picked him and asked him to be my dad. If I hadn't of done that, mom would have never married him and none of this would have ever happened in the first place.
As for dad... I've been secretly fearing that he's been having an affair for years now. He was always looking up porn on the internet and killing the computer with viruses, watching late night Cinemax on TV (which is soft core porn) [Note: only reason I knew this is when living at home, he'd sleep on the couch with THAT on the TV when I'd go sneaking from my room to the bathroom or kitchen in the middle of the night. I'd turn it off on him.] ...and then there was the fact he was always gone. He was rarely ever home,and when he was, its like he was a ghost. He was always running off to do his own thing. Hell, other than their wedding day, I'd never once seen the two of them so much as hug, let alone kiss or show any form of affection whatsoever. They slept in different beds for the entirety of their marriage.
He feels no guilt for what he's done... he sees nothing wrong it it at all either. It doesn't matter to him how much this hurt mom, to come out and say to her that he was never in love with her at all. That it was a marriage of conveniance... his conveniance, not hers. How much it hurts ME to see the man I thought was so much better than Leanord... end up being exactly the same as him. Leanord might have been physically abusive, but cuts and bruises will heal and make you stronger, more determined not to allow anyone to do that to you again. What Mark did... thats a kind of abuse thats like a plauge. It gets inside of you like a disease, and rots you out from the inside. Turns your own mind against you and has you hating yourself for having trusted anyone... and turns you into a bitter, cynical, jaded and humorless shell in the end....and its already starting to work its corruptive poison on my mom.
I can see it in her... she's changing. She doesn't trust people anymore. She doesn't give people the benefit of the doubt that maybe they're good people anymore. "Good people" are just good liars and manipulators, waiting to lull you into a false sense of security and set themselves in the perfect spot to tear your heart out and feast upon it's juicy raw emotion.
"The world is out to get me" mentality has set in for her... and I don't think she'll ever be able to trust someone ever again. Not after that... and I cant blame her. I can't for one moment blame her for wanting to seal herself away into a fortress of ice. MY old fortress of ice.
If I didn't already have Alex, his love and support... my big fuzzy rock to anchor myself to and keep me safer than a citadel of spite ever could.... I'd be in the same position as my mom. Jaded and bitter toward even the concept of kindness, viewing things like love as nothing more than a myth to be shattered before some other predator comes along and adds another heart to their collection of destruction.
I just don't know what to do now. Dad's already moved out and left... while mom is all alone in that big house thats about half falling apart. Just looking at the place, you can see its neglected. Theres no love inside there, all the love was driven out by him. I know it weird to say, but it actually feels like the house itself is depressed and wounded.
I just don't know how she's going to survive now. I don't think she makes enough money to continue living there on her own, and I'm scared to let her continue living alone. She's a strong, resiliant woman.... but even steel will snap like a twig under enough pressure. I dont want to go coddle her like she's some type of child or invalid that cant do for herself, it'd only add insult to a serious wound, but I cant just walk away with a "Your problem now" either.
I don't know what to do... and my trying to help them will just get me involved and put me through the loops of pain and hurt even more than they already have.
As for mark... he can go right back to the place we found him from... a roach-infested hole-in-the-wall apartment, just barely half-assing it through life with nothing to show for it. Never doing anything that would cause him even a moment's discomfort, or extending himself for anyone... ever.
and then is just dawns on me... if Mark were on the internet.... he'd be a noob. Not a Newbi, thats just the new guy, but a NOOB. A complete fuck up that makes no effort to do anything, and gets everything they have by leeching off the smaller and weaker.
I just don't know what to do... and this is all so very depressing.