Shy night encounter (Oneshot)
Title: Shy night encounter (Oneshot)
Pairing: TaeNy
Rating: G
Genre: Confession/Angst/Fluff
Summary: A lot is going on in Taeyeon's head, she finds herself outside of Tiffany's door in the middle of the night with sweaty hands.
Taeyeon knocks on Tiffany’s door and stands for a few seconds and wonders if it was loud enough for her to hear. Cause if it wasn’t, this wasn’t off to a good start. Her hands are sweaty, but the thought of bringing paper was mismatched. She lets them fall to her sides and dries them on her cotton pants instead - it feels dirty, like it might stain and look dark. She looks down quickly on her thighs but it’s too dark too see and it’s just in time before Tiffany’s surprised face opens the door. Taeyeon looks up and tries a small smile but it fails a little as she squints from the heavy lighting of the room.
“Oh” Tiffany says, looks behind the girl, to the sides, and then whispers as she continues ”Taeyeon?” suddenly aware of the time when she notices Taeyeon’s blue pajamas, while herself still wore her jeans and blouse from dinner.
“Why-“
“Hey-“
They both try and Tiffany looks to the side while Taeyeon looks down. Tiffany bites her lower lip as her hand rests on the doorknob, twisting it. Taeyeon brings her hand to her face and pulls her fallen hair behind her one ear. Tiffany watches the act.
“Can I come in for a sec?” She asks, a little too quickly for their rhythm, but Tiffany had apparently spaced out.
“Tiffa-“
“Yes!” Tiffany jumps suddenly, almost scaring Taeyeon by the sudden switch. Tiffany looks a little more alive as she backs and invites her in. Taeyeon follows behind but as soon as she grabs the door she starts having a mental fight with herself whether she should close the door or not, and how hard. But then Tiffany talks to her.
“Close the door behind you, I don’t want any bugs from the living room window flying in here.” And Taeyeon gladly compels and closes it slowly and quietly with both hands on the knob and with her back against Tiffany.
Now, Taeyeon figured she was disturbing Tiffany either in her sleep or late night studies, but as she finally turns around she sees the girl having a battle on where to sit in her rarely cleaned room. She also notices the fidgeting fingers. She waits, and in the end Tiffany ended up on the bed. Taeyeon acts and moves towards a chair to sit on.
Distance is her only sane and safe choice.
The atmosphere wasn’t very pleasant. Taeyeon started to call her name when she was cut off.
“You should call me Fany.”She says quickly, pointing it out. Taeyeon nods, holding her own hands one over the other in her lap. Same was Tiffany.
Taeyeon didn’t begin again.
“Um, you were going to say something? …Try again.” Tiffany pushes a tad, not entirely sure how long they would have stayed quiet, at the same time not entirely sure what she was pushing on. She shifts slightly and looks expectantly at Taeyeon.
Taeyeon can’t stop the pressuring feeling that Tiffany is analyzing and judging her every breath. Her heart pounds hard.
“I…” Taeyeon’s whole body starts tensing. She decides to stand up, which didn’t really lessen then stare from Tiffany that suddenly turned into a worried look. As If she wanted to protest, Tiffany shifted again on the bed when Taeyeon began walking around the room. The girls’ front turned away from her. She seems to do that a lot.
Taeyeon closes her eyes and breathes, feeling herself grow hot. But when she reaches Tiffany’s drawer that is just beside the door and slides a hand across the wood, she speaks.
“I like your room.” It comes out softly, stolling-ly. She looks up into the mirror on top of the drawer, seeing Tiffany. She smiles.
“It’s the first time I’m in here.” Tiffany swallows, as she was now barely sitting on the edge of the bed.
“I know” Her head was a mess that had scattered all across the whole room invincibly, but Taeyeon didn’t know that much. Taeyeon, she wasn’t one to see the signs, nor did she ever take risks when there was much at stake.
Tiffany felt strangely insecure as Taeyeon stopped and fiddled with her things every now and then.
Taeyeon wasn’t as strong as her legs that had brought her here, they just did.
As she looks into the mirror her eyes watches the wonder on the bed who’s watching her. Taeyeon is a bit intimidated by the perfection so she begins pulling back sooner than expected. She turns around and smiles sheepishly, cracking a knuckle.
“I forgot what I came here to say. I think I should go.” She says casually but wants to scream at how much Tiffany isn’t going to buy it, but Taeyeon only needs her to not say anything the next seconds.
