This really sucks
I'm really glad that I decided to keep this bc right now this journal comes in handy....especially at times like this. Right now I'm a mixture of feeling stressed, frustrated, and anger. I really hate this fucked up situation that I am in right now. Where do I begin....well I'm living with my ex-gf and at the same time she is getting back with her fucking husband. Actually I take that back I'm not angry I'm freaking pissed!! I have sacrificed a lot to be with her. It just feels like she planned from the very start....like I was being used. I even went with her to get divorce papers, I thought this is it.....she is the one. Everything the two of us have talked about is gonna happen.
NOPE! It all came crashing down in one moment.....I don't think I have ever felt more depressed in my life, I would have done anything for her and like fucking moron I still do and nothing......I hate being this fucking nice guy.....it gets you jack shit with women, they clearly want that guy who is gonna be an asshole to them. I'm still holding on to hope or something like an idiot.
One day this week I came home too loudly blah blah blah.....she got angry bc they were sleeping. So I'm in my room and what the is going on? They are fucking being loud as shit!!! I even heard her say she's done it's over, part of me is happy to hear her say that...am I horrible to think that? But nothing still together. I am so frustrated that the next time they fight in my apartment I'm gonna surprise the shit out of them when they see how pissed off I am. Yeah she is pissing me off recently, but I still love her a ton....and still being an idiot and believing in something.
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