She walks towards the door and would have escaped “Wait!” hadn’t it been the fast girl on the bed who gripped onto her arm. Taeyeon’s eyes widen when she felt her arm caught, and herself caught in the I’m-going pose. Tiffany’s body language reeks panic and Taeyeon sweats again.
“Are you sure?” The fragile voice, and the fact that Tiffany had acted shacked Taeyeon’s knees. The door was right next to her, she could still make a run for it, or make up another quick excuse and get out of here.
But how would that look? Could she even face Tiffany after that?
Taeyeon stays quiet and immobilized. She wants to just turn towards her and spill it, but it’s just not that easy. She tries, but stops when she finds Tiffany’s words.
“We’re friends, right Taeyeon?”
And the little hope she had slowly breaks inside. It’s like words want to come out but they don’t. It’s hugely disturbing and she hates that when she glances at Tiffany it looked like she hated what she had just said, but held it in. Maybe there wasn’t much left.
“Yes, we are. I care for you.” Taeyeon feels her tears misting up and that’s never good. So she turns towards the door completely and feels Tiffany’s hand fall from her arm. She focuses on the door knob. She can reach it if she wants to.
“I’m glad.” And it’s like a perfect ending, well, maybe not perfect, but the moment things would still be kind of okay if Taeyeon leaves now. Since they haven’t really gone to the point of no return yet, she should turn around, smile, turn back, and then leave. I mean that would have been pretty okay.
…so why did she feel like testing fate?
“Do you really care for me?” It’s between low and wanting Tiffany to hear, because if she didn’t, it’s like there is another change to leave again.
But she did. If Taeyeon only knew how intently Tiffany was listening to any sound from her.
“Of course I do.” The tears were splitting from her eyes and going their own way, embarrassingly.
Tiffany was way too close. Taeyeon sniffs loudly and it was now obvious that she was crying. Tiffany’s jaw clenches. She reaches out for Taeyeon’s hand, and was a few centimeters away when Taeyeon speaks.
“Then why are we friends who use formalities and never hang out? I mean I can love you…” Taeyeon speaks with some power, and Tiffany’s heartbeat beats noticeably louder inside her.
“…And you can love him.” Taeyeon wants to slam her head into something every time she mentions his existence. But to her extent, it’s correct. Her hand that Tiffany almost touches raises up to dry her tears. Tiffany looks at the empty reach, she feels guilty. Even though she has all the right in the world to love him.
Except she doesn’t want to anymore.
At the mention of him she feels nothing. He isn’t bad, there just wasn’t love like before. Her hands crumble instead because the information is incorrect. But she feels if she tells Taeyeon this something is going to happen between them tonight. And Tiffany wants to be sure about every emotion she is feeling… but can’t grasp Taeyeon. The feeling of Taeyeon in her room, this late, her state - she just can’t grasp. The thin line they’re walking on is hard to grasp when she pounders over that Taeyeon is a woman and is someone who might… might
“I agree. It’s not the same between you two.”
Tiffany is being too clear Taeyeon feels and she just wants to get out of there and in to her bed and under her sheets. Bad plan, why didn’t she leave right away? There is nothing more she’d want than to wake up from this dream.
But she’s 22, inexperienced, and doesn’t really dream a lot. She doesn’t really have too much, she doesn’t hate too much, she doesn’t love too many, and she isn’t proud. She isn’t a lesbian she says, because she can’t see herself with another woman but Tiffany - and even that feels like a crime.
And just as Tiffany had crushed her hope, she left.
The room outside feels cold, the hallway busy, it’s almost morning. Taeyeon’s eyes aren’t closing, she isn’t thinking. A right turn and her door is opened because Sunny is awake and is somewhere. She goes in and locks the door, Sunny’s key is in the room as well. Taeyeon just wants to be selfish and alone, she wants to cry alone. Sometimes it’s just those times where you know people can comfort you, but you just don’t want it.
Under her sheets it’s warm, but not warmer than her. Maybe a fever is catching on. She falls asleep with wet bangs and heavy breathing and dreams someone is banging on a door, but her eyes are wide open, and Sunny is yelling.
Her name is screamed, and the door feels fragile but is still hanging in there. As if it was on Taeyeon’s side. The sheet falls off her and she’s drenched her whole pajamas.
How long did she sleep? She doesn’t know if she’s awake or not. Then she remembers Tiffany, how she turned around, and left her.
Except she didn’t really leave her, that’s all in Taeyeon’s head.
Taeyeon finally turns around and Tiffany was so close, closer than she thought, looking at her. Maybe she had moved a little. As she looks at her, and Tiffany sees her fresh teary eyes, everything was just getting too complicated. No comeback for Tiffany words would come out, no real words from her heart would come out. For a moment Taeyeon thought about kissing her, which was probably the most insane choice of the few she had. Her hand gestured some sort of fast embrace, but she didn’t complete it. It was a hesitation, and as soon as she caught herself, she caught Tiffany’s body against hers. Tiffany enveloped her in a hug, resting her chin on the shorter shoulder. Neither of the two knew really what to do.
Tiffany breathes and says “Don’t go.” Alarmed arms around Taeyeon’s waist, her hair sending her sent into Taeyeon and she closed her eyes and inhales. She was getting excited, and maybe the broken hope had seen light? But then Tiffany pulls away, lingering her lips pass the girls ear and then completely away, but rests a gentle light hand on Taeyeon’s neck as the separated hug didn’t part all too much. The other one is low around her waist.
“You are still here.” Tiffany whispers, smiling, and seems suddenly more forward. “Are we friends, Taeyeon?” Tiffany looks expectantly into Taeyeon’s eyes as she breathes on Taeyeon’s lips.
Taeyeon feels everything weakening, she is still confused, still have a lot of questions. Was Tiffany really being this intimate? And can she when he-I mean, when there is someone else.
She asks with lowering eyes.
“What do you want me to say?” A possibly defeat.
Tiffany whispers. “I want you to say no.” Taeyeon swallows. Tiffany carefully takes Taeyeon’s limbs and puts them around herself. They fall around Tiffany’s neck, and it feels like a strangely feminine grip for Taeyeon. Her chest flushes hard and her back almost touches the door.
“No” and Tiffany lands her lips on the girl, not fully confident in that Taeyeon won’t pull away, so she presses softly at first. Her half-closed eyes waits for Taeyeon’s to close or pull away, but they close quickly with a yearning sigh, and Tiffany’s heart jumps with glee as she became noticeably touchier.
They kiss, but Taeyeon is shy with touching Tiffany’s body. Taeyeon’s pajamas is already being stripped off, the upper part, and she’s shy about that too. She starts small and picks at Tiffany’s blouse but the buttons are so irritatingly small that with Taeyeon’s eagerness - it hurts her fingers. She moans in Tiffany’s mouth when she feels her tongue. But when Tiffany hears someone outside her unlocked door, Taeyeon’s back becomes pushed onto the door hard.
“Miyoung? Are you awake? Breakfast is ready.” Sunny bangs the door and Taeyeon shakes against it. Tiffany breaks away for a second “I’m not hungry.” She yells, controlling her breath. Her low one hand let’s go of the waist embrace and passes Taeyeon’s waist and locks the door as footsteps are getting distant.
She smiles cause now they are completely safe. She backs from the embrace leaving Taeyeon displayed against the door in an attack manner, her breath uneven, her blue long sleeved shirt off, bra also nicely displayed.
Tiffany opens the buttons as she walks backwards towards the room in a kinky fashion, then spun around on the spot. The blouse came sliding down her shoulders and Taeyeon wasn’t the only one in a bra. It all felt like if she blinked, she’s miss something, Tiffany was that fast. The skin looked so touchable she picked herself up and moved towards her in a slow I’m-ready-for-this sense.
But it’s something as simple as a spare key in the living room that keeps her from it. And just like a scene in a drama, Tiffany pulls her blouse up again as Taeyeon, pants and bra clad, turns around seeing Sooyoung and Seohyun opening the door. And as soon as Sooyoung registries that Taeyeon’s mouth was a little too red, her hair a little flipped north and that more than clothes changing was going on - everything felt like it was in slow motion. How Sooyoung hurriedly covered the magnaes gasping eyes, dragging her out, and how the sounds of the clocks weren’t audible anymore and the hard slam when Sooyoung kicked the door to shut. It became quiet after that.
Taeyeon’s pretty speechless as she turns and looks over at the hiding Tiffany, she’s behind her bed. Noticing how she started to cry was the worst sight in the world. Her voice seemed to be gone, and her feet felt like stone but screams on the inside that this can’t be over. She has loved Tiffany for too long, and now when she got her it wasn’t supposed to end this quickly. It wasn’t supposed to end at all. There is a big chance the others will understand and accept it, but there is a change they won’t and it doesn’t matter how small that percent is, existing wise it would shatter everything. Her eyes flip from place to place on the floor as she freaks out. And as she makes eye contact with Tiffany, Taeyeon comes up with the quickest greatest plan alive - to lie to the others.
If Tiffany wants it that way.